Chapter 39 Chapter 3 Saying It Feels Easy to Love: Expressing Love

We live in a society that is extremely incapable of expressing emotions. In our culture, people usually pursue a state of being a human being, that is, a person must have a city, and cannot easily express his feelings, let alone hang on his face. First of all, it is necessary to make emotions invisible. For example: I asked everyone in class, who is the smartest person in Chinese history in your mind?Many people would say Zhuge Liang. Yes, we have heard and seen too many stories about how smart Zhuge Liang is, so let me ask a simple question, who is Zhuge Liang? Many people will say that he is a military strategist, politician, and strategist. These are all nice to hear. In essence, he is the best strategist, or conspirator. This is the foundation of their family, or the basic skills.

In the past 5,000 years of Chinese history, many such people were worshiped by us, such as Jiang Ziya, Sun Bin, and Liu Bowen. He is a person admired by many modern people. Worshiping them will unconsciously learn from them, what to learn?Learn that their emotions are invisible. A boy once came to me for counseling. After I gave him an important consultation about emotional confusion, he asked me a question: "How can I keep what is going on in my heart from being seen?" I asked him, "Why do you pursue such a realm?" He said: "So mature!" He regards not being seen by others as a sign of maturity, and then strives to pursue it. This must be caused by the influence of some traditional ideas. You must know that in love, the invisibility of emotions is the natural enemy of love. This is exactly the opposite of what we need in an actual love relationship.

In a love relationship, we should deliberately learn to express our feelings, so that our lover can understand our true inner thoughts and feelings, instead of deliberately hiding them in our hearts from being seen, and then our lovers will know how to get along with us better, This boy's pursuit of so-called "maturity" may make him farther away from happiness. "Good Housewife" magazine once quoted a survey report in Austria: 94% of divorced people believe that misunderstandings caused by lack of communication are the main reason for the breakdown of their marriages.

This shows that communication is the most important thing in a love relationship. So, what should lovers communicate with each other? Of course, it is to understand each other's thoughts, feelings and some psychological needs, that is, to express feelings to each other, but the ability to express feelings is not born, but acquired. So what kind of person is easy to obtain a higher "expression" ability?And what kind of people are easily missing? To put it simply, in the process of learning to speak, if your parents often give you "empathy" and "expression", your expressive ability may be higher, and vice versa, it may be lower.