Chapter 22 4.meet a "bad boy"

After Yuanyuan skipped a grade and was promoted to the fourth grade, she didn't have any difficulties in her studies. She soon became acquainted with the students in her new class and made some of her best friends.Overall, things are going well.The only thing that bothers her is that she is constantly being bullied by a little boy in her class. This boy is a so-called "poor student", here I call him Sun Xiaoli.He sat behind Yuanyuan.I heard that he used to bully other female students in the class, but since Yuanyuan came, he focused on bullying Yuanyuan.He always pulls his round braids from behind in class.After class, he snatched her textbook and threw it on the desk of another classmate far away. He watched her anxiously go around in a big circle to find the book. When he was about to get close to the book, he ran forward and grabbed it again, and put it on another distant table. On the table.Often when class is about to start, Yuanyuan is still busy chasing books in the classroom.Sometimes Yuanyuan was playing with other classmates after class, when suddenly she was pushed by him and almost fell down.

Yuanyuan often complained to me at home, and it seemed that this little boy made her a little worried.The classmates in Yuanyuan's class saw me and sued, "Auntie, Sun Xiaoli in our class always bullies Yuanyuan, you should sue the teacher."I never went to see the teacher. First, I thought it was inevitable that a little boy would be mischievous. It was not a big deal. I just told Yuanyuan not to care about him.Second, I feel that Yuanyuan has already told the teacher about this matter, and if I go to talk about it again, the teacher will not solve the problem even if the teacher criticizes him.I hope Yuanyuan can solve these problems by herself. According to my feeling, this little boy only brings troubles to Yuanyuan. She will be fine after going home and talking about it. It will not cause her psychological harm, so I am not in a hurry come forward.

The bullying methods in the fourth grade were not too serious, but in the fifth grade it was a bit too much.In addition to the previous pranks, there was also "harassment".Once he called home, Yuanyuan answered, and he yelled "I love you" on the phone.Yuanyuan was so frightened that she threw the receiver away, and came to me angrily and said, how did Sun Xiaoli know our phone number?Let's change the phone quickly! I began to think about Sun Xiaoli seriously, and thought that this 10-year-old child might really have some problems, so I couldn't figure out what to do for a while.But something else happened soon enough that I had to act quickly.

That day when Yuanyuan came home from school, she seemed in a bad mood, and she had to change her clothes and wash her hair as soon as she entered the door.I asked why, she groaned for a long time before telling me reluctantly that Sun Xiaoli hugged her from behind and kissed her hair when she was playing with her classmates outside the classroom this afternoon.The teacher happened to see it, criticized him and punished him to stand up.It seems that this incident really made Yuanyuan very unhappy, she tried her best not to cry, and asked me if I could go and talk to the principal to get Sun Xiaoli fired.

Yuanyuan's father had been dissatisfied with the little boy for a long time, and now he was furious, and said that he would go to the parents of this bad boy and ask them to beat him up.According to my intuition, it is useless for such a child to find his parents. If the parents beat him up, he may not do anything bad in the future.I don't expect the teacher to have a solution, I want to find a fundamental solution.I told Yuanyuan, Mom will wait for you at the school gate when you leave school tomorrow, and talk to Sun Xiaoli.The next day I bought a copy of Zheng Yuanjie's fairy tale "Pipilu", which is a fairy tale that Yuanyuan and I both like.On the one hand, this is regarded as a "bribery" product, on the other hand, I want him to read a little book.Reading can promote moral development. The former Soviet educator Suhomlinsky said: "I firmly believe that the self-education of teenagers begins with reading a good book."

Wait for her at the gate of Yuanyuan School.She came out early and waited for Sun Xiaoli to come out with me.After a while, Yuanyuan pointed to a child who was dressed loosely and looked a bit scruffy, and called him over. I told him that I was Yuanyuan's mother and wanted to talk to him.He probably thought I was here to settle accounts with him, and there was fear in his eyes, which in turn showed provocation and indifference. "Don't be nervous, Auntie just came to have a casual chat with you, shall we talk?" I knelt down.He looked a little surprised, but his mood eased.At this time, a few classmates came around, I didn't want them to surround me, I pulled Sun Xiaoli to walk away, but those little boys still followed.Just ignore them.

I asked Sun Xiaoli pleasantly: "Do you think Yuanyuan is a good classmate or a bad classmate?" He replied: "Good classmate".Some shy. I asked, "What's good about her, tell me." He blurted out: "Good study." After thinking for a while, he said: "Don't make trouble." Then he fell silent. I asked, "Is there any more?" He thought about it again and said, "Don't scold others, don't bully others." I asked again: "Then what are her shortcomings?" He was slightly embarrassed, and said in a low voice: "There are no shortcomings."

I said, "Yuanyuan is a good classmate. If someone bullies her, is that right?" He shook his head. "Then will you bully her?" He hesitated again, shaking his head. I smiled and patted his arm and said, "What a good boy." At this time, several little boys next to her were dissatisfied, and they all said, "Auntie, don't trust him, he often bullies Yuanyuan, he has promised the teacher many times, and after the promise is over, he makes mistakes again."It made Sun Xiaoli feel dissatisfied and slightly ashamed. I said to those boys: "Sun Xiaoli used to be like that, but he won't be like that in the future." I asked Sun Xiaoli trustingly, "Do you think so?" Sun Xiaoli's eyes brightened, and he nodded.

