Chapter 30 2.Many things people with low self-esteem do have only one deep motivation: to overcome low self-esteem

Personality type: low self-esteem Average psychological strength index: ★★★ Typical character: Napoleon Personality traits: There is only one deep motivation for doing many things - to overcome inferiority complex. Man is essentially an inferior animal, a mortal body, not as perfect as nature.People feel small and fragile in this world. People have low self-esteem more or less, but some people's low self-esteem is not the same.Others feel inferior in front of a high-end person, but his inferiority is a kind of psychological motivation.Many of the things he did, from a deep motivation point of view, are to overcome inferiority complex, which is character inferiority complex.

Inferiority people tend to show two extremes in real life, either timid and wretched; or infinite fanaticism, it seems that he can save the common people and change the world.The former are honest people, the latter are fanatics. Don't think that only the poor have low self-esteem.It is true that a rich man can be crazy in front of people with less money than him, but in front of people with more money than him, in front of the world beyond his control, his inferiority complex character is immediately activated, and he immediately becomes a grandson. Social status can make people feel inferior, as can physical defects.A person who is too short, too ugly, or has obvious physical defects can also easily make him feel inferior, because these defects are easy to be ridiculed by people and devalue a person's existence value.

There are also people who hide deep inferiority complex.But you can tell by looking straight into his eyes.If he and you look at each other for no more than three seconds, or dare not look at each other, you can judge with 80% certainty that he has a low self-esteem in character.This kind of people usually pretends very well, but they have a common feature: they have certain psychological trauma when they were young or in the process of growing up. People with a strong inferiority complex are very easy to spot.At one extreme, his eyes are evasive, he is afraid to look directly at others, he rarely speaks, and he answers when you ask a question, and he smiles unnaturally.He is especially unable to adapt to various occasions that require performance, always appearing overly restrained, wishing to escape immediately from the occasion that made his ego extremely uncomfortable.

At the other extreme, he speaks impassionedly, talking about the big topics he's good at with no regard for others' feelings.When talking about these topics, instead of a confident light in his eyes, there was a trace of fear.When you are in a relationship with him, he is very excitable, and it is very easy to take a glance at him as you despise him, and take a word of compliment from you as satirizing him. People with weak inferiority complexes are relatively difficult to identify.But it is not impossible. People with weak inferiority complex are not much different from ordinary people in other respects.But he only didn't show it when life was going well.Once he suffers setbacks, even if these setbacks are not serious, he will also have a serious sense of frustration. His mantra is "I can't do it", "I'm finished", "I can't make it".When the blow is severe, he will show symptoms of depression and self-abandonment for a period of time.His emotions are easily provoked by others, and he is prone to wandering between fear and anger, but most of them are fear.

If man is an animal, the possessive person is a dog, and the inferior person is a hodgepodge of animals, they may be tigers, sheep or cockroaches. Combination: low self-esteem character + eager to possess = pervert or struggler Desire to possess power, money, and beauty are the most obvious characteristics of possessive personalities.Of course, that's not to say that other personality types don't want to be possessive.Unless one is very eccentric, everyone likes this one. Possessive people basically use the possession of scarce resources as their success criteria, but people with other personality types do not only use these things as their success criteria in life.They have other pursuits.It can be said that possessive people are pure vulgarity, while people with other personality types are not necessarily.

Affected by social values, they want to possess a lot of good things, but they have low self-esteem in character (not daring to possess or succumb to the order of social values). People who have these two points at the same time are either a pervert or a struggler. By.The former is a bit like Zheng Minsheng, while the latter is a lot like "Phoenix Man". The difference between them lies in whether they have the conditions to achieve their goals in the foreseeable future.The situation is different, they will adopt different behavioral strategies, and end up looking like two different types of people.

In fact, they are indeed two different types of people. We know that in order to pursue psychological survival, possessive people must possess a lot of things to feel that they are valuable.The greatest desire of the inferior type of person is to eliminate inferiority complex and reflect his existence value and dignity in this world, so he does not have to take the method of possessing many things.However, once he agrees with the secular values, he believes that only by possessing power, money, and beauty can he prove his worth, especially if he agrees with such a value: things that cannot be exchanged for money have never had value, then, According to his low self-esteem character, there are two choices.

