Chapter 8 Without the ability to love, another person will not be happy

If it is said that the brother and sister are too close to make this classmate unhappy, then if this classmate leaves this husband and changes to a husband who does not have an unmarried younger sister who is very close to his brother, he will definitely be happy. Are you happy? Assuming she really found a husband who didn't have an unmarried sister, would there be no other problems in the family? My experience is that it is not necessarily true, maybe he has parents and a group of brothers and sisters in the countryside. Well, suppose she says she doesn't look for a man from the countryside, but only a man who grew up in the city. Maybe he has a group of good buddies, and he spends as much time with his buddies as he spends with his wife and children every week.

If he didn't have that many buddies, he might as well be a workaholic, often with a bunch of important clients to entertain. If he has no customers, he may be writing programs every day and has no time to talk to you. Or he is not a programmer, he may be a "trapeze" flying around the world all day. Maybe he doesn't have any of the previous problems, but he may have a bad temper. Don't think I'm generalizing a rare phenomenon, let me tell you the truth, the people mentioned above are people in my life. The one with a bad temper was my former upstairs neighbor. When we lived downstairs in his house, we could often appreciate his violent temper through the floor.

"Flying Man" is a business owner next door who travels all year round and rarely spends time with his family. A programmer is a good friend of mine. He always takes his work home, enters the study when he gets home, and starts programming on the computer. He rarely communicates with his family. It’s a buddy of mine who has been entertaining clients all day long. There is always a half-box of Moutai in the trunk of the car. Often when I call him, he is drinking. There is a group of buddies who is a former colleague of mine. This person is very popular. He is willing to help anyone who has difficulties. Everyone likes him very much. It is rare to see him at home, but he can be met everywhere. He is willing to help others , I like to be lively, but I just don't like to stay at home.

As for the one with parents living in the countryside and a group of brothers and sisters, that is the author of this book, himself, Zhao Yongjiu. My hometown is in the countryside, my mother has passed away, and my father has been living in the countryside for many years. In recent years, I moved to the city to live with my younger brother. My two older sisters are both in the countryside, and my younger brother has just settled in the city. Therefore, if I always want to help them, it is inevitable that I will share some of my love with them. As the saying goes: "Every family has its own scriptures that are difficult to recite." Every family has its own problems. Marriage with different people needs to face different problems. A life without problems is almost non-existent.

So, that sister-in-law, that is, my student, if she changes her husband, although she will not have the troubles of her younger sister, she will always have troubles in life, and she will encounter other troubles, just marrying a different husband , the troubles encountered are different. In fact, what she needs is not to change a husband, nor to continue living in such an unhappy way, but to develop her inner ability to love, and a happy life will come. If she doesn't develop the ability to love herself, and still doesn't allow others, even if she changes her lover, she will still encounter problems, still don't know how to solve these problems, and will still not be happy.