Chapter 14 Chapter Thirteen Absolute Love Absolute Love

Since they are in love, everyone hopes that the two parties can love each other deeply and without distraction, and can achieve a full and harmonious combination both physically and spiritually.In this way, the two loved ones only have each other in their eyes, love only one person wholeheartedly, do not allow the slightest debauchery, and never flirt with women.This kind of love, we call it "absolute love".So, if we blindly pursue this "absolute", what will happen to love? A truly like-minded partner will continue to deepen physical love with the deepening of spiritual love; or continue to refine spiritual love with the deepening of physical love.The relationship between the protagonist Jiu Mu and Rinko in the novel can be described as a typical representative in this regard.Rinko tasted the pleasure of sex for the first time through Jiumu, and deepened her love for Jiumu with the deepening of sex; Jiumu also loved Rinko more and was strongly attracted by her who had obtained pleasure through herself.

As the love for each other deepens, both parties will love to death, and either party wants to monopolize the other party.Both Hisaki and Rinko have their own families, so they suffer from possessiveness and jealousy for each other.The tension during the secret tryst and the guilt of being tolerated by society further stimulated and ignited the fire of their love. However, even if you think that you have completely possessed the other person because of love, your heart will change at any time.In fact, if you have loved someone in the past, you cannot deny that the flame of love will at some point weaken and go out.

The reason why Hisaki and Rinko have both been married separately is because they were attracted to each other to some extent before, and firmly believed that they could spend this life together with each other.However, when both parties start to live under the same roof, in the name of stability, there is inertia. The tenderness and sweetness of the newlyweds fade away mercilessly, and all they see is the disgusting that the other party never showed when they were passionately in love. side.In this way, once the relationship is alienated, sex will be dull.Why did the two parties who loved each other so much change in this way?The rationale is that both feel deeply that that love is unreal and that it creates insecurities and fears as the years go by.In the second half of the book, there is a description about Rinko going to see Hisaki's wife. Let us quote some of the fragments as an explanation:

"Break up with that one?" Rinko seemed to be talking to herself, and then said: "The matter has come to this point, it's all my fault. However, when I saw Mrs. Zun, I felt scared when I looked at it..." "Fear?" "It's the passing of time that makes people frightened. After ten or twenty years, people's hearts will change. I'm afraid you loved your wife very much when you got married, and hoped to form a happy family with her, right? But, now It changed." Then, Rinko continued: "In short, perhaps you will tire of me. If you don't tire of me, I might tire of yours..."

If you believe that love will change as long as people live, then there is no other way but to go to hell with each other when love is stirring.Because there is no better way to treasure absolute love than this.As the love between Rinko and Jiumu deepened, their desire for death also intensified. The circumstances surrounding the two of them also created an atmosphere of longing for death.The beginning when Jiumu and Rinko got acquainted was when Jiumu was pushed out of the core of the company. In addition, seeing his friends sick and dying, he felt even more illusory about life.But Rinko had a premonition of death at the peak of sex.Although she is only thirty-eight years old and is at the pinnacle of her life, as a woman, she is bound to go downhill in the future, and this ominous omen hangs over her inexplicably.In this case, as the love between the two deepens, both parties will destroy their families.As a result, Hisaki was accused of social morality; Rinko also severed her mother-daughter relationship with her biological mother, and both of them fell into a situation of isolation and helplessness.Because she is not compatible with social morality, Rinko has strengthened her desire for death.In direct proportion to this, they both fell into the boundless abyss of sex and were deeply addicted to the world of sex.Fantasizing about death before making love may be said to be a world where only women can personally experience the intoxication and extreme happiness of reaching the peak state.In this regard, a sober woman living in reality may refute: "There is no such a world of extreme happiness!" However, going forward is a world that needs to be experienced, and it cannot be explained by reason alone.In short, what is clear is self-cleaning, and what is turbid is turbid.

