Chapter 12 People with the ability to love don't talk about "reason"

Here, I would like to tell you a secret, which is something that many people don’t know all their lives, that is, love has never been "reasonable", and home is not a place for "reasonable", people who have the ability to love There is no "reason" in love. Unreasonable in love? What are you going to say? Have you ever noticed a phenomenon?When a quarreling couple sits in front of you and asks you to judge them, it is difficult for you to tell which one is more reasonable, which is really in line with the old saying "the public is right, and the wife is right".

When I do counseling for some couples, I often find that two people are complaining to me about the other's faults, and it sounds like both of them have a point. A couple was arguing in front of me. Husband: "She's always wasting money!" Wife: "Why am I wasting money?" Husband: "You bought a lot of clothes and put them there without wearing them, but you still have to buy them. Isn't it enough to wear what you have?" Wife: "Although I have a lot of clothes in my closet, most of them are out of date! Women's clothing trends pass quickly, so you don't want me to go out in outdated clothes and embarrass myself?"

Husband: "Where is it outdated? There are a few that are quite new and fashionable. I saw someone wearing them on the street a few days ago!" Wife: "Some people will wear outdated clothes to the streets, but I don't!" Husband: "You! You just love to spend money recklessly..." Wife: "Where did I spend my money indiscriminately? You are not willing to spend it on me. You said that I wasted money indiscriminately. You spend as much money on smoking and drinking as I do..." In such a situation, even if I listened to it for several hours, I couldn’t judge who was more reasonable, and I also deeply knew that I couldn’t do this. The reason why they sat in front of me was because they talked too much about " "reasonable", and this is also the reason why they are unhappy together, and this is also the reason why many couples cannot get along well.

Because, the home has never been a place to talk about "reasons", and love has never been able to talk about "reasons". If you want to improve your ability to love, you must start to learn not to talk about "reasons". There is no "reason" in the family, and there is no "reason" in love, so what should we talk about?Of course, it is about "feeling" and "love".