Chapter 55 TECHNIQUE 49. Use "we" early
Listening to two people chatting, within a short time, you can understand the relationship between the two people.You immediately know if they are new or old acquaintances.If it is a man and a woman, you can also guess whether they are strangers or couples.
How to judge?When people become more intimate, their conversations progress to different levels.They are as follows:
Stage 1: Old-fashioned
Two complete strangers are always exchanging clichés when talking to each other.For example, when talking about the weather, which is recognized as the most boring topic in the world, A says to B, "The weather is so nice, the sun is out," or "Wow, it's raining."This is the first stage, and it's all clichéd.
Phase Two: Describe the Facts
If two people are no more than nodding acquaintances, most of their conversation is describing facts. "Joe, did you know that it's rained twice as much this year as it did in all of last year" or "Yeah, we finally decided to dig a pool to cool off."
Phase 3: Feelings and personal issues
After the two became friends, they would often express their feelings to each other sensitively, even if it was such a boring topic as the weather. "George, I love sunny days." Of course, they also ask more personal questions: "What about you, Betty? Do you like sunny days too?"
Stage 4: "We" Expressions
Now we progress to the highest level of intimacy.This stage goes beyond the description of facts and talks about a higher level of identity than feelings.That is the "we" expression.At this point, friends say, "If the weather stays this good, we'll have a nice summer." Lovers say, "Hope God will keep the weather nice for us so we can swim when we travel. "
The communication skills of the "we" representation are based on this principle.This technique can promote intimacy in conversation.Although we don't know each other very well, we can still use the word "we" frequently.Use these two words to make the person you are talking to (whether a stranger or a client) see you as a friend.These two words can also make a future lover feel connected to you.When making small talk with people, skip stages 1 and 2 and start directly with stage 3.
Even if you've just met this person, you can build a sense of intimacy.When talking to people, skip stages 1 and 2 and go straight to stages 3 and 4.Cleverly using the word "we", the intimate relationship between the two is on the verge of breaking out!
What else do friends, lovers and work partners have in common?That is the shared past.Therefore, the last tip in this section is to teach you how to make new friends feel the kindness and warmth that you have known for many years.
Even if you've just met this person, you can build a sense of intimacy.When talking to people, skip stages 1 and 2 and go straight to stages 3 and 4.Cleverly using the word "we", the intimate relationship between the two is on the verge of breaking out!
What else do friends, lovers and work partners have in common?That is the shared past.Therefore, the last tip in this section is to teach you how to make new friends feel the kindness and warmth that you have known for many years.