Chapter 34 Afraid of falling in love, prefer to fall in love

Another method of managing emotional buttons is actually not management, because it is to eliminate these emotional buttons, but this is also the most thorough method. For example: Some people have emotional buttons that are afraid of being denied. After marriage, it is very easy for his lover to control him. As long as he is denied a little, he will be furious. Such a person is also easy to interpret other people's words that do not have negative meaning as negative meaning, which makes them very angry. Most of the techniques in psychotherapy are used to deal with these problems, but the techniques of psychotherapy are mainly aimed at psychological disorders and diseases. If your emotional buttons are not serious enough to require psychotherapy, you It may not be necessary to seek professional help, but if it has affected your normal life and work, it is very necessary for you to see a psychological professional.

For example: it will often cause couples to quarrel! Affect the couple's sex life! Affect normal work! Affect normal social interaction! For those emotional buttons for which we don't need to seek professional help, the way you can respond is to challenge yourself, not to avoid it. What is a challenge? What you are afraid of doing, this is the challenge, and it is also a basic principle of eliminating emotional buttons. We all know to find a job that we like to do, so that you can combine work and hobbies. In life, what you should do usually can refer to your shortcomings.All your shortcomings, if you work hard to overcome them, you will no longer have such shortcomings, you will grow, and at the same time you can experience great joy of growth.

Negative emotional buttons are basically our weaknesses, so we have to face them.Challenge them. Like the husband who got emotional when his wife forced him to drink boiled water, when he realized that his emotions were actually because he had such an emotional button, he could deliberately overcome the emotions at that time and drink the water on purpose. After a few such efforts, this emotional button will fade away. If you are particularly afraid of being belittled by others, after you realize this characteristic, when someone belittles you, you will be aware of your emotions and say to yourself, this is my emotional button, not the fault of the other party, I want Overcome this characteristic of yourself, and slowly, you will become less sensitive to the belittling of others.

If looking into other people's eyes can cause your fear, it is very necessary for you to look into his eyes when others look at you, so that your fear will slowly disappear and grow. In the same way, if you have a fear of falling in love, it is very necessary for you to deliberately fall in love to eliminate your fear of falling in love. According to this method, once you discover what kind of emotional buttons you have, you can formulate a practice plan, which is also a growth plan, and then implement it. When you overcome one of your emotional buttons, you will eliminate one of your shortcomings, and at the same time develop a new characteristic. While overcoming your own shortcomings, you can enjoy the joy of growth. This is A very worthwhile thing to do.

After I realized that someone asked me "who told you what" was one of my emotional buttons, in addition to telling my wife that this was my emotional button and asking her to touch it as little as possible, someone unconsciously touched it. After encountering them, I will work hard to perceive my emotions, telling myself that this is my original emotion, not brought to me by the current person. After a period of time, when someone asks me like this again, I have no emotion. It is a pity that in life, people generally do not pay attention to these emotional buttons. Many people are usually controlled by these emotional buttons, avoiding these things automatically, and losing the opportunity to challenge themselves.Just like people who are afraid of being forced to drink will not drink, and will not have the opportunity to overcome their emotions; people who are afraid of being belittled will avoid those who belittle themselves or fight back, and will not have the opportunity to grow; they are afraid of looking into the eyes of others Some people will avoid the eyes of others, lose the opportunity to exercise themselves, and cannot overcome the fear of other people's eyes.

What can especially illustrate this problem is that some people who are afraid of singing will refuse when others ask them to sing a song. As a result, they will not get the opportunity to break through the obstacle of not being able to sing in public, and they will always be afraid of singing. The emotional button is a switch that allows others to control our emotions. Telling others that this is your emotional button is only a temporary method. Through this method, you get a time to grow. The most important thing is to challenge yourself to let such an emotional button Gradually fade in us so that you will grow stronger, your emotions will be more stable, and your life will be happier.