Chapter 6 Chapter 5 Memories of the Body Memories of the Body

As far as love is concerned, which one is more important, the body or the spirit? After a relationship ends, how much physical memory can be retained?Regarding this issue, I am afraid that everyone has thought about it based on their own experience.The physical and spiritual relationship with the meaning of love is indeed mysterious and profound.Because of this, it has been the subject of widespread attention so far as the subject of literary works and movies. It is true that the two, body and mind, are inseparable. Those who are physically and mentally mature, no matter who they are, hope to have further communication with their sweetheart, including physical communication.The deepening of spiritual love will promote the deepening of physical love, and vice versa.The spirit and the body can be said to be the two wings of love. If the two are well balanced, the love between the two parties will be further sublimated.

But in fact, the relationship between men and women is difficult to develop as smoothly as previously imagined.Sometimes it only stays in spiritual love, and sometimes it takes the lead in the physical aspect, followed by the spirit to keep up and gradually sublimate.Among women, some people think that love that begins with a physical relationship is impure, and they don't believe in love that comes from sex, but some men don't think so.For them, even if the other party is just a woman they started dating based on their appearance and demeanor at first, as the physical relationship deepens, their love will gradually sprout and grow.

Physical and spiritual issues are difficult to generalize, this is the magic of sex.Its complexity, profundity and eccentricity make it an eternal theme of literary works, film and television audio and video. In this chapter, we will discuss in depth the relationship between body and spirit centered on love. Love between men and women is not static.From time to time, the enthusiasm of one party begins to decline, and the feelings are not specific, which gradually causes cracks in the relationship between the two parties.After such a problem occurs, some people think: Since the hard-won love is irretrievable, it is better to simply give up.Having said that, in fact, the physical attachment between two people is sometimes very strong, and it is difficult to say that it is divided at once; but if the mutual physical attachment is very strong, then it can indeed be resolved relatively easily. Many contradictions.Presumably many people have such experience.After a quarrel, if both parties can take the initiative to use the tool of sex, they can often receive the expected reconciliation effect.In this regard, some women will retort: ​​"This kind of thinking is really naive, and it despises women too much." Although things cannot be generalized, but if you think about it calmly, women will not be more or less tolerant during the process. The other party's mood?Whether it is asserted that it is a trick to deceive people, or attributed to the mysterious power of the flesh, one thing is undeniable, that is, sex is indeed an indispensable lubricant between men and women.

In short, the physical bond belongs to a different field from ethics and rationality, and it has many inconceivable features that are difficult to explain with common sense.Deep spiritual communication, coupled with a close physical connection, can be said to be the ideal relationship between a man and a woman.Unfortunately, not every couple can reach this level in real life.Among them, although the love is very deep spiritually, the two eventually broke up because of the fragility of the physical bond; there are also cases where the body is above the rational, deeply indulging in the physical charm of the other party, and unable to extricate themselves.

A few years ago, the high-profile movie "The Piano Lesson" is a movie that describes the power of sex between men and women beyond the power of reason. I believe many people have seen this movie.The heroine in the film is not only burdened by children, but also has language barriers.Her boyfriend is kind-hearted and insists on marrying her after knowing all this. However, she betrayed her educated and financially powerful husband and had sex with a masculine man.In fact, she herself is not as wild and unruly as people speculate, but a shy, sometimes even stiff woman.She once made people feel that her heart was wrapped in a thick layer of armor.However, it was such a woman who suddenly committed herself to a man with a rough appearance but a delicate heart one day.Through physical communication, the two have a strong sensual desire, and then a passionate love. In the end, the heroine leaves her husband for this reason.In other words, the rational husband did not open her heart, but the wild and dangerous man managed to get into the depths of her heart through sex.This film, directed by a female director, profoundly reveals the secrets of female sexuality through women themselves, and has attracted widespread attention from all over the world.

Physical ties sometimes have the power to make people abandon a stable life. In contrast, women are more likely to be captured by physical feelings.We have talked about this many times, and it is mainly determined by the different ways men and women experience sexual pleasure. The pleasure that men get from sexual intercourse is nothing more than the pleasure of ejaculation.Since the first masturbation and ejaculation, this feeling has not changed significantly throughout my life.In contrast, after women lose their virginity in pain, their sexual feelings will become increasingly rich and sensitive, so that they can finally fully appreciate the pleasure of sex.Therefore, a woman is often very attached to the man who guides her into the mystery of sex in the process.This is reflected in the subsequent sexual life. If it is not for the original man and his sexual style, it will be difficult for the woman to achieve orgasm.

