Chapter 13 Chapter Twelve Wife's Infidelity Wife's Infidelity

Husbands are almost invariably embarrassed, aggrieved, and furious when they learn their wives have been unfaithful.Interesting fact: the degree of their rage is consistent with the degree of love for their wives. For the Japanese, it is not uncommon for the wife to cry and cry because of her husband's infidelity.Wives feel free to tell friends or relatives about their husband's infidelity, and those around them offer sympathy, encouragement, and comfort. However, on the contrary, under normal circumstances, it is rare to see a husband lamenting and crying because of his wife's infidelity.In fact, it is not that few people encounter that kind of bad luck, but because there is a certain social idea that binds men, that is, "men should not sigh and weep about personal things in front of others."Occasionally someone who does that will be called "unmanly" or "too effeminate" by others, so they will be looked down upon even more.

That is to say: women are fit to whine.Because they can get sympathy and comfort when they cry out, even if they complain, it is not considered indecent.However, men are not fit to whine.If they dare to complain, they can only be despised, and nothing else will be gained. If a wife says something to her husband such as "If you leave me, I will die", then most husbands will change their minds and stay with their wives.But, on the contrary, if a husband says to his wife, "I can't live without you," then perhaps some wives will be moved; but most wives will just treat him as a wretch and alienate him.

Due to this difference in social concepts, most men only feel angry inside when they notice their wives being unfaithful, and bear the blow, but they still treat their wives calmly on the surface, pretending to be deaf and dumb to what happened.Of course, husbands will also be furious when they first learn about the situation, but men want to save face, so few people contact each other when they are in a rage.Especially the so-called outstanding men are not used to acting abruptly, they try their best to control that kind of emotion. At play behind this lack of direct action is the fear that men who berate their wives in a fit of rage and tell her to “get out” might actually cause the wives to run away from home.

This is not because men are naturally cowardly, but if their wives really run away from home, their lives will immediately be in trouble, such as: how to arrange life from tomorrow?Especially for families with children, if the wife abandons the children, then they can't even guarantee their jobs.Therefore, many men can foresee many inconveniences in life when their wives are about to leave. Moreover, men will never tell others about their wives running away from home because of having an affair.If that kind of thing spreads to other people's ears, as a man, it can be said that he loses face.With so many concerns and fears in place beforehand, it can be difficult for men to take a decisive approach.

Although the relationship between husband and wife is already very tense, the men still pretend that nothing happened in front of friends and relatives, trying their best to cover up everything. However, these are not without becoming their mental burden, and some of them even suffer from neurosis and psychosomatic disease. In recent years, the number of men suffering from the infidelity of their wives has been on the rise.But the reason why the exposure rate is not high is that in a sense, men are too reluctant to publicize because they swallow their anger too much or take care of their face.

However, some women often say: "Women are sensitive, so they can immediately detect the infidelity of their husbands, but men are insensitive, so it is difficult to detect the infidelity of their wives." In fact, this view is their illusion, as just described That way: Although a man finds out about his wife's infidelity, he acts deaf and dumb. As soon as most wives suspect that their husbands are having an affair, they immediately ask their husbands directly: "Are you having an affair?"Even if they can forgive their husband's infidelity in the end, they will also warn their opponents that "I already know it myself", and she will often bring up the old things in the future to expose her husband's scars.

However, men will never ask their wives: "Are you having an affair?" Even if they have doubts, they will carefully consider the way they should react.Because they are worried that if they press the question in private and the wife admits it frankly, they will feel ashamed and lose face.In short, they are afraid of knowing the truth.In a sense, husbands are more afraid of embarrassment than cheating wives. Therefore, even if they find out that their wives are having an affair for sure, the men just say: "Is it a little late to come back recently?" "Is the makeup too heavy?"If the wife retorts: "That's not the case!" The man will not press on.Although they were muttering and angry in their hearts, on the surface, they still acted as if nothing had happened.That being said, men still want their wives to hold back in their hearts.

Even if the husband occasionally wants to ask a little more seriously, he just asks gently: "Have you often dated that man recently?" Instead of asking directly: "Have you had an affair?" In this regard, if the wife argues: "It's just a relationship with that man at work, and we often eat together." I don't doubt you, but people's words are scary, you have to take care of yourself." In this way, a woman may think that "the man is insensitive after all and has not discovered the problem", so she is deeply relieved. In fact, she may see the problem too simply.