To be honest, I don't intend to be irresponsible and irresponsible, but, especially when it comes to sexual intercourse, people will inevitably have major differences in opinions based on whether they really feel it or not. Regardless of these, as far as Jiu Mu is concerned, he was attracted by Rinko's love and hope for death, so he quickly fell in love with death.In the end, the two finally died in love with a tightly bound posture. Although absolute love exists, it is extremely short-lived and not forever.If one wishes to keep it forever, one must die at the pinnacle of love.That's another theme that manifests itself.The background material for creating this work is actually the Abe Sada incident that occurred in the eleventh year of the Showa era (1936).

Abe Sada, who works as a waitress at a small restaurant in Nakano, Tokyo, has a physical relationship with the owner of the restaurant, Yoshizo.As far as Kizang is concerned, maybe he just wanted to indulge himself at first, but Abe Sada was very attached to him.The reason for this is that Abe Sada truly experienced sexual pleasure through Kizang. After having a relationship with Abe Sada many times, Ji Zang gradually indulged in love with Abe Sada.In other words, Abe Jo and Ji Zang are rare sexual partners with excellent sex.As a result, Abe Jo began to be strongly jealous of Ji Zang's wife Ash, and couldn't bear to return Ji Zang to her.The thought of having sex with his wife as soon as Kizang comes home drives Abe Sho almost to the point of madness.Ji Zang is also addicted to making love with Abe custom. As long as the two have money, they will live in a hotel and indulge themselves.

The more she embraces Ji Zang, the more Abe Jo will become attached to him, so when the sex reaches its climax, she can't help but say: "In order not to let you have sex with others, I will kill you!" Ji Zang replied: " As long as I treat you well, I am willing to die." Hearing his answer, Abe Sada was sincerely happy, thinking that there would be no second man who would say "willing to be killed for you", so that she I am more and more infatuated with Ji Zang. So, the two start to make love while grabbing each other's necks, which induces a sadistic pleasure, which adds new flavor to the thick sex between the two.Repeatedly making love like this for many times enhanced Abe Sada's nostalgia for Kizang. She even thought that if she wanted this lovely person to belong to her forever, she had to kill him and then die herself.

One day, Ji Zang fell asleep drowsily because he was too tired from making love, and then he suddenly opened his eyes and said, "Hey, why is it still stuck on my neck? Don't let go if you tighten it, so as not to cause pain in the future. Hearing what he said, Abe thought to himself: Maybe he himself feels that life is too troublesome and wants to be killed? "No, this is absolutely impossible!" Abe Sada repeatedly pondered Ji Zang's psychology, and in the end she decided to kill Ji Zang in order to monopolize him forever.So she wrapped the rope around Jizang's neck to strangle him, and smiled and said, "Forgive me." Later, she cut off his penis and testicles with a kitchen knife, carefully wrapped them in kraft paper, and covered them again. Cloth wrapped in bosom ready to carry them well into the afterlife.The thing was still clinging to her body when she was arrested.

When asked why he cut off the penis of the man who was killed, Abe replied: "Because it is the cutest and most precious thing. If you don't cut it off, when you wipe his body, he will not be killed. My wife will definitely touch it." She also said: "Holding Ji Zang's penis in my hand, I feel that I am still with him, so I won't feel lonely." When the case was first made public, people thought it was a curious case, and Abe Jo was a lustful demon.But, as the trial unfolded, people began to sympathize with her.Why is this so?Because at the time when the "February 26 Incident" broke out, dark clouds of militarism enveloped Japan, and people were in a state of darkness and isolation. Abe Jo's pure survival of self-destruction, fearlessness, and courage to love A creed that resonates with people and finds some way to save themselves.Lawyer Takeuchi Kintaro defended her in this way: "The two of them have a balance of yin and yang, and their concavity and convexity are completely compatible. This is a combination that is rare in a thousand years. This case is driven by this rare fate and induced by God's mischief. ” In view of this, Abe Sada should have been sentenced to ten years in prison, but was sentenced to only six years.Moreover, she was later released as a model prisoner after only five years in prison.