Women who only repeat the monotonous sex life with their husbands year after year and have lost most of their interest in sex, once they have sex with other men by chance and feel the pleasure of sex strongly for the first time, they are easily obsessed other side.Sometimes knowing that the other party has no ability to live, but for the pleasure that others cannot replace, it is difficult to make up your mind to break up with him, and even don't hesitate to pay for the man to maintain the status quo. Compared with such women, men are less eager to maintain a romantic relationship with a particular woman.The reason has already been mentioned above. The pleasure that men get through ejaculation does not change with different opponents, and unlike women, their feelings about sex will gradually mature as the relationship between the two parties gradually deepens.Compared with women, the pleasure that men get through sex only stays at a shallow level, and it is difficult to go deep.So for them, bedtime sex with a particular partner is less likely to impress.Sexually sensitive and experienced women may not understand this.

To sum up, men can take the initiative in making love because their own level of sexual pleasure is low.Because if he has reached the state of selflessness and lost self-control, then he will not be able to guide the other party.From this point of view, although the physiological structures and functions of men and women are different, if they can cooperate effectively with each other according to their respective physiological characteristics, both parties can conclude a harmonious sexual relationship. So far, we have always believed that men have relatively weak physical memory, but this is not absolute.Compared with women, men have their own characteristics in how they feel about sex and how they like it.Men's feelings about sex are mainly composed of the way two people make love, the reaction of the other party and the touch of the skin.

Before gaining heterosexual experience, men have already experienced sexual pleasure through masturbation.But until the actual combat stage, he still didn't know exactly what to do.For example, when making love for the first time, where is the female genitalia located, and how to enter it is more appropriate. Men who still maintain their virginity are often uneasy and easily lose their composure when they make love for the first time.At this time, if there is an older and experienced woman who properly induces and teaches various positions and methods, then she will become an indelible part of his memory in life.

In addition, the way of making love, the degree of intensity and the woman's physiological response, etc., are all factors that leave a deep impression on men. In short, compared with the sexual pleasure itself, the rich and varied sexual ways, the endless sexual skills and the sexual response made by the woman, etc., are more attractive to men.Therefore, many men pay special attention to what position to use and which sexual skills to try next time in their sexual life. Some people use sex products to increase the diversity of their sexual life. The process by which men gradually acquire sexual skills is similar to how animals learn to hunt.Lion cubs have the same appetite as adults, but do not know how to catch prey.Under the leadership of the adult lions, after personally participating in the hunt, the cubs gradually mastered the technical essentials of hunting, such as "If the prey escapes like this, it should be chased like this", "If you catch this part of the prey, you're done." such experience.The same applies to men.

