Chapter 24 What kind of story would you make up when a friend treats guests without a wallet?

People will make assumptions, the same thing, different people will make different assumptions, and different assumptions will bring about different emotions. What kind of emotions a person will have in the end is not directly caused by what happened, but more directly by what kind of assumptions the person made, that is, what version of the story he made up. For example: A friend is having dinner with you. He was originally a treat, but when he paid the bill, he said that he forgot to bring his wallet. At this time, there are many stories and assumptions you can make up, and different assumptions and different versions of the story will cause you to have different emotions towards him:

Of course, the "emotion" written in the above table is also my assumption, because different people may have different emotions. In fact, if I assume that others are testing me, I may be very calm, because this is what I allow. For things, I think your reaction may also be different. This is what I said earlier. Different people have different emotional reactions because of their different psychological characteristics. Since your emotions will be the same as others when facing the same thing, you cannot directly say that your emotions are the direct responsibility of the other party, but are ultimately caused by your own assumptions.

Let's go back to the matter of dating a new friend in a cafe. If you assume that he doesn't respect you, you will be angry; if you assume that his mobile phone is broken, you may not be angry, but you can understand him; if If you assume that his mobile phone is stolen by a thief, you will not be angry with him, you may be angry with the thief. So, you can't be mad at him until you don't know the truth, because you don't know whether your assumptions are true or not. Let's continue with the story above: You have a date with your friend in a cafe, you waited for him for twenty minutes, and he still hasn’t come, you think he doesn’t respect you enough, you are annoyed and ready to leave the cafe, when you push open the door of the cafe, ready When you left, you happened to meet him about to enter the door. At this time, you were controlled by your emotions, and you were angry and embarrassed and said to him: "Come?"

After finishing speaking, you rolled your eyes at him, and at the same time you stopped, waiting for his explanation. He told you that when he was eating at a restaurant at noon, he put his mobile phone on the table in the restaurant. When he was about to arrive at the cafe where you were dating, he found that his mobile phone was lost. Seeing that there was still extra time, he said Hurry back and find your phone. When he returned to the restaurant where he was eating, the staff of the restaurant said that he did not see his mobile phone. After adjusting the video of the restaurant, it turned out that it was taken away by a diner at another table, and the mobile phone was already turned off, and your phone The number is stored in his mobile phone, and he will not be able to contact you for a while, so he will not be able to notify you in advance if he is late.

After listening to what he said, you may regret your misunderstanding of him earlier, and even feel embarrassed. If the ending is like this, do you see if the emotion you had earlier was superfluous? If in a love relationship, a person always regards his own assumptions as facts, think about how many emotions he will have, for people who are emotional all day long, where is there any happiness to speak of?Besides, it is very easy to assume things between men and women. Many interpersonal misunderstandings in life are caused by such assumptions. These emotions are really primitive, irrational, and even redundant.

Therefore, we must learn to manage the emotions caused by assumptions, so that we can enjoy life more peacefully, instead of making up stories to anger ourselves.