Chapter 26 Control the desire to control, you will be happier

In the situation where we can have emotions, the previous section introduced how to manage the emotions caused by assumptions, and there are some redundant emotions that we need to manage. They may not be caused by assumptions, or even they are facts, but It will also affect our enjoyment of a happy life, and in love, they are often obstacles. for example: There was a female student who was very distressed. She and her husband had a small war almost every morning. The cause of the incident is very simple. She believes that drinking a glass of boiled water after waking up in the morning is beneficial to the body, so she drinks it every morning and asks her husband to drink a glass of boiled water after waking up.

But her husband is very uncooperative, unwilling to drink, and would rather sleep for a few more minutes. As a result, the question surrounding her husband every morning is whether to drink this glass of boiled water or sleep for a few more minutes. The two always quarrel. Both were late for work. When you have not eaten after getting up in the morning, drink a glass of boiled water first, which can clean up the toxins in the stomach and intestines, and then eat breakfast, which may be good for your body. Why do I say "may be good for the body", because the husband of this female classmate is unwilling to drink, and if in the end, against his wishes, he is made to drink the boiled water with grievance and anger because he does not want to quarrel with his wife , I can be sure that this is not good for the body, because when he drank the water, he also suppressed a lot of negative emotions deep in his heart. The damage to the body of these negative emotions may be far greater than that of a glass of boiled water. Toxins in the intestinal tract do harm to the body.

Here, I am not trying to teach you how to keep healthy, but I hope you can see that what this female student has done may be ineffective or even have negative effects in the end. She thinks that drinking water is good for her health, so she must make her husband drink it. If he doesn't drink it, she quarrels with him, even ignoring that doing so will affect the two of them going to work on time. What's wrong with her? The answer is very clear. She wants to control her husband, and she hopes that her husband will do things according to what she thinks is right. It is her desire to control that is at work. If she did it, she would immediately get emotional and very angry. Then, she was controlled by her own anger and had a quarrel with her husband.

Obviously, such emotions greatly affect their husband and wife relationship. It was originally an act for the health of the husband, but in the end because of being controlled by emotions, it may hurt the relationship. In severe cases, it may cause the husband to try hard to get rid of this control . Therefore, emotions like this are also very redundant. They have a negative impact on the relationship between husband and wife and need to be managed.