Let's give an example here: Someone works in a publishing house and is a very hardworking person.Take the initiative to find something to do every day and work late.Sometimes I go out for drinks with my friends after get off work, and then I have to go back to the company to continue working.A colleague with a very close relationship felt strange and asked him the reason, and he told the truth: "When I think that my wife may not be there when I go home, I dare not go back." This gentleman's wife continues to work after getting married, and has obtained a considerable position. Recently, she often comes home late at night.In this way, if he returns home but his wife has not yet returned, he will have the idea of ​​"whether his wife is having an affair".As a result, suspicion and ghosts will make him restless.Even so, it was difficult for him to ask her: "Why do you always come back so late?" If he asked, there might be a quarrel or even a breakup.Fearing trouble, he stayed late at work and came home after his wife.

That is to say, he had already noticed that his wife was having an affair, but he didn't want to be suspicious, so he worked overtime at the company until late at night.From the standpoint of a bystander, the later he goes back, the more his wife feels at ease, and thus the more emotionally alienated from him.In short, after all, there are still weak men like him who are sticky and only worry. This is how men try not to see or know about their wives' infidelity. Even if they know who their wives are cheating on, they don't necessarily respond as quickly as wives do when they know who their husbands are cheating on. .

At this time, the first thing a man thinks of is his own face, and he will warn himself not to ignore face.Because he is afraid of hurting himself when he sees his rival in love, he has a sense of inferiority.If you go to meet your rival in private, then once you find that the other party is more attractive and financially richer than yourself, he will be completely crushed and suffer great psychological trauma. What is even more tragic is that a man will become impotent after seeing his wife's lover.This situation may not matter to women, but as said earlier, men's sexuality is extremely psychological.Therefore, there are not a few cases of impotence caused by inferiority complex among men.That is to say, the wife's affair will cause fatal damage to the man's sex. So, under what circumstances will a man suspect that his wife is having an affair? The first is a disturbance in the sexual life between the couple. In general, women alienate or avoid sexual intercourse with their husbands once they have other men.Women are different from men at this point. Men can have sex with women they don't love, but women can't.Although they didn't want to arouse suspicion from their husbands, in order to avoid their husbands, their attitude would be clearly shown on the bed.When her husband made the request, at first she evaded it with excuses such as feeling unwell and tired.However, if you often refuse, your husband will become suspicious.In addition, sometimes although she complied with her husband's request, she herself was not interested, perfunctory or more enthusiastic than before, and so on.From these subtle reactions, the husband can perceive the wife's infidelity. On the contrary, if the husband is having an affair, the wife can judge it mostly from the smell of perfume on his body and his behavior.However, it's not that husbands are bad at seeing these aspects, it's that wives are good at hiding them.Therefore, most men are suspicious when making love.Perhaps this is the difference in the way men and women smell each other's affair. Once the wife is really suspected of being unfaithful, the husband will also show subtle changes in bed. Imagination is an extremely remarkable ability of human beings.When a husband suspects his wife of being unfaithful, it works badly: He mentally pictures his wife having sex with other men.In his imaginary world, his wife must do better with his rivals in love; they will show joy and ugliness that they have never had before in making love with him... The more he thinks about it, the more he will bear the burden of inferiority , and thus crushed by something never seen before. If this continues, the result will be very tragic.Even if he maintains the previous relationship with his wife, he will not be able to achieve satisfactory sexual intercourse due to the influence of his imagination, which may eventually lead to impotence. Imagining that you can't satisfy your wife and that man can do it is a fatal blow to a man, a failure of his own manhood, or it means that he has lost his qualifications.Therefore, going on like this will definitely have a huge impact on the man's body. In addition, the husband will have a strong sense of filth when he thinks that his wife has been hugged by other men, and the dregs of other men still remain in her body, and she will hate the other party even more. As mentioned above, knowing that a wife is unfaithful can be fatal to a husband, both mentally and physically.At this point, if they still don't press their wives and continue to pretend to be deaf and dumb, they will obviously be anxious: alcoholism, life disorder, and lack of enthusiasm for work.In addition, as the price of their wives betraying themselves, some people love their children extraordinarily, and even show a strong love for cats and dogs.At this time, they can only comfort themselves with children or animals within their power. In this case, the most painful thing for a man is that he cannot tell his relatives and friends the fact that he is extremely distressed by his wife’s infidelity. On the contrary, he can only be depressed by himself.Perhaps this is the tragedy of men in terms of sex. Just now we gave an example of a husband pretending to be deaf and dumb to his wife's infidelity. However, in real life, there are also husbands who are very careful with their wives. Husbands who can do this are so socially and financially privileged that they don't care if their wives run away.Most of these men have many girlfriends, so they are confident enough to question their wives. In the final analysis, the relationship between men and women or between husband and wife is a relationship of power