Chapter 29 If you love him, let him put his feet on the coffee table and watch TV

When we control others, others also control us, just like a mother and a baby, they control each other, they restrict each other, when the mother is unhappy, it will affect the baby, and when the baby is unhappy, it will also affect the mother. It is a symbiotic relationship. In the adult world, we should neither control others nor be controlled by others, don't let your emotions be affected by others, you have to make sure you are independent, you can live happily by yourself, and not controlled by others with. Only in this way can we enjoy a happy life and manage love well. So how do we manage this feeling of control?

the way is: We don't want to control others, including our lover. When he wants to do something pleasant for himself, if it doesn't hurt others, we try to give him a loose space and let him do it, because he will be happy if he does so. His happiness is sometimes more important than your correctness, because home is a place of love, so you should talk less about reason and correctness. for example: If you are a married lady, as soon as you get home, you will see your husband watching TV in the living room, but instead of sitting upright on the sofa watching TV, he is half lying on the sofa with his feet Put it on the coffee table.

Seeing this scene, if you speak correctly, he may not be correct, because the tea table is used to put food and tea, not to put your feet, and besides, he is sitting like this without looking good, how ugly! See, once you start thinking he's wrong, your emotions start to kick in, you feel angry, your control kicks in, and you're controlled by him, because he just puts his foot in the Just being on the coffee table can make you emotional. You will not be in a good mood for the day at all, and your emotional switch is on his feet. You have completely forgotten that home is a place to talk about love and a place to relax. We must sit well in the workplace and pay attention to our image in social situations. If we still have to look like the outside at home, what is the difference between home and the outside? ?

At home, love comes first, right comes second, and relaxation and happiness are the most important. Some social etiquette, those etiquettes invented by people to restrain others, sometimes have to stand aside. This, This book has emphasized many times that happiness is sometimes more important than being correct. If you really love him, allow him to put his feet on the coffee table and watch TV. Although he needs to clean the coffee table again, he is happy and feels that you love him. It is also worth it. Therefore, if you want to manage your own emotions caused by the desire to control, when you realize that you want to demand others by your standards, and when you want to control others, you want to use your correctness to suppress others. When you are happy, please let go of your standards and allow others to be happy.

Whether it is the person you meet in your life or your lover, you have no right to control him, nor do you have the obligation to educate him to behave correctly (except for your children), what you can do is to allow him to do what he likes way of life, as long as he does not harm you and others. In this way, when you let go of him, you also let go of yourself. He is no longer controlled by you, and you are no longer controlled by him. more.