Chapter 21 3.Can you criticize the teacher?

In the fifth grade of Yuanyuan Primary School, the moral class talked about why the elderly should be respected. The teacher only gave one answer: because the elderly made contributions to the country when they were young.When Yuanyuan came home and mentioned this to me, she disagreed and said, "Some old people were thieves when they were young!" I can understand Yuanyuan's thinking, what she thinks is that besides those who contribute to the society should be respected, some elderly people misbehaved when they were young, but when they are old, as an ordinary person and a vulnerable person , we should also give him due respect.But given Yuanyuan's age at the time, she couldn't analyze too much, but she just intuitively thought that what the teacher said was a bit biased.

I really appreciate the child's point of view. Her little heart has surpassed the utilitarian way of thinking that people have had for many years, and has begun to think about issues with human caring spirit and compassion. This is indeed worthy of appreciation.So I chatted with Yuanyuan about this issue for a while.I affirmed her thoughts, helped her sort out her thoughts, and made her realize that respecting others is the most basic attitude to be a human being, not an exchange behavior; and respect also has different levels—for those People who have made contributions to society and the country should be respected with reverence and love; a prisoner should also be given the most basic respect as a human being, and even animals should be respected.

We have always encouraged children to have independent opinions, and not to follow others' opinions in anything. This is consistent with the attitude we have been cultivating for her to be a person who seeks truth from facts. problems, rather than merely conforming to the ideas of others or to a certain custom.This is actually cultivating her critical consciousness. Some people say that the critical spirit is one of the important symbols of human civilization, and believe that the development of nature and human society is a grand critical process.From Darwin's theory of biological evolution, we can see that the development of living things stems from constant self-criticism.Western educational circles pay more and more attention to the cultivation of students' critical thinking ability, and think that critical thinking is an inseparable part of learning, and it is listed together with "problem solving" as two ways of thinking. The development of children's critical awareness should be an important part of education. an important task.For primary and middle school students, especially primary school students, the cultivation of critical awareness does not necessarily require the child to come up with any new ideas, but to let him dare to speak out his own ideas first.The most typical is to let children dare to question some words and deeds of teachers.Because the teacher is the first "authority" that children encounter, it is natural for children to worship and fear teachers.In daily life, parents should tell their children through their attitude towards some things that they should not only respect the teacher, but also have a sense of equality when getting along with the teacher. Don't be afraid or worship blindly. The teacher was wrong.

An old classmate of mine told me such a thing. When her son was in the second grade of primary school, he had a new Chinese teacher.The Chinese teacher in the first grade was a man, but this time it was a woman.When the female teacher gave the children the first class, she said that she wanted to "inspire the students' observation skills", and asked the children to tell the difference between themselves and the former male teacher.The children chattered and found many differences. The new teacher has long hair, while the previous teacher has short hair; the new teacher has double eyelids, while the previous teacher has single eyelid; ; Some children even noticed that the new teacher had a mole on the corner of his mouth, but the previous teacher did not.My friend's son raised his hand from the very beginning. He had noticed many differences between the two teachers. He kept raising his hand high, but the teacher never called him.Seeing that all the things he found were finished by other students, the child was very anxious.At the end when the students had nothing to say, the little boy suddenly remembered something different, so he raised his hand high again.The teacher asked him to get up and said, the boy said: "You are a woman, you don't have a penis, the teacher before had a penis."

The whole class roared with laughter, and the teacher was very unhappy.After class, the teacher called the child to the office and severely criticized him, saying that his consciousness was not good and his thoughts were not healthy. The child felt very wronged, and went home and asked his mother what was meant by "poor consciousness".When the mother heard it, she didn't think there was anything wrong with the child, but she said: You brat, why are you full of such crooked thoughts in your head? Can the teacher not be angry when you say that? The teacher deserves to criticize you. The teacher is so rude!

