Chapter 3 Chapter Two Psychological Manipulation to Eliminate Tension and Fear

Do you overestimate people when you meet them for the first time?Or before you met, you imagined the image of the other person several times in your mind, and felt uneasy about those illusory images?To be honest, "The thing that makes you suspicious is just the shadow of the tree outside the window!" Fear of the other party is often the result of self-consciousness. This chapter will introduce you how to eliminate the psychological tactics of anxiety and fear mentioned above.If you can beat yourself in this battle, you have won the first meeting. Whether you win or lose, strength is important, but the key lies in how much confidence you have in winning.Excessive exaggeration of the opponent's strength, making oneself shudder, is doomed to failure; although the opponent's strength is several times stronger than our own, if we can maintain an equal attitude to it psychologically and realize our potential, then even if the "enemy is in front of us", we will be defeated. "It can also make them "bow their heads and bow their heads." In our common wrestling, golf, go, chess and other competitions, psychological warfare is the key to victory or defeat, so the battle before the competition is full of excitement.American professional golfer Torrebina has a famous story about his match with golf king Jack Nicklaus.In this game, Torrebina's psychological pressure can be imagined.Torrebina secretly took the fake snake toy that Nicklaus hated the most into the No. 1 tee area and threw it at Nicklaus, making Nicklaus, who was famous as the world champion, jump up and down the court like a child in fear. Na was able to get rid of the oppressive feeling of playing against the king, easily finished the game and won.

Of course, Torrebina's approach is not advisable, but Nicklaus was greatly impressed by Torrebina's psychological tactics, and the two became good friends.When a rookie in the chess world played chess with his seniors, he tried to think about the opponent's messy and disorganized family repeatedly, so as to eliminate the feeling of oppression.These psychological warfare methods are for your reference. If you are always concerned about the other party's evaluation, and there is a psychological pressure that cannot be broken, then carefully observe the other party's expression, clothing, and speaking demeanor to find out the other party's shortcomings.In this way, you can change from a passive posture being evaluated to an active one evaluating others, and the feeling of oppression and tension will also be relieved accordingly.Even something as small as the awareness of the dirt on the other party's shirt, the button falling off the suit, etc., is enough to appease yourself and create an equal psychological feeling with the other party.

This story happened in the first game of a baseball game.The participating teams are all experienced and stand out from the crowd.However, on the big stadium that can accommodate tens of thousands of spectators, our players turned pale and stiffened with tension.Especially the pitcher, who is so nervous that he doesn't know how to throw the first ball.At this time, in order to calm people's hearts, the coach of the team took a shocking contingency measure: he signaled to the pitcher that he would intentionally throw a big wild shot from the beginning.At this time, the catcher also looked at the coach knowingly, and smiled at each other knowingly.In this way, the atmosphere in the stadium was eased, and the pitcher made a wonderful performance beautifully.

The occasion of the first meeting is like the first ball in the first game in the story. To relieve tension, we must throw the tight mind and body outward like a ball for relief.When you greet someone for the first time, try to let go of your voice as much as possible, say hello loudly, hold the other person's hand forcefully, make a harmless joke, and laugh boldly, which will definitely put the tension out of the sky. I don’t know if you have this kind of experience: I had a fight with my wife before going out in the morning, and when I went to work in the company, no matter what happened.I feel that today's leader is very mean and loves to catch people's pigtails!Freshly brewed tea is particularly bitter!When I went to visit a customer for business, I felt that the customer was probably an annoying guy before I saw the customer!

The reason for all this unhappiness is the unpleasant mood of the couple quarreling before going out.This situation was brought to the office like a shadow, and even brought to the customers who met for the first time.Everything you see and hear becomes repulsive. A psychologist calls it "emotional identity." We have given examples of negative identity above. Let's take a look at examples of positive effects. .The day the son of the family was admitted to a key high school, the nagging leader didn't feel nagging today, and the newly brewed tea was also very fragrant... When meeting someone for the first time, if you can make good use of positive identity, you can go to the appointment with a happy mood and no longer feel nervous.How to make yourself happy?If you like playing video games, play video games!If you like to appreciate paintings, then go to the art gallery and take a look at the paintings!It is said that the philosopher Werther Yuan Xiutang, who wrote the book "A Test of Logic and Philosophy", when his thoughts were blocked, he went to watch martial arts movies, and his thoughts immediately opened up.If you let yourself close your study and immerse yourself in thinking hard, then the blocked thoughts will still be blocked, and you will not be able to reason out your thoughts no matter what.