Looking back at the Abe Sada incident, we can comprehend such a fact: the two love each other deeply and cannot control themselves, and seek an absolute and exclusive relationship, which will eventually lead to destruction and even death.In fact, if a person blindly pursues absolute love, he will inevitably cause harm to those around him, cause friction with social morality and ethics, and eventually push himself into a situation where he cannot extricate himself.However, in real life, there are very few people who are so persistent and strong in love, and most people will adopt one way or another to compromise to survive.Giving up the lustful passion and sex, and being content with the peace and stability in front of you, from the perspective of absolute love is a compromise, and it can also be said to be a fall.However, in real life, most people would rather live in "fornication". Here, let us explore the psychology of men about absolute love.Deep down in their hearts, they all have longings and expectations for absolute love, but in fact it is difficult for them to move towards it. Needless to say, in order to fall in that kind of love, you first need to have a partner.However, even with a partner, men still need enough courage and ability to act.At this point, presumably Japanese men will retreat because of timidity; and once they really fall into that kind of deep love relationship, they will feel bored instead. The reasons for this situation can be enumerated first: men do not have enough confidence in their own psychology.Even if you really want to love her and fall into it, you are worried when you or the other person will change your mind.Surprisingly, most men are cowardly and cowardly, and often hesitate because of looking forward and backward.Looking at it from another perspective, because men lack confidence in themselves, even if they really want to love someone, they will change their minds or do something different. This kind of thing is common among men.Therefore, it is not so much that men's existing relationships cannot be regarded as absolute, but rather that they dare not make such assertions.I'm not saying this because I'm a man, presumably many women feel the same way. Needless to say, the so-called "absolute" is a concept based on the premise of "unparalleled".Men's love is often relative.Right now, I love this woman the most, but soon the second and third will appear one after another.No matter how good she is, men will always have occasional distractions and hope for newcomers.In this way, it is better to maintain a relaxed relationship than to love the only wonderful woman and absolute love.Because men understand their own ambiguity, they don't have the confidence to implement absolute love. Maybe they feel that the relationship is too heavy in a sense. Contrary to men, if a woman truly falls in love with a certain man, she will continue to deepen her nostalgia for him, firmly believe that the only love between them is absolute love, and sincerely hope that their love will last forever.It can be seen that women are more persistent in love than men.Of course, there are also women among women who are attached to only one man on the surface, but have other people in their hearts.However, here we only consider women who only have a man at heart. Of course, men also find this kind of single-mindedness in women cute and delightful, but when it is overdone, it becomes eerie. However, there are also not a few women who have doubts about the sustainability of absolute love.Although there was no flame of love that could rival Jiumu between Nakarinko and her husband, there were quite happy times.However, she learned through marriage that it is time and marriage that weather love. Young women have high expectations for absolute love just because they have never tried marriage. When they are passionately in love, they think that only this is the absolute love, and believe that they will "maintain this kind of love for life". In order to grasp the absolute love forever, they are eager to get married. It is true that it is a natural result of wanting to be with the one you love forever and spend your whole life together.The purpose of this desire is: in order not to change the other party's heart, I hope to build a stable relationship through marriage, so that the other party only pays attention to themselves, and the same tension of love will always be maintained between the two people.In other words, most unmarried women think that marriage is a form of absolute love, and only marriage with absolute love can be considered as a result. However, if you expect too much marriage to achieve absolute love and achieve eternity, then things may backfire.As the article often seen in "Women's Public Commentary" said: After ten years of marriage, women have no passion for their husbands at all, so many people are troubled by maintaining such a meaningless marriage.The wives who lamented this way may have thought at the beginning of their marriage that only their own love is absolute, and that love will be stronger after marriage.At least they believe that their love for their husbands will not fade. However, no matter how much you love