If you want to let a woman commit herself to herself and bring her pure pleasure without any embarrassment, you must slowly explore the knack through many practical experiences. The reason why men are keen on sexual skills rather than pursuing their own actual sexual pleasure is because they hope to accumulate in this area so that they can gain more dominance in actual sexual life, and at the same time they are eager to show their strength as men. charm.This characteristic of men makes their understanding of sexual love focus on sexual methods. Of course, there are also men who are obsessed with making love to a particular woman and cannot extricate themselves.But generally this needs to meet the following conditions: that is, when the tryst is charming, the other party is sexy and attractive, and the other party's response is sensitive and rich. At this time, it is the female body and reaction that can leave a lasting impression in the man's memory, not just the momentary pleasure.This is different from the simplicity of female sexuality. All in all, if a man indulges in sex, he will inevitably get closer to the other party spiritually and feel that it is difficult to separate from the other party.The same is true for women, even if they don't have much affection at first, once they meet each other, they will gradually fall in love with each other.At this time, it is difficult to distinguish between the body and the spirit, and which one is dominant.In fact, it can only be said that the two complement each other and interact with each other. Go back and watch the movie again.As a movie with the theme of describing the unforgettable and unchanging sex, "The Storm of Love" is unforgettable and shocking. The heroine, the Jewish girl Lucia, was imprisoned by the Nazis in a concentration camp during World War II, and what awaited her was death.Max, an SS officer, was so impressed by Lukia's beauty that he plundered Lukia as his sex toy on the condition of letting her live. With the development of the sexual relationship between the two, Lucia gradually noticed subtle changes in the master-servant relationship between them.Max really fell in love with Lucia and obeyed her.Although at first Max was driven by pure sexual desire to possess Lucia, but later he fell in love with Lucia involuntarily. In the beginning, there is an insurmountable gap between Max as the master and Lucia as the sex slave.Max greedily enslaves Lucia, but Lucia is powerless to resist and can only compromise.As Max falls under Lucia's pomegranate skirt, Lucia becomes arrogant and sexually dominant.The relationship between the two gradually evolved into a relationship between masochism and masochism.Max bowed down in front of Lucia, obeying her like a servant.Lucia feels Max's love beyond pure sexual desire, and deeply realizes that for Max, her existence is irreplaceable. If there is no physical relationship, but only pure spiritual love, I am afraid that such changes will never occur in the relationship between upper and lower levels.However, sex from the flesh can really reverse the original insurmountable hierarchical relationship as described in this movie.While Lucia takes the dominant role in their sexual love, her flesh also shows unusual resonance for Max's unusual love, thus obtaining sexual satisfaction.In this sexual love where the god of death will come at an unknown time, the two release great passion and endlessly pursue each other's body. At this time, neither of them felt that love had sprouted between them.Especially Lucia, faced with the Nazi officers who enslaved Jews like cats and dogs, slaughtered them arbitrarily, and used themselves as sexual objects to play with in their hands, she not only had no love, but had infinite hatred on the contrary.The reason why he submits to Max's morbid sexual demands, and even actively caters to them, is simply because doing so can enable him to survive.Lu Qiya decided that this was just an unfortunate experience under special circumstances, and she would never fall in love with this kind of man. However, fate left a deep imprint of this hateful sex on Lucia's body. After the end of World War II, Lucia, who regained her freedom, married a conductor and lived a stable and prosperous life.Once, her husband was employed as a conductor at the Vienna State Theater, and the couple went to Vienna together to stay in a local hotel. There, Lucia met Max who worked anonymously at the front desk of this hotel.Seeing each other suddenly, both of them panicked and terrified.The nightmare of the concentration camp appeared again in Lucia's mind, and Max was afraid that Lucia would report him.Lucia immediately asked her husband to leave the hotel, but the unaware husband just reassured her: "There is nothing to be afraid of." She still stayed in the hotel.Soon, Lukia's husband went out for business, and Max, who was in a panic all day long, broke into Lukia's room, screaming loudly: "Why are you here!" Desperately looking for a way of escape.And when the two were fighting together and getting entangled, the memory of sex more than ten years ago suddenly emerged, and the two greedily devoured each other's body like animals. This chance encounter greatly changed Lucia's fate.After Lu Qiya broke up with her husband, she still stayed in Vienna alone. In order to prevent Lu Qiya from escaping, Max locked her with a lock every day before going to work.But after Max's former accomplices knew about Lucia, they forced Max to drive Lucia away.Desperate Max and Lucia hide in the room, both indulge in crazy sex.In the end, both were killed by the remnants of the Nazis. While affirming people's nostalgia for sex, this movie vividly describes the world of sex between men and women that transcends reason and logic and goes against common sense.After its release, this film, which was directed by a female director like "The Piano Lesson", caused a sensation all over the world and received support from many women. Here, let us take a brief look at the relationship between Lucia and her husband.Lucia's husband is a gentleman who can be seen at a glance to be extremely well-bred and elegant. He loves Lucia deeply and can be said to be impeccable as a husband.But it is hard to imagine that the sexual pleasure he brings to Lucia cannot be compared with Max's. Although he looks impeccable on the outside, he is sexually mediocre.Because of this, when Lucia sees Max again, the sexual fire between the two is rekindled.Then Lucia did not want to go back to her husband at all.In the end, she chose Max who was at a disadvantage in external conditions, which also led to her misfortune in the end. The reason why the protagonist Lucia's love revives again is probably related to the fact that her husband's sexual performance is not as good as her previous man.If Lucia hadn't had such intense and touching sex in her past life, she might have no complaints about her husband and family now, and she would stick to it for the rest