Anyone who is successful in doing things and gets along well with others knows how to use the identity of emotions to convert negative effects into positive effects. remember!Unpleasant emotions will give the other party an unpleasant impression; if there are any unpleasant things beforehand, put them aside temporarily, and let a happy you appear in front of the other party! When you meet someone of high social status or difficult person for the first time, you often feel agitated and anxious. This is due to your sense of obligation.At this time, please set the meeting date as soon as possible, shorten the uneasy time, and wait for the meeting date to come.

This tactic was adopted for two psychological reasons. First, shorten the time before meeting to prevent yourself from thinking wildly. Usually, before we meet each other, we will draw the image of the other party in our hearts in advance. After a long time, the image of the other party fabricated by our own imagination often takes root in our hearts inexplicably.So much so that when we actually met, the other party was completely different from what we had imagined, but we couldn't accept the real him calmly.In order to prevent such a mentality, please meet the other party as soon as possible!

Second, the appointment of time in advance also reflects our initiative and enthusiasm.Talking and communication in psychology can be divided into two types: indicative therapy and non-indicative therapy.The so-called instruction therapy means that when the patient is notified of the treatment time, the next "instruction" asks him to "come for treatment on time on a certain day and month." At this time, the doctor is the active one, while the patient is completely passive; continue this treatment After that, the patient gradually surrendered to a passive posture and had a strong sense of dependence on the doctor.As a result, the patient's self-will is weak, and even long-term interview treatment cannot recover.

In contrast, non-prescription therapy emphasizes patient initiative.When the doctor informed him of the treatment date, he used a negotiating tone: "Please spare your time on a certain day and month so that you can come for treatment." That's all.At this time, the patient is the initiative, and the doctor is the cooperator.As a result, patients who were not cured by long-term treatment recovered surprisingly in a short period of time.Non-prescription therapy plays an important role in the treatment of mental asthenia today. Similarly, when meeting someone for the first time, actively showing initiative is a metaphor for the self-improvement mentality of not being afraid of the other party.

Many people have this experience. When the heart is happy, the steps are light, but when the will is depressed, the steps become very heavy.When a writer went to the publishing house to promote his works before he became famous, he deliberately relaxed his pace. After all, an unknown young writer who had no acquaintance with the publishing house could imagine the feeling of embarrassment and embarrassment. You know, if you don't relax your pace, you really don't have the courage to step into the publishing house. From a psychological point of view, this method can indeed alleviate the anxiety of meeting for the first time.James Langer has a famous saying: "One does not cry because one is sad, but one is sad because one cries."

