Chapter 9 What are the five abilities of love

Love is a kind of ability, but not only one. Strictly speaking, the ability to love includes five specific abilities. With these five abilities, no matter who you live with, you will definitely be happier than before.The five abilities are: One of the abilities of love "emotional management": Everyone has to manage their emotions well to be able to love others.People who can't manage their emotions well often make the person they love very painful, easily miss the opportunity of love, and even hurt others. The second ability of love "expression": It's about expressing your needs, wants, and feelings in a way that doesn't hurt the relationship.The mistakes that people often make in expressing and communicating are either not expressing their emotions or needs, being stuffy in their hearts, forbearance, and breaking out when they can't help it, or they often express and communicate in the form of accusations and complaints.Forbear to hurt yourself, accuse and complain about hurting each other.

The third ability of love is "empathy": Understand and support each other, be considerate.This is the ability that almost everyone hopes that their lover can have, but many people don't have it. Many people are used to reasoning and educating each other, but they don't know that what the other person needs is empathy. The fourth ability of love is "allowing": Respect differences and allow growth.Quarrels and disagreements between lovers are often caused by not allowing the other party to be different from oneself, not allowing the other party to have some shortcomings, and wanting to control the other party or change the other party.

The five "influences" of the ability to love: Be yourself, and the other person will be better too.Everyone will change, and people in a love relationship will change because of each other. It can be said that if a person finds a different lover, he will become a different person. People may become better or worse. Okay, so, what can you do to make the other party better and better?This is the ability to influence. Each of the five abilities of love is important, and the five abilities influence each other.And the more basic the ability in the front, the worse the ability in the back will be if the foundation is not good.

for example: If a person can't manage his emotions well and loses his temper frequently, then he can't express and empathize. If a person does not know how to express love, he cannot influence the other party to a better and better state, because influence sometimes requires expressing love to achieve. If a person can't allow it, he can't empathize. He often wants to change the other party, so he can't positively influence the other party. In the second to sixth parts of this book, I will introduce the specific content of the five abilities of love and the methods of practice. Doing and practicing according to the methods in the book will definitely improve your ability of love quickly, and also It will make your life more and more happy.

There is a data that can illustrate this point. None of the people who got married after participating in the "Ability to Love" got divorced so far, and their divorce rate is currently zero.