Chapter 21 If you can't be the master of your emotions, you can't enjoy the beauty of love

Emotions are subconscious reminders to us. If you can understand its reminders, it will protect you well. If you can’t understand its reminders, you may be controlled by it and become a slave of emotions from the master of emotions. When an emotion prompts you, if you don't understand what it is prompting, its mission is not accomplished.It will not only remind you all the time, but may also continuously increase the strength of the reminder. When the emotional reminder is strong enough, long enough, and makes you feel uncomfortable enough, you may fall into this emotion and be trapped Emotional control.

For example, in the example of buying a house mentioned above, if you don’t make some preparations now to make you more able to afford a house, and if you don’t improve your girlfriend’s sense of security in the future, your anxiety will disappear in the short term. It will disappear, and you will feel this anxiety for a long time, and your whole body will be controlled by this emotion. You will not feel happiness and relaxation, and you will not be able to enjoy the beauty of love! After a long time, you may become very anxious, impatient in doing things, and in a bad mood all day long. At this time, the emotion of "anxiety" is laughable, because it overcomes you and completely controls you. its slave.

Of course, if you realize the subconscious prompts, you just say to yourself, if you can’t afford a house, you can’t afford it, and if your girlfriend doesn’t want to get married, then let’s talk about it later, or why you must get married Woolen cloth?Why do you even have to marry her? Anxiety will also disappear, because you are saying to the subconscious mind, I know your reminder, you don’t need to be anxious, I can live well without getting married, and I can accept marrying someone else, the subconscious mind knows that you can accept the future. It also makes the anxiety go away, which means you don't need its cue anymore.

Whether a person can understand what the subconscious mind is reminding himself through emotions, or is controlled by emotions for a long time and becomes a slave to emotions, is the standard of whether a person's psychological function is good or not, which also determines the quality of a person's life. A person who can understand subconscious prompts is a person who understands the guidance of the heart, and will do things according to the guidance of the heart, so as to make himself happier and happier. for example: Through fear, keep yourself away from danger, or improve your ability to overcome danger.

By worrying, knowing what you are doing now will be better in the future. Through regret, learn from the past, know how to avoid similar things from happening, and thus be wiser. Through the loss, start to reflect and know how to do it better next time. By being shy, you know you're not perfect, and you perfect yourself. In this way, people who follow the guidance of the heart and understand the reminders of the subconscious mind continue to make themselves better, stronger and stronger, and more and more happy. People who don't understand emotional prompts will be trapped in emotions, be captured by emotions, suffer from negative emotions, and become slaves to emotions.

I don't know what fear is prompting, so I live in fear for a long time. I don't know what worry is suggesting, so I have been troubled by worry. I don't know what regret is suggesting, so I have been tortured by regret. I don't know what the loss is suggesting, so I am immersed in the loss. I don't know what shyness is suggesting, so I become angry from embarrassment. People who don't understand what emotions are suggesting can't grow, but fall into emotions for a long time. Some of them may suffer from various mental diseases over time, such as depression, anxiety, etc., so they are completely defeated by emotions up.

If we can understand what the subconscious mind is prompting, we can do something to let the emotion complete the task, and the emotion protects us in this way. But some people’s subconscious is too numb, and their emotions don’t prompt when they should. This person will not be able to better adapt to life, and he will encounter a lot of troubles, such as: A person has no fear, and when facing danger, he will not be afraid, he will always be in a dangerous situation, and he is more likely to lose his life. If a person does not regret, he will not learn from what he has experienced in the past, and he will not be able to gain wisdom from his own life experience.

If a person does not worry, he will not make arrangements for the future in advance, and he will not be forward-looking in his work. There will always be problems in life, and he will only start to deal with them when they are critical. The subconscious mind does not remind us that we can’t do it, but emotions are primitive and irrational. We humans have evolved to a very advanced level. In many cases, our IQ has been able to protect us through careful logical reasoning and judgment. Emotions They are still protecting us in primitive ways, so if emotions remind us too much, or the strength of the reminder is too strong, it will also affect our enjoyment of a happy life.

Take "worry" as an example. If a person's subconscious mind is always reminded of something with a small actual probability, the person will also be in an emotional state for a long time, such as: Always worried about whether the food is unhygienic, I always worry that others will look down on me, I always worry about whether my lover will like someone else. We may say that such people are too suspicious and suspicious all day long. This is because the subconscious prompts are too detailed and frequent, that is to say, compared with those who have too few subconscious prompts, their subconscious Too many hints.

This will bring a lot of trouble to this person. Some psychological diseases such as phobias, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder are essentially too many reminders from the subconscious.Such a person has been in various painful emotions for a long time, is also controlled by emotions, and cannot feel happiness. Therefore, we need to manage our emotions and adjust ourselves so that the subconscious mind is not in a state of numbness and sensitivity. We also need to understand what the subconscious mind is reminding us through emotions, so that we can better follow the guidance of the heart. Come live and make your life happier without being a slave to your emotions.

In the later chapters of this part, we will begin to discuss some methods of emotional management. Following the methods introduced in the book, your emotional management ability can be improved in a short period of time. The experience of many of my students has confirmed this. Their After the ability to manage emotions improves, I feel happier.I also hope that by improving your emotional management ability, you can truly be the master of your emotions, enjoy the beauty of love life, and make your life happier and more perfect.