This is a claim that due to external stimuli, psychological awareness of physiological changes, followed by emotional ups and downs such as anger and sadness.Indeed, in our daily life, we have experienced many times that the originally unhappy mood is brightened by the physiological changes caused by excitement. After understanding this mental state, I believe everyone can infer that depression and heavy steps have no benefit other than increasing the anxiety when meeting.On the contrary, stepping on a brisk pace, the mood is relaxed, and the anxiety and tension are also eased a lot. I believe that everyone has a concept: "People who are not punctual are not keeping their promises" is not just a moral issue.When we are late for an appointment, we have to apologize for our behavior, which puts us at a disadvantage.Especially when you are meeting the other party for the first time or if the other party is an unfamiliar person, if you rush to say sorry in the first sentence, you will inevitably get confused due to panic. A capable salesman said that when he made an appointment to meet someone outside, he must arrive 20 minutes earlier than the scheduled time, calm down, and think deeply about the content of the conversation again.In doing so, he has the confidence to persuade him even in the face of the most difficult clients. The person who adopts the above method is indeed a brilliant person who can read people's hearts. If you are fully prepared and confident in advance, you will have an advantage.If the other party is a little bit late, this advantage will be strengthened, and the dominance of the first meeting will be in your hands! The eyes determine the position of the other party, subtly expressing the subtle relationship with this person.When a professor was doing psychological research for a year at the University of California, he met a psychologist who was more than two meters tall. In the eyes of Orientals, the professor, who was not small, stood side by side with him, like an adult and a child.When the professor first talked with him, he always felt a sense of oppression, so he tried to avoid meeting him in the future. It is reasonable to say that they are both psychologists, and their status should be equal. However, due to the physical factors of the height of their eyes, the short stature is at a psychological disadvantage.In a similar situation, such as between father and son, the father has an absolute dominant position when the child is young, but when the child grows to be taller than the father, the father's dominant position is often shaken. Looking at the height of each other's eyes is just the proof that physical factors affect psychology. With the difference in height, the meeter may feel their superiority or inferiority.Do you also unconsciously put yourself at a disadvantage when you first meet because of your small stature?Or do you feel uncomfortable talking to them because of it? The fear and discomfort mentioned above will hinder the success of the first meeting.Regardless of other conditions for the time being, at least the fact that the height of the eyes determines the psychological status is not to be taken lightly.The easiest way to solve this problem is to both sit down and talk! Sitting down and talking, no one can feel the pressure of height, and it is easy to adjust the height of the gaze of the other party through the depth of the sitting posture.For example, when talking with someone you meet for the first time at a banquet, be sure to ask the other person to sit down and talk together. In this way, both of them can avoid unnecessary tension, and the conversation can proceed smoothly. I mentioned a big psychologist before. After the professor gradually got acquainted with him, he would always invite him to sit down with him when talking.Especially when researching academics and stating opinions, if you don't sit down and talk, professors will often unknowingly succumb to the opponent's arguments.In order to achieve a psychologically equal relationship, the professor had to use psychological warfare and invite the other party to sit down and talk together. After World War II, the United States and the Soviet Union entered a terrible "cold war" state.In order to break this deadlock, US President Kennedy and former Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev agreed to hold a summit meeting, but the two sides disagreed over the location of the meeting, and finally decided to hold it in Vienna, Austria, a neutral country. Why did the United States and the Soviet Union care so much about the meeting place?The reason is that when people negotiate or compete face-to-face, the key to success is not only determined by the character and ability of the parties involved, environmental factors are also very important.Professional baseball is a prime example.For example, in the battle between the Giants and the Hanshin, if the game is held in Korakuen, the site of the Giants, then the Giants will be able to play with ease; The odds are greater.The reason is that in addition to the support of the audience and the players' familiarity with the field, there is also an invisible subtle atmosphere that is tied to the players' minds. Therefore, when meeting someone for the first time, you should try to agree on a territory you are familiar with, or at least a neutral zone. Since a company moved into a new office building, the office efficiency of its employees has been greatly reduced, which has puzzled the managers.Generally speaking, the new office is bright and spacious, and the equipment is more complete than the original workplace, so the work efficiency should be improved! After investigation, it was unexpectedly found that the reason for the low work efficiency was the large bright glass windows in the new office.Looking out from the window, the outside scenery is clearly reflected in the eyes. Similarly, people outside can also clearly see the inside of the office.As a result, employees feel restless and unable to concentrate on doing things.As a result, companies had to install shutters on the elaborate glass windows in order to restore productivity. As far as the difference between "seeing people and being seen" is concerned, the weaker party always has lowered eyelids, and is in a disadvantageous position to let the strong one observe.So, the reason we feel uneasy when people are watching us is because we feel we are at a disadvantage.If you bow your head