each other, there will be times of burnout between two people. Speaking like this, couples who are passionately in love may not take it seriously. They firmly believe that their love will never cool down.Perhaps it is precisely because of this difference in strength and weakness that burnout almost inevitably comes between all lovers. When in love, the man and the woman occupy each side, so the desire to meet is extremely strong.Because I am very eager to see the other party's voice and smile, my heart is always full of passion.In addition, no matter how much you love each other, you will occasionally worry about whether the other party will change your mind, and suspect that the other party will date someone else when the other party is not around.It is precisely because of this sense of spiritual urgency that they hope that the two sides will always stay together. However, once two people live together and join the "marriage" system protected by national law, the mental tension and urgency to meet will naturally disappear.If the disappearance of this passionate emotion is called "burnout", then it can be said that it is innate with the marriage system and will always accompany it, that is, it is a kind of fate. So, if burnout is to be avoided at all costs, you'd better not put up with the institution of marriage.Going a step further, you'd better abandon the common sense of being married and living together. Under normal circumstances, both men and women just try to show their good side, but once they get married and start living together with each other, people will reveal their "true colors".The reason for saying this is that the so-called marriage is at best a return to daily life, in which it is impossible for people to always feel nervous and pay attention to their own image. A wife would take it for granted that her husband would see her unmakeup face, and a husband would take no heed to reveal to his wife the unshaven looks he would not have shown in love.The more these original things are exposed, the more tension and concealment will be lost between the two parties.Because of this, both parties feel relaxed and at ease with each other.Working outside, you have to pay attention to your appearance all day long, and your spirit is high, so when you get home, you want to take a rest easily. Maybe this is the true nature of men. In short, falling in love is a non-daily phenomenon, while marriage is a daily and original phenomenon of showing each other's true selves.Therefore, burnout does not come quietly. Perhaps the so-called well-being and burnout are two sides of the same coin.That is, in order to get a sense of lightness, ease, and groundedness, one has to give up romance and excitement to a certain extent, and at the same time one has to accept the inertia called ease. Burnout is more or less unavoidable in married men and women, but it is more pronounced in men than in women. Here let us examine the reasons for this fact.One of them: women have a strong nesting instinct. Even if most men are married, they don't like to be restrained, and they strongly hope to be able to move freely outside.Their desire to build a nest is weaker than that of females.Women are very different from men. Once they decide to marry, they feel happy that they will be able to live with their lover in the future. At the same time, they start to build a family.However, while men are happy that they can live with the woman they like, many people feel depressed or have some kind of abandonment that they will only be able to live with one woman in this life. In addition, as soon as they get married, housework becomes the most important job for women, and their rhythm of life is completely different from before, including pregnancy, childbirth and other things related to physiology. In a sense, they have almost no time to tire of married life.After the child is born, they are busy raising the child; as soon as the child goes to school, they are busy educating the child.They have to face new things constantly, and they keep their heads spinning, at least until the kids get away. In contrast, men, no matter before or after marriage, just go to and from get off work. Since they have not experienced the pain of childbirth, there is always some distance between them and their children, so after the birth of their children, their real life does not change much.Rather, for married men, the role of being a "worker bee" has been emphasized even more, and their mental burden is increasing day by day. However, their real life is very monotonous. Because of this, they are extremely easy to get tired of married life. Among the uncomfortable words that women often say, there is such a sentence, "If you catch fish, you will not be given food." To a certain extent, this sentence reveals the secrets of men.In order to really please each other when they are in love, men try their best to be gentle with women, and they don't hesitate to waste time and effort to win their hearts. However, after marriage, she has become her own, so there is no need to do romantic things such as taking his wife to restaurants, giving gifts, and traveling. I can often hear my wife complaining: "He was so gentle before marriage", "He changed as soon as he got married" and so on.Indeed, there are many men with sudden changes after marriage. Here, what needs to be reminded is that when a man is in love, he is courteous to a woman in order to make her his own.A man would never treat a woman to a big meal or go for a drive without that kind of intention. In other words, men are more or less gentle with women and have some sexual expectations. It is precisely for the purpose of having physical or quasi-physical relationships with women that they are kind and kind to them.So once they figure out that no matter how many times they ask someone out to dinner, they won't be allowed to have sex with them, they quickly cool off and never ask them out again. Once a man can't get the other party or thinks he can't win the other party's favor, he will quickly cool down.Their courtship and indifference are related to whether the other party's character and appearance have the value to be pursued as a sexual object. That's it, it's only natural for a man with a strong hunting instinct to lose interest in a wife who has entered the family fence.Don't worry about running away, you can have it whenever you want, and losing your attachment to this kind of prey is, to a certain extent, really helpless. In this way, women may think that it is "discriminating against women" and feel resentful. However, men often say things such as "work the night shift" and "serve the lady" half-jokingly, which cannot be said in some ways. This is not true (belittling the wife). I once did a survey: how often male editors in their forties have sex with their wives.Most people answered: Once a month or longer.Some of them even said: They haven't had sex in the past year.Of course, some of them may be ashamed to answer.When asked the reasons for not having sex with his wife often, the answers he got were: "It's too tiring to have sex", "Don't worry, you can do it anytime anyway" and so on. I was so eager when I was in love, but now I have become lazy.That being said, if it were any other young woman other than the wife, they would probably have sex a lot. It can't be said that everything should be blamed on marriage. It is true that daily trivial matters will reduce men's libido. From this point of view, living under the same roof, it is inevitable to some extent that men will feel sexual burnout towards their wives after repeated sexual relations. However, despite this, the husband does not intend to divorce.Because there are other things between husband and wife, and life content that is completely different from sex is connecting them. As far as burnout is concerned, as long as monogamy is sanctioned, it is inevitable to some extent.This is understandable, the essence of the so-called burnout is a sense of reassurance, not only the pleasure of easy communication, but also the uneasiness caused by excessive emotion, which is the advantage of the family. Having said that, many wives have complained recently that "the husband has no passion", "the husband does not regard himself as a woman", and so on.At the same time, you need to be at ease and passionate, isn't it a bit greedy? If you want to have both at any rate, look no further than the American family. American couples often tell each other how much they love each other, and they go out together together, which may be enviable in the eyes of Japanese wives.However, behind it lies the danger that once the relationship cools down, the two will break up immediately.When American couples go out to a banquet together, the man is free to look at other women, and the woman is free to look at other men; no matter whether the other party is married or unmarried, the husband will chat with other women, and the wife will chat with other men.Because of this sense of competition that exists between them, the relationship between them is also full of vitality.But, at the same time, this kind of emotional exchange also breeds the danger that both parties will dissolve the marriage relationship as soon as the love cools down. Of course, this is also a way of life.Regardless of men and women, as long as you don't relax with each other, you must have great spiritual strength.In fact, the United States is full of people who need treatment for that intrusion of restlessness and tension.Both men and women need to put in considerable effort to maintain a marriage relationship. Despite this, the divorce rate is still surging, and the problem of children has become a complicated social problem. We cannot simply conclude that Japan is better than the US.However, in Japan, at least there is no sexual relationship with her husband, and women don't have to rush to assert that this is a period of burnout, so as to adopt a negative attitude. Of course, people who hate this life without passion will choose to divorce and explore a new way of life, which is also a kind of life.Of course, everyone's prospects are related to their personality charm, so we can't generalize which one is good and which one is bad. As mentioned earlier, a love that burns like a flame in the spirit and body, that is, a love that is devoted to the heart and soul cannot