confrontation.Due to the advantages and disadvantages of their positions and the strength of their forces, the responses of the two sides are also different. Wives who are completely dependent on their husbands are very worried that if their husbands leave, they will lose their financial support, so they dare not delve into the husband's infidelity and are willing to endure everything in front of them. The husbands of the daily diet and the children, even though they knew that their wives were having an affair, they had no choice but to forgive them. In recent years, the power of women has become stronger and stronger. Therefore, even if husbands know that their wives have deviant behavior, they dare not speak out and ask harshly, but bear it willingly. However, these husbands are kind-hearted people, they work in very good companies, and they have both status and face. If this is not the case, for example, if the male protagonist is a member of the underworld, they have neither status nor face, and they will make a big noise and even resort to violence when encountering the aforementioned situation.Even if the man does not belong to the underworld, if he lacks the heart of a man and doesn't speak decent words, he might do ridiculous things. Of course, when there is sufficient evidence that the wife is having an affair, action is necessary. Nowadays, the number of wives who do not want to break up with their husbands who have had affairs and the number of husbands who do not want to divorce their wives who have had affairs are increasing.From another perspective, the so-called relationship between husband and wife is not entirely maintained by love. Even if the state of mutual understanding cannot be reached, and both parties have their own lovers, the formal relationship between husband and wife can still be maintained. It can be seen that modern couples have a false name. Especially when there are children, most couples continue to maintain the relationship in order to fulfill their obligations as fathers or mothers.In line with the spirit of the ethical outline of all considerations for children, coupled with seeing through the "virtual world" of "the so-called husband and wife are nothing more than mediocrity", many men and women involuntarily gave up the idea of ​​divorce. If it were before the war, the situation between husband and wife would be very different.At that time, husbands not only completely dominated their wives financially, but also in a sense, they provided all-round protection for their wives.Since the man occupies an absolute dominant position in the balance of power, the wife's infidelity is a great act of rebellion against her husband, so it is absolutely not allowed.Once the wife has an affair, she will be beaten and abandoned. However, the balance of power between husband and wife in this era is completely different from that before the war.If you marry a working woman as your wife, the forces on both sides will almost be divided.In addition, when I was a student, there were far more outstanding girls than boys, but now it can be said that the real prosperity of yin and the decline of yang.That is to say, now male patriarchal thought is gradually being indifferent.In a sense, it can even be said that men live by their wives. As women continue to step into society, the original relationship between men and women and between husband and wife has also changed. The so-called essential question of "what is a couple" has inevitably produced a trend of turbulence with the changes of the times. In the future, there may be an increase in the number of couples who have an affair but can maintain a complete family. Recently, young men are increasingly unable to deal with interpersonal relationships or express themselves; they lack the courage to actively court women.In contrast, women are largely proactive.Passive, waiting, even if this kind of man is "betrayed" by his wife in the future, he can only endure it blindly.Moreover, if this trend spreads, wives will become less satisfied with husbands who only have tender feelings, and they may seek more manly lovers outside. Once upon a time, a married woman was punished with adultery if she had sex with another man.Therefore, if you want to deviate, in a sense, you must make a mortal determination.Therefore, women's infidelity at that time may have been premised on their determination to abandon their families from the very beginning. In other words, only having an affair was their real pursuit. However, most wives in modern life do not seek an affair with the above-mentioned firm beliefs.They did not plan to divorce their husbands from the beginning, but just wanted to seek excitement and entertainment easily.Especially after the age of thirty-five, they don't need to spend too much energy to take care of their children, and they also have the anxiety of losing their youth, so they naturally have the desire to "make a double score".After marriage, with the passage of time, there is almost no romantic sentiment between them and their husbands. When they think that their blooming season as women will disappear so quickly, they are really unwilling.Therefore, if a man appeared at this juncture who still regarded himself as a woman, maybe she would happily associate with him. When this happens, most wives feel ashamed of their husbands, and in the end they all want to come back to their husbands and forgive them for a moment of absurdity.This is hardly different from the old man's desire for his wife to forgive him for a little licentiousness. All in all, just like men who deviate from their husbands do not want to destroy the family, so many modern wives seem to want to maintain the family despite being unfaithful to their husbands. Judging from this trend, regardless of whether the relationship between husband and wife is good or bad, we can say that the number of couples who have the above-mentioned tendency can no longer be divided in half, and the wife may already occupy a 60% advantage. Equality between husband and wife is the ideal pursued by modern society. Although it is a symbol of a happy husband and wife, at the same time, it prompts both husband and wife to be unfaithful to each other, making the relationship between husband and wife not worthy of the name. irony.