Chapter 35 Section 3 The FBI tells you to praise and walk with sincerity

FBI expert James said: "The deepest desire of human nature is to be appreciated by others. This is what makes human beings different from animals." praise and respect. Praise can produce miracles. Praise and expectation have a kind of extraordinary energy, which can change a person's behavior and thinking, and stimulate people's potential.After a person gets the trust and praise of others, he will become more confident and self-esteem, thus gaining a positive driving force.In order not to disappoint the other party, he will work harder to maximize his advantages and try his best to meet the other party's expectations.On the contrary, if the other party conveys a negative expectation, it will make him abandon himself and develop towards the negative side.Therefore, praise is also one of the psychological attack techniques of FBI agents.

James believes that if language is only for communication, then praise is the harmonious note in language.Add compliments and your words will sound more engaging and receptive.But since it's a compliment, don't be stingy with your sincerity. Insincere or careless praise will not make people feel the slightest pleasure, but will make people feel disgusted, which is a taboo in the social field. A gardener who often comes to Autumn's house to trim and beautify the manor.Once, he went to Autumn's house to repair the garden as a routine, and it happened that Autumn was at home on vacation that day. Therefore, Autumn talked happily with the gardener, and at the same time put forward many good suggestions for the beautification of the manor.

The knowledgeable Autumn is not only a master in the industry, but also very good at flower garden management, which makes the gardener admire him very much.So the gardener praised sincerely: "Mr. Autumn, I didn't expect that you are not only proficient in business, but also proficient in flower garden management. And your lovely dog, it is simply beautiful, the most beautiful I have ever seen A dog, and I know you've won quite a few blue ribbons at the annual House Dog Awards at Madison Square Garden." The dog was Autumn's pet dog, which he adored, and co-workers raved about his dog.However, he couldn't hear any sincerity there, and praise was often the prelude before they asked him to do something.However, the gardener is different. Autumn used his years of professional experience to see the sincerity in his eyes and heard that he is also a dog lover.So, he quickly replied: "Yes, yes, the fun of raising a dog is endless. If you are interested, I can show you around my kennel."

For nearly an hour, Autumn talked about his dog, and the gardener listened intently.Finally, Autumn asked, "Do you have any children?" "Yes, I have a 5-year-old son." Autumn asked again, "Does he like puppies?" "Of course, he likes them very much, and I Promise him that on his 6th birthday, he will give him a beautiful puppy," said the gardener. "Oh, then I can fulfill his wish and give him a cute puppy." The gardener couldn't believe his ears: "I think he will be very happy." The gardener said emotionally.Since then, Autumn has talked with the gardener about dogs whenever he has time, and they have become good friends!

Everyone loves to hear compliments, but not all compliments are pleasant to listen to.Although it is said that compliments are a common means used by people in communication, if your compliments are not sincere enough, the purpose of communication will also not be achieved.Therefore, since it is a compliment, don't begrudge your sincerity! In the end, James said that people’s emotions are complex and changeable, just like the waves of the sea, with ups and downs: when they are happy, they feel like a spring breeze; when they are depressed, they feel sad; If we can use the method of praise to control these emotions, we will be able to do well in interpersonal communication.

If others are indifferent to your praise, then it can only show that your praise is not sincere enough. "As far as sincerity is concerned, gold and stone are opened", sincere praise also has the magic power to move the soul.