My classmate just told me this as an interesting story, and I was also amused by the little boy's words, but I regretted what the teacher and mother did. I felt that they missed an opportunity to develop children's creative thinking and dare to express themselves. The child is brought one step closer to mediocre thinking and false thinking. Our schooling or home education has long produced "good kids".At home, parents represent "correctness" and require children to be "obedient"; at school, teachers represent "authority" and do not allow students to be "different".Many children grow up accused of being thoughtless and lacking in creativity, but haven't they been trained as parrots and manipulated as puppets in their ideological growth?Where does his intellectual independence come from?

In this example, the teacher should not be angry, but should happily affirm the child's words even if she is slightly embarrassed.A child's mind is very simple, he must not think as much as the teacher.Now that the teacher is doing something wrong and the child comes to ask the parent for help, the parent should at least show understanding, tell the child that his idea is correct, and that he can discover things that others cannot find, which is worthy of praise; at the same time, tell the child that the teacher should not Not happy; but since the teacher is not used to others saying this, then we will not say such things in class in the future.It's a pity that when the mother casually derogates the child, she doesn't care how those words will affect the child, but the impact must be there, and it is negative.

Another mother told me this story. Her son, who is in the fourth grade of elementary school, forgot to take home a math paper given by the teacher one day. The paper was homework for the day.In order to finish the homework on time, the child went to borrow papers from a classmate downstairs in his house, copied all the questions according to the format on the paper, and then finished them.In this way, the child actually increases his homework, because it is not an easy task for a child to copy a paper.After the homework was finished, the child was very happy. He thought that he did not delay his homework because he forgot to bring back the paper, and he even felt that the teacher would praise him for it.

When school was over the next day, the child cried as soon as he saw his mother.It turned out that the teacher said that the papers he had copied by himself were not counted, and asked the child to redo the original papers.If the child didn't want to do it, the teacher called him to the office and asked him to do it again, otherwise he would not be allowed to go home from school.The child had no choice but to write while crying, feeling very bad.The teacher saw the child like this, and said that it seems that you are very dissatisfied with the teacher, and asked your mother to come to see me after school.

The mother took the child to the office to find the math teacher.The math teacher told the mother that it was wrong to forget to bring the paper, and the punishment was to prevent him from losing things in the future. Besides, it was better for him to write more papers so that he could learn more solidly. Although the mother felt that the teacher's words were far-fetched, she didn't dare to argue with the teacher. After thanking the teacher repeatedly, she led the child home.After returning home, the child was still in a bad mood, so she enlightened the child and said, "The teacher is right. After punishing you once, you won't throw the paper in the classroom. You can learn more by writing it again. You should listen to the teacher." If so, teacher, this is for your own good.