One option is: if he does not have the ability and conditions to possess these things, he will activate psychological defenses to separate himself from such things as power, money, and beauty.This kind of person usually lives very useless, but he has always had the urge to peek at power, money and beauty, but he hides these desires in front of others. Another option is: If a person expects that he has the ability and conditions to obtain these things, he will desperately strive for them.He's going to throw himself into it, imagining that one day he can have these things.In doing so, this type of person may appear even fanatical than the possessive type (who is always calm), appearing more like a neurotic possessive.They may even be unscrupulous.

Combination: Have some kind of ideal + low self-esteem personality = destroyer or thinker Strange to say, people with low self-esteem look far less pleasing to the eye than people with other personality types, but it is precisely this kind of people who change the world.And people with possessive personality, except for a group of business elites, most of them are mediocre. It is extremely stupid to ignore the inferiority type.Whether they are engaged in destruction or creation, their energy is amazing, beyond the imagination of many people. Fromm, the master of psychoanalysis, once deeply analyzed Hitler's psychology.This person, who is regarded as the biggest "devil" in human history, was obsessed with inferiority complex since he was a child due to family reasons.When he was wandering on the streets of Vienna, he was even more stared at by others and tortured by hunger.In order to overcome his inferiority complex, he imagined that he could be a painter and an architect.Undoubtedly, this type of career can give a person a sense of creating or changing the world.

Eventually he found he couldn't do it, so he projected himself into a powerful German nation.In this way, he disappeared personally, and the strength of the nation represented his strength.And the humiliation of the German nation in World War I was like the humiliation of Hitler in his youth.As he gained power in Germany, he not only fully integrated himself into the powerful German nation in terms of psychological structure, but also fully integrated the German nation into his own psychological structure. Nowhere is this more evident than in Hitler's speech to the SS: "You exist by my being, and I exist by your being."