when you first meet the other party, it is tantamount to giving up the initiative to the other party. In order to maintain a normal psychological balance, please look at each other bravely! There is a person who specializes in photography of female models and is famous for his supernatural ability to make models voluntarily take off their clothes and take nude photos.No matter how famous a female movie star is, as long as he acts personally, they will agree to take nude photos as if by magic.Perhaps everyone will think: this person must have a three-inch tongue that is extremely persuasive.We don't care about his photography skills for the time being, but in terms of his demeanor, appearance and conversation, to be honest, he can't be called the charm that fascinates women.When someone asked him where the secret lies, his answer was quite surprising. Facing the model who had just arrived in the studio, the photographer immediately said to her straight to the point: "Today I would like to trouble you to cooperate with me. What I hope is a nude photo." Here I want to emphasize that this photographer is not a bold and cheeky person, but in order to relieve the uneasy tension and a series of questions: Is she willing to accept my request?How can I convince the other party?Simply after seeing each other, he immediately confided his purpose. Indeed, when you bring out the tense subject, you feel a sense of relief.Once you're out of the woods, you'll be able to speak to the model in a relaxed and natural tone.Once your poised attitude infects the other person and helps her reduce her anxiety, she will generously agree to your request and make your wish come true. You've probably seen in the movies or on TV how people feel overwhelmed when they meet for the first time.Usually it is a blind date between a man and a woman, and the two parties are silent. When one party is about to speak, the other party just wants to say something, so they both open their mouths at the same time, and then shut their mouths at the same time in embarrassment.After a while, the same situation happened again.Although this plot has a comic effect, if it really happened to me, I can imagine the panic and embarrassment.It is said that on a similar blind date, the man with a sense of humor said to the woman, "We really have a tacit understanding!" One word made the woman laugh, and even the woman's parents laughed, and the atmosphere immediately became relaxed and harmonious. Stage fright is inevitable when meeting someone for the first time.If you are obsessed with your own abnormality, it will only increase your tension.In order not to let yourself fall into failure, I suggest that you might as well detach yourself from yourself and entertain others with an objective attitude.For example, when you say to someone self-deprecatingly: "I am a person with stage fright, my hands are shaking like alcohol poisoning." After you finish speaking, the hand may stop shaking.Because, the tension has been lifted with your self-deprecating. I believe that everyone has had this experience: when meeting someone for the first time, there are some scenes that you can usually handle freely, but no matter how hard you try, you can't get back the decline.The so-called "victory and defeat are commonplace in military affairs" means that a person cannot always be the winner, nor will he always be the loser.Optimists think that they succeed most of the time, while pessimists think that they lose nine out of ten battles.Indeed, smooth and sophisticated veterans sometimes stumble; people who think they are clumsy and unsociable will not suffer from "Waterloo" as they say, although "victory and defeat are commonplace in military affairs." We still have to work hard to improve the odds of success.Usually, optimists tend to affirm the status quo and deliberately turn a blind eye to failure; while pessimists tend to deny the status quo and make no positive evaluation of success.The performance of both types of people shows a single tendency of personality. In fact, a person’s personality is like a record with two sides. There is both an optimistic side and a pessimistic side; One of them retreats, while the other rises, forming a psychological imbalance.Here I suggest that before you meet someone for the first time, let the strong side and the cowardly side in your heart fight each other to strike a balance!Because when the cowardly party sensitively foresees the possible difficulties and says "I'm afraid there is no hope", the optimistic party will rely on several favorable circumstances and be sure to succeed: "No, it will definitely succeed!" After the battle between the strong and the weak, the strong side gives you courage and confidence, and the weak side reminds you to be careful and take precautions. The two sides supervise each other and complement each other. No matter how powerful your opponent is, why should you be afraid? A celebrity in the education field has a famous saying: "Everyone must have his own strengths, and with self-confidence, there will be no disadvantages." This sentence is called "the utility of self-confidence" in deep psychology. Once people feel uneasy, no matter what they do, they will easily fall into a low emotional state.Even if it's just a slight initial uneasiness when meeting someone for the first time, it will gradually magnify and eventually make people feel uneasy, so they cannot leave a good impression on the other party's mind.Worse, someone may unknowingly fall into a vicious cycle of insecurity that leads to a fear of human interaction. The antidote to this vicious cycle is self-confidence.Everyone must have advantages over others, even if they think they are insignificant, in order to help yourself build confidence, please think about it before meeting and list it! Most of the uneasiness that arose when we first met was due to groundless contempt for myself.If you find out the advantages over others before meeting, you can drive away the inferiority consciousness! Another method is, when getting along with others, find out what is better than the other party, and the anxiety can be eliminated unconsciously, and you can face the other party with confidence.For example, at a banquet, the other party's face flushed after drinking a glass of wine, "This person really can't drink, if it were me..." Confidence springs up immediately. In this way, not only will the vicious cycle of anxiety be eradicated, and the other