Chapter 35 7.Moderate people and the world don't create tension

Personality Type: Gentle Comprehensive psychological strength index: ★★★★ Typical character: Hu Yinmeng Personality Traits: Reconciliation between self and world In this anxious, impetuous and violent era, people with mild personalities seem to have unique functions.For those who are impatient, they say, slow down; for those who are crazy about money, they say, contentment; When others think that the world is deteriorating at an accelerated rate and life is about to fall into the abyss of eternal doom, moderate people remain calm.I can't see them sinking madly together, nor can I see them take a little action against reality.They are friendly to the world, and of course, indifferent.

The world seems to be unable to catch any of their emotions.They don't seem to be psychologically invested in the world. You may ask this question: Are mild people psychologically strong? Compared with other personality types, mild people have generally surpassed the childhood stage psychologically, become more mature than others, and conform to the laws of society and nature.But there are also some mild people who are still psychologically attached to their childhood psychological environment.Their gentle nature is just a natural extension of their childhood environment when they grow up.

There are two kinds of people who are easy to form a mild personality. ①Living in a stable family since childhood.Although this kind of family is not necessarily rich, it is considered to have no worries about food and clothing. Parents do not often put on a face of anger, anxiety, fear, or sadness in front of their children.What is particularly important is that parents have a stable relationship, neither have strict requirements on their children, nor let them go, and do not deliberately shape their children's ego according to their own will, but at the same time form an emotional support for the formation of their children's ego system.

A child who grows up in such a family can often experience a sense of security. If he has no experience of being bullied by outsiders, this sense of security will often expand into an experience of his sense of security in front of the world.Because of the smoothness of life, when his self was formed, he did not form tension with the world, nor did he need to highlight himself in front of the world.The world is kind to him. ②The other is that they have experienced some twists and turns in the process of growing up, and feel anxious and helpless in front of the world.However, he suppressed his various desires for the world, rationalized everything he encountered, and regarded them as an inevitable part of society and life, which he could not force.Over time, he has gradually learned to maintain peace of mind in front of the world and adapted to the world.

There is a kind of person who looks very similar to the second kind of person, and is also very gentle towards this world.They also seem to have no desires or desires for the world, and there is no tension between the self and the world.They are the "rarely confused" and "optimistic people" that we have seen too much. So, do they belong to the moderate personality? Absolutely not!This kind of person is not a gentle person, but a kind of self-repression of the inferiority, aggressive, possessive and other personalities after experiencing major setbacks.The situation is that after something happened and their hearts were torn apart, based on the need for psychological survival, they "really realized" and retreated from the world to their hearts.They are no longer interested in many things in the world, and they instinctively resist those things that may make them psychologically unable to survive.For them, the world is full of dangers and stormy waves, and the more desires they have, the more they will get involved.They boast that they "have no desires and no desires", and if they have no desires and no desires, of course they can maintain peace of mind.They know this well: if you don't think about it, you don't have trouble.

Here I want to emphasize that the vast majority of moderate people are kind people in this society.If I were to make another assertion, I would say that in our society, the kindest people are the moderate type and the inferiority type. These two personalities account for the vast majority of the kind-hearted people in our society. Because the self and the world do not constitute tension, mild people have fewer psychological problems than people with other personalities, and even if they do, they will self-adjust.In our society, there are a lot of perverts, but you can't find a few mild people.

But there are gains and losses.Moderate people do not see the world as a source of danger, as a feast, as a stage for performances, and do not possess scarce resources and strong desires to stand out, which naturally leads to It is often difficult for them to achieve outstanding achievements in a certain field.They are essentially lifestyle, not career. Moderate people tend to be easy-going and humble when interacting with others.Exaggeration and exaggeration are not in their personality.Their voices are never exaggerated, they keep smiling, or their expressions are calm.Their eyes do not see any emotions and desires, and you feel that they are safe in the world, and you are safe in their presence.

In the moderate type of people, you can't see what they are eager to possess, they can't find the attitude of playing with life, and they can't see any ideals and specific lifestyles.They are just a gentle animal.