I also saw the kindness of this child at this moment, and vaguely felt that the child's behavior must be related to his parents' parenting style, so I wanted to talk to his parents, hoping to completely solve this child's problem.So I asked: "Which unit do your parents work in? Can I talk to them? Don't worry, I promise I won't sue." The child suddenly seemed very embarrassed, and his mood plummeted. At this time, a child watching from the side whispered to me, "Auntie, don't ask me any more."I immediately realized that there might be something wrong with Sun Xiaoli's family, so I quickly stopped talking, apologized to him and said, oh, I'm sorry, I won't talk about it.I took out "Pipilu" and said to him, this book is very good, Yuanyuan loves to read this book very much, do you want to read it?

He nodded.After reading the book, my eyelids went down again. I put the book in his hand and said, this book is for you, go home and read it.In addition, Yuanyuan has many good-looking books at home. If you want to read them, you can ask her to bring them and lend them to you. After you finish reading one, return it and borrow another.good or not? He held "Pipilu" with both hands, his eyes sparkled, and he nodded again.The more children around the front, I was afraid that Sun Xiaoli would be under psychological pressure, so I said, then we will be like this today, okay?He still nodded and looked very good. He must have never thought that I would solve the problem with him like this.I led Yuanyuan home, and the little boy who didn't let me ask about Sun Xiaoli's parent's work unit came over and told me mysteriously that Sun Xiaoli's father was in prison.I was a little surprised, and then told the boy that his father was in prison, he must be very sad, and he didn't want others to know.As long as we know about it, we won’t tell others about it in the future, okay?The boy immediately nodded sensibly.

Since then, Sun Xiaoli has never bullied Yuanyuan again.After a while, I asked Yuanyuan to bring him a book of fairy tales by Zheng Yuanjie.I asked Yuanyuan if Sun Xiaoli had read these two books, she said she didn't know, and she didn't want to ask him.Maybe she still tried to avoid Sun Xiaoli as much as possible, not wanting to provoke him.But she said that Sun Xiaoli didn't bully girls anymore, but he was still criticized by the teacher for other reasons.Once Yuanyuan went to the teacher's office to deliver homework. The teacher called Sun Xiaoli's mother. His mother looked very angry, and suddenly stood up and kicked Sun Xiaoli several times. When Yuanyuan said this, her tone was full of panic, such a scene was too unbelievable for her.I told Yuanyuan that it was really wrong for his mother to do this, it hurt the child's self-esteem too much.Such a family, what can children do?His fault is actually not his fault, but his parents' fault.So don't discriminate against him, and if you encounter other students who discriminate and insult Sun Xiaoli, you should stop them.Don't treat him as a bad boy, he is just an ordinary classmate, everyone treats him equally now, only when he grows up can he become a normal person. I later heard a quote from a TV program about animals that traumatized baby elephants mature early and are aggressive.It would also explain why this child behaved in those ways. I feel sorry for Sun Xiaoli, and I really want to help him. I want to talk to his mother about changing the way of education. Children are so malleable.But his mother looks like that, I am a little afraid of her, and I am not sure that I can communicate with her.And I was very busy at work and often worked overtime.Later, I stopped hearing Yuanyuan talk about Sun Xiaoli, and I didn't think about it anymore.Now that I think about it, I regret it, maybe it was better for me to talk to his mother.Hopefully the kid is doing well now.We left Yantai after Yuanyuan finished fifth grade, and there was no news of the child after that.I hope he can grow up normally. In 2006, I read an incident in the newspaper. The parents of a girl in a primary school in Beijing, because their daughter had a little conflict with a boy at school, went home and cried to the parents. The couple arrived the next day. The school went to the little boy to settle accounts.The couple went straight to the little boy and beat the boy violently, resulting in the boy's death.The tragic incident left two families shattered.This pair of parents not only ruined their own future, but also made their beloved daughter grow up alone without their parents.Taking a step back, even if nothing happens to the boy, such an approach by the parents is still abhorrent.From a distance, how can their behavior teach children how to behave?From a close point of view, it is embarrassing to go to school like this, and how will their daughter look up in school in the future.They are not only taking away the joy of her daughter's current school life, but also teaching her to be a vengeful person and taking away her future happiness. Every child may encounter "bad classmates" at school. If parents need to come forward, the purpose should be to help children solve problems and resolve conflicts, not to retaliate.There are different ways to deal with different objects. There is a bottom line, that is, you can't hurt that "little enemy" physically and psychologically, but respect that child as you respect your own child.At the same time, it is necessary to consider the impact of the method adopted on the personality and behavior of his child, as well as the impact on his future interpersonal relationships.If you love a child, help him create a harmonious situation and don't make trouble for him. ●"His fault is actually his parents' fault. So don't discriminate against him, don't treat him as a bad boy, he is just an ordinary classmate. Everyone treats him equally now, and he can only be a normal person when he grows up." ●Reading can promote moral development. The former Soviet educator Sukhomlinsky said: "I firmly believe that the self-education of teenagers begins with reading a good book." ●Every child may encounter "bad classmates" at school. If parents come forward, the purpose should be to help children solve problems and resolve conflicts, not revenge.