party will be on an equal footing psychologically, and you will even feel superior to others! It is said that when the game is tight, the way players ease their nervousness is to think in their hearts: "When you are fighting hard, it is also the moment when the opponent is struggling." Some people may think that this is a purely spiritual victory, but we think this is a good way to overcome nervousness.Because once you have stage fright in a crisis, you will lose your chance of winning.If you think that when you are uneasy, it is also when the other party is embarrassed, at least psychologically you can make yourself invincible. Therefore, if you are stage fright when you first meet, please think about the players' self-psychological tactics!Even if the other party's social status, ability, family background, age, etc. have the upper hand and make you feel inferior, please don't forget that you always have something in common!That is to meet each other for the first time in the same way as each other. As far as this condition is concerned, it is 5:5 with the opponent, which is evenly divided.If you ignore this condition and keep being nervous and inferior, you may be controlled by others. Xiao Li, a fourth-year university student, is about to attend a job interview.The day before the interview, he walked into the advisor's office worried. Through the introduction of his brother and friend, Xiao Li got the interview opportunity of the company he yearned for as he wished, and the general manager of the company will have an interview with him tomorrow.Xiao Li had met with his brother's friend who worked in the company beforehand, and talked about his ambitions in a solemn yet stiff manner.However, the person who will meet tomorrow is the general manager of the company, and Xiao Li has unconcealable uneasiness on his face. The instructor tried to analyze and let Xiao Li understand the following truths.People are often intimidated by the status and title of people they don't know.In fact, status and titles are nothing but "clothes" on the outside!However, this layer of clothing often creates our psychological stress.If you take off this layer of appearance, you will still be naked!After understanding this truth, you can avoid unnecessary tension and be fearless of the other party's status and title.From then on, as everyone expected, Xiao Li was successfully hired by the company he yearned for. A friend is studying abroad and often has the opportunity to communicate with foreigners.Even though there is a language barrier, I can communicate with them happily by gesticulating, so I have made many good friends. He was surprised to find that it is not as easy as communicating with foreigners when communicating with natives who have the same language and living habits!This in the end is why?After thinking about it, he thought it might be due to a different mentality.When you were abroad, no one knew you, and you dared to do things that you would not normally dare to try in China, and you dared to do them boldly, thinking: "I only do this in this place!" I am more relaxed when interacting with people, anyway, "It's just this one time, I won't meet again next time!" This change of mentality helps to get rid of worries in the heart, so that people can settle down and be a good partner for entertaining others and themselves.We suggest that when you first meet a foreigner, you might as well have this "meet once" mentality, and believe that your communication will not really last "meet once". In order to get to know the other party you are meeting for the first time in advance, you can ask others for information about the other party.If this meeting is of great significance to you, then you should collect more information about the other party before the meeting.However, what attitude should we take to evaluate the information provided by the third party? Except for specific facts such as place of birth, experience, and family members, other subjective comments are not enough to be trusted.When someone is working as a psychological consultant, they find that the other party in the mouth of the third party is really different from the self in the other party's eyes.Therefore, it is true that you can get to know your opponent in advance by using the intelligence of a third party, which saves you the trouble of checking again. However, you must always warn yourself: Does this information contain personal bias?And distinguish in detail which is basic information and which is subjective opinion. It is also very interesting to discover the relationship between the third party and the other party in the intelligence obtained by the third party.For example, a mother came to a therapist with a child who refused to go to school.At this time, the image of the child described by the mother is not enough to be completely believed.However, the relationship between the mother and son can be seen from the mother's words. Similarly, when you ask a third party for information, please first understand what kind of relationship he has with the other party.In addition to inquiring about the specific facts you need, you might as well listen to a third party's evaluation of the other party. Perhaps everyone has had this experience: Although both parties in the conversation tried their best to continue the topic, the conversation was interrupted repeatedly, resulting in awkward situations.At this moment, the two couldn't help but suspect each other: Is the topic not arousing each other's interest?Are your words boring?Did the words offend the other person? The most convenient trick to save the embarrassment when the topic is suddenly interrupted is your unexpected small portable notepad.People often pay attention to the subtle actions of others and think about the meaning they represent.For example, the magician tells the audience that he will conjure a diamond ring.As the magician puts his hands in his pockets, everyone stares at him, trying to see through the trick.But to the disappointment of the audience, the magician just took out a handkerchief, wiped his face, and put it in his pocket.While putting the handkerchief in his pocket, he skillfully took out the diamond ring.The audience is easily "deceived" because no one pays special attention to the natural action of putting back the handkerchief.In the same way, if you can give meaning to this meaningless blank time during the interruption of the conversation-find something to cover