Chapter 7 Pain often comes from a lack of ability to love

In my class, I often encounter students who helplessly tell me their pain in love. In fact, the reasons are all related to the lack of love ability. There was a female student whose pain came from her husband's younger sister, that is, her mother-in-law. My mother-in-law and sister are in their thirties and unmarried. Relatives and friends have introduced her to a partner many times, but they have never been successful.He still lives with his brother and sister-in-law. The younger sister lives at home, eats and uses the family's food, but does not share the living expenses with the family, and uses all the money she earns for her own enjoyment.

The biggest pain is not the issue of money. My younger sister and my elder brother have a very good relationship. During meals, my elder brother often picks up food for my younger sister, and my younger sister fills my elder brother with food. In my spare time, my elder brother and younger sister often sit on the sofa and chat happily. The sister-in-law is left alone, so the sister-in-law often feels that her brother and sister are like "husband and wife", and she is like an outsider. For this reason, their husband and wife always quarreled, and she felt very unhappy, so she considered whether to separate.

She feels that this is not the marriage and family life she wants. The family she yearns for is that she and her husband can have an independent space. She hopes that her husband and sister will not be so close. Her husband should be closer to herself, and her sister should rent a house by herself. . This student's marriage is not happy. In her opinion, it is because her husband and sister are too close. If they are not so close, she will be happier. If the closeness between her husband and sister cannot be changed, she thinks that they may separate It would be better, because this is not the life she wants.

If we focus on the intimacy between brother and sister, maybe we will support this female classmate, and we will say that it is obviously wrong with her husband and sister-in-law!Brother and sister are married, siblings can't be so close, they need to take care of sister-in-law's feelings, see how logical it all is, how reasonable is sister-in-law. However, if it is said that the closeness of brothers and sisters is really the reason for sister-in-law's unhappiness, then they will be wronged, because sister-in-law's unhappiness is caused by her lack of ability to love.