Although the parent used the same words as the teacher to educate the child, after she finished speaking, she saw that the child was very unhappy, and she felt uncomfortable, so she had some doubts whether what she said was right.Afterwards, she asked me in confusion, what do you think I should do in this situation? The confusion of this parent is very representative. In fact, she has two sets of values ​​in her heart. One is consistent with the secular concept, that is, the teacher understands education, and everything the teacher does is for the good of the child. Criticism; the other is what she yearns for from the bottom of her heart, that is, children should be respected, and children should not be punished in such a way of homework.When these two sets of values ​​conflict, she chooses the former, which may be related to her lack of critical spirit, lack of judgment at critical moments, and subconsciously act according to the inherent routines in the concept.But a person's duplicity can't coax his own heart or other people's hearts, so both she and the child are sad. I told this parent that you are right to restrain yourself in front of the teacher.If we are not sure that we can change a certain idea of ​​the teacher, there is no need to rush to discuss who is right with the teacher, and never offend the child's teacher.But it's not necessary to talk to your child like that when you get home.You should speak your true thoughts and talk to your child about it from a very objective standpoint.Think about it, how much the child hopes to get the understanding of the parents at this time.There was a hint of surprise in the parent's eyes, as if she wanted to get a confirmation from me. She asked, do you think the teacher is wrong to do this? I said that the teacher's handling of this matter was obviously inappropriate.It is wrong for the child to forget to take the paper, but the child actively figured out a way, borrowed the paper from the classmate, copied the paper again, and completed the homework on time.If the teacher can see the positive side of the child in this matter and treat the child with appreciation, he should give praise as the child expects.At least say nothing.But he only focused on the child's mistakes, and very stupidly punished him with homework, and found a high-sounding reason that it was for the child's benefit, which made the child feel that the teacher was harsh and unreasonable. This parent may think that what I said makes sense and nodded, but she still showed no confidence, asking me, should I tell my son that the teacher did something wrong?Can you say that to your child? I understood her uneasiness, and told her that telling the child that the teacher did something wrong was not the same thing as saying bad things about the teacher behind his back, and that we should have a calm attitude in this regard.Teachers are also ordinary people, and ordinary people will make some mistakes.So of course you can tell the child frankly that the teacher is wrong. I saw that the parent was troubled, so I told her again that over the years we have been used to not criticizing the teacher, as if the teacher is right in what and what he does to the child.In fact, the entry threshold for the profession of primary and secondary school teachers in our country is not high. Those who become teachers have not passed through moral screening and quality research higher than other professions. Advantage.It is not objective to think that teachers are not wrong, and such an understanding is actually an illusory expectation, which puts pressure on teachers, but is not good for their professional growth.The quality of the future teaching staff should be higher, and their expected quality may be more in line with their existing quality; but we still cannot say that a person becomes a person without defects just because he becomes a teacher. My words may have surprised the parents, but she seemed relieved a lot. After thinking about it, she still had some concerns and said, I have always taught children to respect the teacher. Will this reduce the prestige of the teacher, and the teacher will not be good in the future. Leave him alone? I said, this is actually an important reason why you dare not tell your children that the teacher is wrong.But this worry is unnecessary.We should respect the teacher, but we should not enshrine the teacher as an authority.A common mistake in the whole society now is to establish teachers as the authority in front of students, and this phenomenon is especially serious in primary schools.The relationship between teachers and students reveals such an extreme consciousness of strength and weakness, monarch and subject, knowledge and ignorance, right and wrong.This is wrong, and this will cause children to disrespect the teacher. Who would respect an authority that makes them uncomfortable from the bottom of their hearts?Telling a child that the teacher is doing something wrong is not teaching him to disrespect the teacher, but teaching him to dare to question authority.Don't underestimate children, as long as you manage them properly, there is no child who is difficult to manage, and no child who does not know how to respect others.In fact, children are very kind. They naturally worship and respect their teachers. As long as we don't lead them astray, they will find the right path by feeling.Facing a respectable teacher, his admiration cannot be stopped. It seems that my words had an impact on this mother. She asked me: specifically, what should I do, and how should I tell my child about this? I said, if I were to do this matter, I might handle it like this.First of all, if you feel that you can communicate with the teacher, it is best to communicate, and let the teacher realize that such "kindness" is not a good thing for children.The logic that doing more homework can make children learn more solidly is not true everywhere. When children feel disgusted, doing more is much worse than doing less.Many kind-hearted teachers are actually very willing to accept the opinions of their parents. As teachers, they also have a process of learning and growing.If you feel that you can't communicate with the teacher, then don't say anything, and don't make any trouble with the teacher.But when you get home, you have to have a face-to-face