it up, people will not be aware of its existence.Flipping through the information booklet or notepad around you can shift the feeling of time emptiness. You may be even more nervous when you meet a foreigner for the first time.One is that they feel uneasy because their language skills are being tested; the other is that they feel weak because the initiative of the conversation is controlled by the other party.Conversely, if the dominant power is held by one's own side, the content of the other party's conversation will be easy to understand, and there will be no tension. In the same way, when talking to native speakers, if you control the topic, your stress will naturally be reduced.However, if the initiative falls into the hands of others, the conversation cannot proceed smoothly under the constraints of others.If the other party has bad intentions and intentionally asks some sharp and difficult questions, wouldn’t you fall into the passive position of being beaten?At this time, most people are thinking hard about how to answer the question, but they don't know that they have fallen into the trap of the other party. In fact, this moment is when you fight back.You don't have to answer the other person's question directly; instead, you can ask relevant questions and ask the other person's opinion in turn.It is said that most of the veterans who are good at communication are good at using this "transition method" to ensure the dominance of the conversation. People can't help but slip up when they're talking.But a slip of the tongue during a high-stakes interview can be fatal.No matter what you say wrong, even if it is something innocuous, once you make a slip of the tongue, everyone's first reaction is to tell yourself "it's over." Instantly, the blood rushes to the forehead, and the words become even more confusing.This kind of situation, we call it "narrow vision caused by extreme tension", because I am so concerned about my gaffes, so I even turn a blind eye to things that I can see clearly when I am calm. At this moment, the worry in my heart is what the other party will think?And the more I want to forget my gaffe, the more I can't forget it.Psychologically speaking, in this case, it's better to think about something else!Here is an introduction to one of the methods in the book "Autosuggestion".It is said that when the famous Go player Hideyoshi Ishida thought he was "done" in the final, things unrelated to Go immediately appeared in his mind, such as golf, mahjong, or decorative flowers in the room, and he could feel peaceful in a short time , Restoring composure.You may wish to give it a try. A HR director who worked for an enterprise company said: "Students today are different from students of our generation! However, the tense appearance of going to the company for interviews has not changed at all." According to his description, many people deliberately want to relax, but they can't do it. Unknowingly, they are still nervous and stiff, their expressions are unnatural, and their words are getting faster and faster. In response to this problem, we would like to introduce a "slow method" for your reference.This method is to slow down your movements as much as possible, walk slowly, open doors, salute, and sit down.When speaking, always pay attention to whether the speed of your speaking is not in a hurry?Is it stable enough?Gradually, you regain your usual composure. This "slow method" is to forget the tension when you first meet by focusing on slowing down your movements. There is a famous story in Japanese history: In the last years of the Tokugawa shogunate, the high-spirited officers and soldiers, centered on Sacho, sent troops to attack the various countries.When they were about to capture Edo, the Tokugawa shogunate sent Katsu Kaishu to hold peace talks with Takamori Saigo, the official and military representative.At that time, there was a huge disparity in power between the two sides, and the officers and soldiers were like eagles flapping their wings, eyeing his prey, the shogunate.The poor Tokugawa shogunate saw the only fate of surrendering to the army. At that time, Katsu Kaishu, the representative of the shogunate, indeed participated in the negotiations with the feeling that he was bound to lose.Sheng Haizhou thought to himself, if the peace talks between the two parties break down and the government army invades Edo, the area around Edo will inevitably be burned and killed.Instead of waiting for the official army to invade, it is better to set fire to Edo first, so as to cut off the opponent's food and retreat.After making up his mind, he immediately sent people to various places to inform the people to do a good job of evacuating and asylum, so as to prevent innocent people from being burned to death in vain.This move reminds us of Napoleon's time, when Russia set fire to Moscow and put the French army in a desperate battle. After Sheng Haizhou was fully prepared for the failure of the peace talks, he went to negotiate with Xixiang Longsheng without fear.The result was unexpected, the two sides reconciled successfully, and Edo also avoided a disaster. In the face of unfavorable negotiations, you might as well learn to win the sea boat, arrange your retreat in advance, and go to the negotiation without hesitation, and you will be able to win the battle calmly and beautifully. We often hear that first impressions are the most important.According to the research report of social psychologists, people often evaluate a person's future knowledge and behavior based on the first impression.Therefore, a wrong first impression often negates the value of a person, and the person's subsequent performance often only strengthens the first impression, and does not help to change the impression. From the above mental state, we can know how important it is to leave a good first impression on the other party.After meeting, let the other party observe and judge you, and accept your first impression as a person, up to about 10 seconds.In other words, from the moment you meet the other person, spend 10 seconds successfully, and you have achieved your goal.Once the other party has a good impression of you, he will naturally be willing to associate with you in the future, and will always maintain a good impression of you in his heart. As long as you smile naturally and maintain a pleasant demeanor when you meet for the first time, I believe you will be able to leave a good first impression on others.