Chapter 40 What kind of talent has expressive ability

To have the ability of alexithymia, that is, without "alexythymia", one must first learn to name one's feelings in the process of speaking. For example: a little girl got separated from her parents in the shopping mall. This is the first time she has been separated from her parents. She will be very scared and sad. While looking for her parents in a panic, she will even Cry and cry out loud. At this age, she may not understand what is afraid and what is sad. At this time, if her parents find her and ask her with concern: "Are you very scared?" or "Are you very sad?" Huh?" She will soon understand that those feelings just now are called fear and sadness, so she will gradually learn to name her feelings.

On the contrary, if her parents don't care about her inner feelings, but criticize her for being disobedient and running around, she misses an opportunity to name her feelings. If she never gets a chance to name her feelings, then she When I grow up, I don't know what my inner feelings are called, which forms alexithymia, and people with alexithymia are prone to encounter problems in emotional relationships. In addition, if parents often "express love" to their children, the children will gradually learn to express their inner feelings that have been named, and truly learn to "express love".

For a while, I had a lot of classes, and I was often exhausted when I came home, and I didn’t even have the strength to speak, and my son who hadn’t started kindergarten always wanted me to play with him when he saw me coming back , I also want to play with my son, but I am too tired, I want to rest for a while, and then play with him again. I said to him: "Son, Dad wants to play with you very much, but Dad has been lecturing for a day. He is really tired and hurts all over. Can you let Dad take a rest first, and then accompany you again?" play?" My son knows how to feel sorry for me, so he asked me to rest first and then play with him.

A few days later, after I came back from outside, I was lying on the sofa again. When my son saw it, he ran to the kitchen and said to his mother, "Mom, Mom, don't disturb Dad's rest." His mother asked him, "Why?" He said: "Because Dad is too tired!" Look, he has already learned to "express feelings" for me. This is how children learn to express feelings. Adults often express feelings to him and tell him their inner feelings, and he will imitate them. Some time later, in the winter, we were walking to a nearby mall and saw an elderly couple begging on the sidewalk. After giving them some change, we were leaving when my son asked me, "Daddy, Can you give them our house?"

I said, "Why?" He said, "Because I feel very sad to see them frozen!" Of course I did not promise my son to give the house to the old people, but I am very happy, because I saw that my son has already "expressed love", he told me that he is "very sad" and has expressed his inner feelings , although not a very precise word, but he learned it this way. People who can express love, this is how they learn to express love. Parents and other people around them often express love to them. They are influenced by the surrounding language environment and learn slowly. In this way, you can understand why some families have relationships for generations. The quotient is low, because in an environment with low emotional intelligence, it is difficult to grow a person with high emotional intelligence, unless you deliberately learn and practice the day after tomorrow.And it is also very necessary for us to learn and practice these abilities in the day after tomorrow, because these abilities will be passed on to future generations through the language environment.

This ability is an important ability that will be needed in life, especially in love relationships, because it is difficult for you to understand his true feelings for a lover who cannot express his inner feelings, and you will not know how to treat him.And once he tells you how he feels, you know how to treat him, and he becomes a very easy person to get along with, similarly, he will also feel that people around him are easy to get along with.