Chapter 16 The value of depression

For those who have the courage to admit that they have a mental illness, giving up is a necessary step in their success.In psychotherapy, patients often have to experience many times of abandonment, and they experience major changes, even more than the average person's lifetime changes.They have to give up an equal proportion of their "past selves" within a short period of time.This abandonment actually begins before the patient's first meeting with the therapist.For example, when a person receives psychotherapy, it means that he or she needs to give up the self-image of "I am normal".In our cultural tradition, this may be especially difficult for men. Admitting "I am not normal, I need the help of a doctor" and understanding "why I am not normal and how to become normal" is tantamount to admitting "I am Vulnerable immature man", so the process of giving up often begins before the patient seeks medical attention.I once felt extremely depressed after giving up my desire to win forever.It is certainly painful to give up something dear to you—at least something you are familiar with, but it is only when you give up your past self that you mature your mind.Feeling depressed because of giving up is a natural and healthy phenomenon. It is unnatural and unhealthy only when giving up is interfered by some kind of force.The process of giving up cannot take place, and the depressed state of mind persists until the mind finds a way out.

Many people see a psychiatrist mainly because they are too depressed.Before receiving psychotherapy, their hearts began the process of giving up, and the difficulties encountered in this process made them have to seek help from a psychiatrist.Psychologists need to help them find breakthroughs and remove obstacles that cause problems.However, the patient only longs to get rid of the depressed state, but does not realize that the old self is no longer adapted to the new situation.Patients complain, "I don't understand, why am I feeling down?" Sometimes they attribute their depressed state to other unrelated factors.On a conscious level, they are reluctant to admit that their old selves and patterns of being around the world are in dire need of adjustments and changes.They also don't realize that depression is a tell-tale sign that adapting to a new situation requires major changes.Their subconscious desires to face the truth, and on a subconscious level, the process of letting go and growing has begun.The subconscious mind always precedes the conscious mind—this may be difficult for some readers to understand, but it is true, and it applies to the treatment of certain special cases, as well as to the basic principles of psychotherapy (this book will be discussed later).

The "midlife crisis" that people often talk about is one of the many crises in life. Thirty years ago, psychologist Eric Erickson listed eight crises in life.At each stage of life, there will be various crises. Only by giving up the outdated concepts and habits of the past can we enter the next stage of life smoothly.Many people dare not face the reality, or cannot let go of the outdated past, so that they cannot overcome the psychological crisis and spiritual crisis, so they can only stand still.We might as well sum it up simply in accordance with the chronological order of life crises: the illusion of omnipotence in the imagination of infants without too much consideration of external requirements

Desire to possess (including sexually) father or mother (or both) Childhood dependency distorted image of parents The adolescent feeling of having unlimited potential unfettered freedom Dexterity and vitality in youth youthful sexual attraction illusion of immortality authority over children various temporary powers Physical Independence self and life itself Generally speaking, these crises are the living environment, personal desires and attitudes that we must give up in our mature life.