Chapter 17 give up and rebirth

The last point mentioned above, that is, giving up the self and life itself, seems too cruel, and it seems to be enough to prove a conclusion: "the world is not benevolent, and everything is a straw dog." Because of the cruelty of reality, we feel that no matter how hard we try, the life of life meaning will be lost.Western culture emphasizes that "man will conquer nature", self-worth is higher than heaven and earth, and death is unacceptable and a great shame. No wonder some people think hard about the art of immortality, but dare not face the reality that cannot be changed.In fact, human beings can appreciate the joy of life only when they give up their ego properly.

The meaning of life lies precisely in the reality of "death", which is the core of philosophy and religion. Abandoning ourselves is a long-term and gradual adaptation process, and we need to experience all kinds of pain.To reduce suffering, we need to learn an all-important balancing mental skill, which I call inclusion.It is an indispensable tool for promoting mental maturity.Being inclusive means both affirming the ego to maintain stability and letting go of the ego to make room for new ideas and concepts to achieve self-balance.In this regard, the theologian Sam Keene described it aptly in his book "To the God of Dancing": I must go beyond everything that exists, beyond the concept of self-centeredness.Mature understanding can only be obtained by eliminating prejudices generated by personal experience.This process involves two steps: eliminating the familiar past and pursuing the fresh future.In the face of unfamiliar people, things, and things, I need to let my past experience, current needs, and future expectations attend together, and jointly "consult" to evaluate my needs and reality, and make appropriate judgments and decisions .In order to experience the uniqueness of new things, I must use an all-inclusive attitude to persuade the existing prejudices and concepts to temporarily give way, allowing strange and novel things to enter the sensory world.During this process, I must do my best to present a mature self, an honest attitude, and great courage as much as possible. Otherwise, every minute and every second of life will be a repetition of past experiences.In order to experience the uniqueness and newness of all people, things, things, I have to let them enter my soul and stay and take root.I had to let go of myself completely, even at the expense of completely destroying my old self.

The premise of being inclusive is that you will always gain more than you give up.Self-discipline is a process of self-improvement, in which one must experience the pain of giving up, which is as severe as facing death.But, as is the nature of death, the old dies and the new is born.The pain of death is the pain of birth, and the pain of birth is the pain of death.Life and death are like two sides of a coin.To establish new concepts and theories, old concepts and theories must die.Poet Eliot (1888-1965, British poet, playwright and literary critic) at the end of the poem "The Journey of the Wise Men", described the pain of the three wise men who converted to Christianity and gave up their past beliefs: I remember that everything happened far away the past

I have to go through it again, no turning back ——No hesitation we were taken all the way Or for a living?Or for death?No, there's no death, only life I've seen life and death: we needn't doubt it, we've got ample evidence they're so different it's frightening Like death, new birth brings us pain We return to our place, to the land of the soul Follow the way of heaven in the past, let us no longer be comfortable and happy Gentiles cling to their gods, praying for eternal life And I'd love to die again -- without hesitation Since life and death are just two sides of the same coin, we may think about the concept of reincarnation in Western culture. For example, after death, is there really an afterlife?Will physical death lead us into a new reincarnation?This is always a mystery to us, but the essence of life is indeed a process of life and death.More than two thousand years ago, the ancient Roman philosopher Seneca said: "Life is constantly learning to live, and life is constantly learning to die." In his opinion, the longer a person lives, the more life and death he experiences , at the same time, will experience more joy and greater pain.

Is it possible, then, to avoid psychic suffering altogether?Or, can we minimize the pain of the heart?The answer is both yes and no.To say it is affirmative means: to accept the pain completely, in a sense the pain ceases to exist. Through growth and self-discipline, we can enhance our ability to tolerate spirituality and approach perfection.Those problems that are regarded as huge in the eyes of children may be solved in our hands, and the pain will no longer be pain at this time.What's more, most mature people have love beyond ordinary people.Love can make them feel more joy and less pain.

On the other hand, the answer is no.The world needs capable people, and the best candidates are those with a mature mind. They have strong inner strength and can make various decisions.Making decisions in a state of omniscience and omnipotence is far more painful than in a state of half-knowledge.For example, two generals each lead 10,000 soldiers to fight. In the eyes of one general, 10,000 soldiers are just strategic tools, while in the eyes of the other general, soldiers are not just tools for combat. Each is an independent life, a member of the family. So in the face of life and death, which general is easier to make a decision?Maybe you think that a person with a mature mind will never become the general in front of him.

But obviously the answer is the former, since he doesn't have to suffer the pain that mature people go through.A situation similar to the above can also happen to business owners, doctors, teachers, and parents. Everyone may encounter opportunities and make choices that affect their lives.But people who make decisions easily don't mean they're the best decision makers.The best decision makers are those who are willing to suffer the pain of their decisions without compromising their ability to make them. Whether a person is outstanding and great depends on his ability to bear pain. Excellence and greatness themselves will also bring joy and happiness to people——

On the surface this is a paradox, but it is not.Devout Buddhists often forget the pain of Sakyamuni's catastrophe, and Christians often ignore the happiness of Jesus in helping the world.The pain of Jesus’ death on the cross and the happiness of Sakyamuni’s Nirvana under the bodhi tree are not much different in essence. They are also two sides of the same coin. If the goal of life is to avoid suffering, you can just get by without seeking higher spiritual and conscious advancement.For the transcendence of the soul cannot be achieved without suffering and torment.Moreover, even if you reach a very high spiritual level, the pain at that time may far exceed your imagination, making it unbearable for you in the end. "If this is the case, why should everyone pursue the development of self-spirituality?" You may ask.Frankly speaking, asking such a question may be because you know little about the essence of happiness. Perhaps you can find the answer between the lines in this book; perhaps no matter how hard you try, you will miss the final answer.

On the nature of balance and renunciation, I would add this: In order to renounce, one must first have something.You can't let go of something you never had.This is similar to wanting to give up the victory before winning, which is completely out of the question.In the same way, you must first establish yourself before you can give up yourself.A large number of people are unable to grow spiritually because they lack the desire to practice and are afraid of painful feelings.They believe they can achieve something, but they don't want to suffer for it.In order to achieve a higher level of spirituality, some people even go to the desert to live in seclusion, or give up suitable occupations to learn carpentry. They think that through superficial imitation, they can take a shortcut and reach an extraordinary spiritual level.They don't realize that for a long time, they have been stuck in a naive stage of spiritual growth. The only shortcut is to start from scratch and exercise self-discipline, just as they have to go through the indispensable stages of adolescence, youth and middle age.

Self-discipline includes four life principles with positive meaning, and the goal is to solve problems, not avoid pain.Taken together, the four principles include: delaying gratification, taking responsibility, respecting facts, and maintaining balance.These four principles interact, and sometimes it is necessary to use two, three or even all of them. The strength and dynamics of using them all depend on the love in one's heart.Some people may ask: "Can biological feedback, meditation, yoga, and psychoanalysis also be counted as part of self-discipline?" They only have auxiliary functions, not essential functions.True self-discipline is still the four principles I mentioned above.With consistent practice, anyone can achieve a higher level of spiritual, psychological and soul.