last forever.If it is placed in the stable form of marriage, its flame of love will be extinguished.Instead, laziness and familiarity follow.Marriage is originally a routine repetition, and the existence of the other party has become as far away from the so-called supreme love as water and air, and there is always a crisis lurking behind it. Therefore, it can be said that it is natural to lose passion after a few years of marriage.Judging from this that marriage is meaningless would negate marriage itself.To put it more simply, Absolute Love becomes everyday as the years go by, the so-called Everyday Love. Rinko feels that love is erratic through her married life, so she does not want to remarry Jiumu. In order to implement absolute love, she would rather choose death.It is true that she is a paranoid and somewhat self-absorbed woman, so she is inclined to the instinct of death, but in reality, no one would choose death for absolute love, right? However, when most wives see that their husbands have lost their passion for them and their love has become weak, they don't regard it as the inevitable end of the marriage system, but blindly think that their husbands are not good; Young, wrong person; even convinced that if the other man is not the current husband but another man, he can maintain absolute love even if he is married.In this way, they began to look forward to having another person who would bring her absolute love, and therefore, finally had the desire to engage in extramarital affairs.This situation is not uncommon. At present, the concept of age-appropriate age has been indifferent, and the era when people who never get married will be disapproved by society, and even feel ashamed by themselves is gone forever.Because of this, it is not uncommon for women to be in multiple relationships without marrying.Among them, some women do not want absolute love, but they want a happy and dynamic marriage that will not fall into burnout and inertia.In this way, despite falling in love repeatedly, they always feel that they have not found the person they like, so they continue to look forward to the arrival of someone who understands them better.Due to too much pursuit of ideals, such women are always unable to make up their minds to get married.Moreover, the older they are, the more they pursue the perfect object, the perfect love. As a result, they are picky and selective, and their vision is getting higher and higher. In short, women's desire for absolute love is stronger than men's.Most women in love hold this idea: even if they can't keep love forever, they should try their best to keep absolute love for a long time. So, what should be done in order to obtain absolute love?The answer is: don't get married!This seems too cruel.Isn't that the life of Sartre (Jean Paul) and Beauvoir (Simonecle)?Also, aren't the heroes portrayed by Sagan (Francoise) the same way?However, in today's ancient but unrefined land of Japan, the above-mentioned situations are all negated and divided under the name of incest. In this way, most women still want to ensure stability and absolute love in marriage, hoping to have both.Maybe they hope that through marriage, they can not only stay together with their lover often, but also cultivate a deep and absolute love.In other words, they believe that the only means of achieving absolute love is marriage. However, absolute love and marriage are not on the same starting line. Here, let us review the definition of absolute love: the so-called absolute love refers to the completely exclusive way of love between a man and a woman that burns each other's body and spirit.It can be seen that it requires spiritual love, but also strong sexual love.It actually takes considerable passion and effort to maintain this relationship. In family life, it is indeed extremely difficult for a woman to maintain a beautiful appearance and have passion for a man.When they go out on a date, they try to look as good as they can, but as soon as married life settles down, they may be disheveled and sloppy.In addition, they also become neglectful of caring for each other, revealing the true colors of being suppressed in love.In this way, can the man really still make her feel the stirring love in the old state of mind? Speaking in this way, some women must retort: ​​"Isn't it absolute love to accept the other person's innate true self? If the other person absolutely loves me, they should tolerate my shortcomings, tolerate everything about me, and agree with me. everything.” This view is quite harsh and can be said to be an unreasonable requirement. I say this because men are the kind of creatures that have a hard time maintaining a sexual relationship without having sexual fantasies about a woman.However, that sexual fantasy is extremely sensitive, and any little thing can shatter it. Here's a real story a woman told me: She once dated a man.Both men are great when it comes to sex.She had also expected the relationship to last.Once when the two of them were in bed, man A suddenly said in disappointment: "I don't seem to be able to do it today." What happened?Later she realized: it turned out that there was a piece of waste paper on her