What a philosophical statement! Hitler was a typical example of the low self-esteem type turned into a destroyer.But don't be discouraged, Freud, the master psychoanalyst, was also an inferiority complex. It is not surprising that a person who fundamentally changed the knowledge horizon of mankind is an inferiority type person.We can also cite countless examples: Schopenhauer, Rousseau, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Kant... How much darker the starry sky of the human mind would be without these people! Combination: Possess a unique way of life + low self-esteem = "Weird" People with low self-esteem have a characteristic psychologically, they are unwilling to join in crowded and lively places.For them to show their faces frequently in crowded places, there must be a prerequisite, that is, they are the center, and they can control the situation and respond to everyone.It must be very frustrating and uncomfortable if he was just watching the show as a spectator in that kind of place.In this case, they will choose to flee. People with a certain ideal inferiority complex look down on ordinary people.They see the masses as calculating, superficial, unideal, and vulgar.They often have intelligence beyond ordinary people and have a great ambition to change human society.In their heads, they insist on living in a world different from the rest of the population. However, there is a clear dividing line here.An inferiority-type person wants to transcend inferiority complex, either by mastering a certain power and destroying the things that make him feel inferior, or by grasping the universe in thought and surpassing the things that make him feel inferior.This is the difference between Hitler and Kant. An inferior person who has a unique way of life is not interested in the way of life that the public is passionate about, because these ways of life cannot allow him to find himself, and his self can only be submerged.He needs to open up another territory for himself.In this realm, he is God. Such people are often obsessed with a specific matter, or painting, or woodworking, or music, and so on.They may or may not accomplish anything.But they generally ignore public opinion.Even, in order to achieve the effect of psychological defense, they also show the characteristics of being extremely indifferent to other affairs in secular life. Combination: low self-esteem character + identification with fate = "honest man" The vast majority of people with low self-esteem succumb to the social value order. He will either destroy the world that has brought him endless humiliation, or want to overcome this world ideologically, or simply choose to withdraw from this world.If he can't do all of these, there is no way. In order to protect himself psychologically, he will agree with his fate, choose to "obey the rules" and endless silence, and dare not act rashly. In real life, we often find some taciturn people, who are generally inferior and cold-blooded.For the former, it's not that they have nothing to say to the world, but that they don't want the world to hear what they said.As for the latter, they don't want to talk to the world at all, they are in the dark, and the world is in the light. Psychologically, they can launch a sudden attack on the world, but the world cannot attack them. It feels very cool. As an actor, one is exposed to the world. There may be countless smiling faces in front of him, but there may also be murderous intentions everywhere.But just being a spectator, there is no psychological danger of being attacked by people hiding in the dark.For an inferior person who has no chance to change his destiny, and for a cold-blooded person, it is much safer to just be a spectator. I want to emphasize that the so-called "honest people" are only honest in appearance, not psychologically.In other words, they have no chance to be dishonest, so they dare not be dishonest.They may also want to possess money, beauties, and murder and set fire to prove their existence value and overcome their inferiority complex.But they have no chance, no conditions, no ability.They must suppress these dangerous thoughts and become disenchanted in character to protect their precarious life. If conditions permit, opportunity permits, and society forms a trend, honest people with low self-esteem will jump up, utter a terrible roar under the call of a certain banner, and instantly change their character, from an honest person to a greedy one. Vicious thugs, or valiant warriors.In such a situation, they overcome their inferiority complex and become the masters of fate and the world, and they can do whatever they want.And only by indulging to their heart's content can they have the feeling of stepping on the things that make them feel inferior psychologically. Every revolution, every social movement, always attracts countless inferior people at the beginning, and a beautiful slogan, a partial success, and a blueprint for victory can sweep them away. Combination: low self-esteem character + game life = indifferent or cynical Game life is a mental disease of a person.People who play the game of life have no ideals, and all morality in the world is ridiculed by them.They just take pleasure in playing with all serious things.The combination of this kind of value concept and any kind of personality makes a person not a good bird.He is not necessarily a villain, but he must be a spiritually depraved person. People who play in their lives have an obvious characteristic: selfishness and lack of love.But for a person with low self-esteem, it starts from this point: feeling the world crushing and destroying him. He thinks he has seen through people and the world.The people and the world he comes into contact with may all be depraved.So he imagined and convinced himself that all people, the whole world, were like this. He wants to play with the world. Only in this way can he overcome his inferiority complex, take revenge on the world for destroying his self, and find a pleasure of playing with others and the world. As a result, he cannot take anyone else seriously except himself and those who are included in his ego structure (mainly his relatives). The game life essentially takes revenge on the world by destroying themselves spiritually, even though they have been resisting and denying that they are destroying themselves spiritually.Their psychological logic is: if I'm not serious, you can't hurt me; on the contrary, I can hurt you.And the way you hurt me before, because I am like this now, I have no power, even, it seems that you have never had the ability to hurt me before, because I am like this, no one can hurt me. There are two ways to retaliate against the world: one is spiritual retaliation; the other is verbal and behavioral retaliation.Depending on the growth environment, education level, and living and working environment, there are two types of people: indifferent and cynical. Indifferent inferiority-type people just don't care about anything.They are different from honest people who escape from the world, but they attack the world spiritually.There was a hatred in their indifference.When the world turns bad and a lot of people are unlucky, they are very happy psychologically. Their hearts are closed and dark, and the outside sun can't shine in at all. Sometimes, they also play tricks, such as urinating on a park chair when no one is watching, or making lewd expressions at beautiful women. Many obscene men are cold, inferior people.Obscene actions are an upgraded version of their mental teasing of the world. For indifferent inferiority-type people, as long as they show enthusiasm and concern for the world, it is psychologically equivalent to admitting that there are still things worthy of respect and serious things in this world, and then they are equivalent to opening up to the world. The door to your soul.The hurt they feel is likely to be repeated.Therefore, we must be defensive. The strategy of defense is to close yourself, and at the same time, you can attack the world mentally. And for the cynic, mental indifference is not enough.They can't just be spectators.They have to do three things at the same time: ①Use your performance to tease others and the world, so as to gain a psychological advantage. ②Exhibit your own existence and not let others ignore you. ③Do your best to show things like humor and fantasize about yourself possessing these likable traits to prove your worth. The cynical low self-esteem type can't sit still.For them, keeping them silent and just watching others perform is more uncomfortable than killing them.They must attack others and society with language, expressions, gestures, and actions. Cynical low self-esteem type people like to join in the fun.He wouldn't refuse to go to a party or something if he had the chance.It was not in his nature to withdraw from the world and close himself off.However, he can't radiate love for this world. Once he radiates love, his psychological defense will collapse, and the world may hurt him again at any time, and he is tantamount to spurning himself.