talk with your child anyway. The next words may be what the parents want to know most at the moment, and her eyes are full of expectation.I said that when you guide children to understand something or clarify a thought, it is best to use a question-and-answer method.Let the children speak out their ideas and clarify their thinking under the guidance of their parents. This is better than unilaterally reasoning by parents. For example, in this matter, you can first ask the child if he feels unhappy or wronged; you must first appease the child's emotions and show your understanding.Then ask the child if he thinks the teacher is doing something wrong, where he is doing it wrong, what is the meaning of homework, whether the teacher's behavior has realized this meaning, and the teacher's emphasis on an irrelevant paper reflects his kind of attitude. This kind of understanding, what is the main difference between this kind of understanding and the child's understanding, whose understanding is better for learning, what the teacher should do is right, if you were a teacher, how would you deal with it.During the question-and-answer process, we must pay attention to the objectivity and fairness of personal thoughts, do not speak with emotions, and aim at the question itself, not at the teacher.Through a series of questions and answers, let the children understand that the fundamental mistake in this matter lies in the teacher's wrong concept, so they can refuse to rewrite the paper again, and have the courage to say no to similar things in the future. The parent kept nodding. It seemed that her train of thought had gradually become clearer, but she still had a big concern.She said that the school management is relatively strict now. Although the teachers don't beat and scold the children, what if the teacher gets angry by doing so, what should I do if I give the children small shoes? I said that under normal circumstances, the teacher may be angry at the time, and should not care about the child after the incident.If unfortunately you encounter a narrow-minded person who gives your child cold violence, parents should quickly coordinate the relationship between the child and the teacher.Although such a person is hateful, it is also very simple. Parents can think of various ways to communicate with the teacher afterwards, establish a good relationship with the teacher, and pay attention to maintaining this relationship until he no longer teaches the child.Don't let your child suffer this kind of cold violence alone. I thought about it for a while, and then added that if it is not serious, I do not agree to report it to the school leaders.If it is not done well, the teacher will think that you give him a small report, and he will be emotionally resistant.After all, he is also an ordinary person, and he doesn't want to be told behind his back, especially if someone goes to the leader to sue him. The parents kept nodding.I also hope that these words will be useful to her. Teaching is a respected profession.We should always teach children to respect their teachers, but not to be rigid and excessive in this matter.It is necessary to allow children to question certain behaviors of teachers, allow children to criticize teachers, and allow children to have their own ideas and practices in front of teachers.If the parents reprimand or ridicule the child because of these things, not only suppresses the child's critical thinking, but also teaches him to say something insincere, making the child artificial and servile in thought in the future.When children develop their own independent thinking, they may appear extreme.Even if it is extreme, we must first look at it with a positive attitude, analyze the child's thoughts, and then objectively guide him to form a correct understanding. This is the task of education. In addition, a person with a critical spirit is a person with personality; and everything with personality must be unique, and if it is unique, it will always conflict with mediocrity.While encouraging the child to develop his personality, parents should guide him to understand and accept all kinds of people and things. A healthy critical spirit should have a broad perspective and a high level, so it should have a tolerant temperament. American educator John Dewey said that "intellectual freedom is the only freedom that will always be important".This sentence reminds us that independence and freedom of thought are as important as ever, and that human reason cannot be fettered.This sentence reads a bit empty and seems relatively plain; in fact, it is very true, and it is a very important concept in children's education. It is worthy of parents and teachers' constant attention, in-depth reflection, and practice everywhere. ●For elementary and middle school students, especially primary school children, the cultivation of critical awareness does not necessarily require the child to put forward any new viewpoints, but to make him dare to express his own ideas first.The most typical is to let children dare to question some words and deeds of teachers. ●Telling your child that the teacher has done something wrong is not the same as saying bad things about the teacher behind your back. You should have a calm attitude in this regard. ●When you guide your children to know something or clarify a thought, it is best to use a question-and-answer method.Educating children to speak out their ideas and clarify their thinking under the guidance of their parents is better than unilaterally reasoning by parents. ●We should always teach children to respect teachers, but don't be rigid and excessive in this matter.It is necessary to allow children to question certain behaviors of teachers, allow children to criticize teachers, and allow children to have their own ideas and practices in front of teachers.If the parents reprimand or ridicule the child because of these things, not only suppresses the child's critical thinking, but also teaches him to say something insincere, making the child artificial and servile in thought in the future. ●While encouraging children to develop their individuality, parents should guide them to understand and accept all kinds of people and things. A healthy critical spirit should have a broad perspective and a high level, so it should be tolerant.