buttocks!Probably she tore the toilet paper when she went to the bathroom, and left it on her body without paying attention. "Since then, he tried his best to avoid me, and finally left me. Could it be that a man can't have sex because of that little thing? Is he really leaving because I got toilet paper on my ass?" It can be seen that she came to consult with doubts, but my answer can only be "Yes!" For this, all men must feel the same.Because man A lost his sexual fantasies about her in an instant, and became sober. In contrast, if a piece of confetti sticks on the back of a man, a woman will never hate him and break up with him.It can also be said that this is the biggest difference between men and women.It may be too arbitrary to say this, but the actual situation is that a man's sexual fantasies will indeed be awakened at once by some trivial things. From this point of view, the ideal state of absolute love is different according to sex.If a woman loves a man absolutely, then the more she believes that it is absolute love, the more she can tolerate everything about him.Her measure of him could not be overemphasized.In other words, women's love for the opposite sex may include maternal love.Whether it is out of consciousness or instinct, maybe it is precisely because women know this that they hope to complete the stable form from anxiety to marriage. However, the irony is this: Absolute love must be weak as soon as it enters the realm of marriage.One can imagine the difficulty of keeping love alive under the same roof, in a stable environment protected by law.The factors that can break the man's sexual fantasies in daily life are everywhere.Therefore, even if there was an absolute love relationship between two people before marriage, the husband's sexual fantasies about his wife continued to be disillusioned in the married life, and they could only become a cohabitation relationship in the end. In Huajieliuxiang, most of the women in nightclubs are well versed in this characteristic of men.So in order not to destroy the man's sexual fantasies, they pay great attention to every bit of it.Here's what I heard from my "mum" in a bar: Even when traveling with a man she's been close to, she never lives in the same room.Be sure to go back to your room after the evening.She was afraid that her snoring or indecent sleep would destroy the other party's fantasy, and she didn't want the other party to see her sleepy look.She always reappeared in front of "him" the next morning dressed up.It can be seen how much she pays attention to maintaining the vitality between the two. As I wrote this, a woman's face full of displeasure appeared in front of my eyes, and she seemed to say dismissively: "That woman only flatters and pleases men!" Indeed, I can understand the anger of women, The same is true of the facts.However, I hope that women will not forget the aforementioned means of disguising themselves even after marriage.To some extent, the more a man sees a woman happy, the less he will find another new love.Of course, men can't just ask women, and don't forget to pretend to be yourself. Having said that, how easy is it to disguise each other while living together in such a small room today? However, men do not deny marriage.They believe that marriage is different from absolute love. The former is compromised, but it is very meaningful and should be cherished.However, when a man maintains a sexual relationship with his wife in married life, he first hopes to have children and establish a family; secondly, he has sexual fantasies about his wife.Of course, on most occasions, a man gets close to his wife because of love.However, with the passage of time, the content of love has changed. In most cases, tenderness has become perfunctory.In the end they see sex with their wives as an obligation, which is the real reason why men call marriage "compromised love". That being said, they don't dislike their wives, and in real life they moderately value their presence.After the child is born, they will go to cultivate the family love centered on the child again.However, this is indeed a love that is premised on absolute sexual love but is different from absolute love.It doesn't matter if there is no absolute love in daily life, but since you are a couple, you need sex.If there is no sex, it might as well be called a life partner or co-resident. All in all, in order to maintain absolute love, both husband and wife must work together.However, in the current marriage relationship, it is very difficult to do this. So, how to solve this problem? As the only solution, it may be more ideal to adopt the "tryst-style" marriage system that was once popular among nobles in the Heian period.However, considering the housing situation in Japan today, this is also difficult to do. Therefore, the so-called absolute love is ultimately just a fleeting illusion, which is difficult to compete with the years. However, although people are well aware of this, they often yearn for absolute love and hold some unrealistic fantasies.实际上是否一起去死并不重要，但为自己所爱的人敢于献身却是极其好的事情。能够尽一生去爱一个人，其充实感是任何事物都无与伦比的。从某种意义上说，这么强烈的人生体验是人的一生中不可多得的。 献身精神是随时间飘移的，但是，能够在某个瞬间点燃生命的火花的人与不能做到这点的人相比何者更幸福，何者的人生更加绚丽多彩呢？恐怕这是个不问自明的问题。