of her life.Even if I sometimes feel empty or dissatisfied, at most I would comfort myself and say, "That's what a so-called marriage is all about." She would never think of abandoning her husband who loves her unreservedly.In other words, if her husband can give her more vital sex and erase her past memories, then Lucia will not be captured by the deformed sex in the past and eventually go crazy. The sex between Lucia and Max was so intense and crazy that Lucia still couldn't let go of it many years later, and it was closely related to the special environment of panic and life and death at that time.On the contrary, in the peaceful times of life, can ordinary marriage really bring the kind of intoxicating sex?I'm afraid it will be very difficult. After watching "The Storm of Love", we will understand that women's sexual feelings are very stable things.In this way, it is not difficult to understand that men often feel anxious about their girlfriend's past, right? Through the example of Lu Qiya, we can also see that there are actually not many, or very few, unforgettable sex that can dominate a woman for a long time.However, there are many men who are very concerned about their girlfriend's experience in this regard, sometimes to the point of neuroticism. For a woman who is sexually mature and sexually attractive, a man will always feel an uncontrollable jealousy; his mind is always "Which man led her out of her virginity and let her experience it?" to sexual pleasure" and the like.This complex emotion tormented the man heavily, made him feel timid, and stabbed his self-esteem. For women, however, nothing is more important than the "now" moment.As long as everything is safe and harmonious and happy now, the past can be gradually forgotten as a distant past. But in real life, there are always some men who are entangled with the past of their girlfriends, and always think that women are creatures that are easily captured by past sexual experiences.In fact, instead of being so delusional, it is better to make some real efforts to love the other party in your own unique way, use this love to influence the other party, and cover the memory of her previous love.But the problem is that many men don't make any efforts in this area, but just blindly suspect their girlfriend's past.They secretly hope that the best partner to marry is a virgin, so they limit the scope of choosing friends to those girls who have no experience in the sexes, which fully shows that these people lack the self-confidence of men. In general, among men of the cultivated or intellectual type, many lack masculine sexuality.These people often lack the ability to attract women and make women forget the past completely due to their own reasons.On the other hand, their jealousy is very strong.For men of the literati type, their self-esteem does not allow them to express their jealousy directly, so they often vent their jealousy and dissatisfaction indirectly through tortuous channels. Another reason why men are so obsessed with their girlfriend's past is that many men themselves often think of their former lovers, hoping to meet again and develop the relationship further if possible.Inferring women's psychology based on men's psychology will only lead men into a vicious circle of self-torture. Compared with men, women can be regarded as realists.If they are satisfied with their current partner, they will not dwell on the past.This is hard to understand from a man's point of view.So it is easy for a man to pay too much attention to the past of his female partner and feel indescribably jealous about it. Men stubbornly believe that as long as the other party has had a harmonious sexual relationship with them in the past, no matter how many years have passed after the breakup, the other party will continue to accept them when they meet again. However, this is just wishful thinking of men.If a man puts too much emphasis on the role of sex or believes in his own charm, he will have the above illusions.For the long-existing sexual relationship, men are often still self-righteous, feel good about themselves, and blindly believe that the partner who has already broken up is still nostalgic for their own sexual skills and ways. I once heard such a story from a woman who divorced fifteen years ago.The woman's ex-husband still calls her once a year, asking to meet.However, she didn't want to see him at all, so she directly rejected him on the phone.The ex-husband was very reconciled to this, and chased after him: "Stop putting on airs, weren't we very involved before?" To imply that the two had had frenzied sex in the past.Whenever this happened, the woman always felt a strong sense of disgust and humiliation. Of course, there are also women who behave in the opposite way in such situations.Generally speaking, compared with men, as long as the current life is happy and peaceful, women will not be troubled by the past life.In other words, only those who are dissatisfied with the status quo will blindly miss the past. It is often the case that a boyfriend who has broken up or a male friend who meets again at an alumni association will sometimes come to contact and hope to meet with the excuse that "it has been a long time".At this time, although the man did not say it clearly, he often had the hope of going to Wushan together again.The women who come to the appointment generally hold a faint sentimentality, and in this regard, there is a clear difference between them and the men who secretly hope to score twice. After a man with such small calculations goes to the appointment, once he finds that the woman has no such intention, his mood will change a lot immediately, he will suddenly become indifferent, and even start to secretly hate the woman.Although this situation is not absolute, it is still necessary to remind the ladies to be more careful, so as not to cause misunderstanding and trouble. What is the imprint of love that can be left by sex? Is it enough to only have passionate sex or master certain skills?No, in fact, the most important thing is probably still spiritual love.Without this kind of spiritual love, the imprint of love is out of the question. Let us recall, in the movie "The Piano Lesson", did the heroine's husband ever fully open his heart to his wife, love his wife with all his heart, or try to understand his wife, try to open her heart?I am afraid that this husband who pays attention to face and status only unilaterally asks the other party to do that, but he has never tried hard to love his wife from beginning to end.Although he has an elegant manner and a soft temperament, he has no courage to sacrifice everything for love.For him, self-esteem, status and way of life occupy the first place; the second is the corresponding love between men and women, and a beautiful wife is just a decoration to satisfy his vanity.This attitude towards love is naturally revealed in the sex between men and women.Sensitive women feel this almost instinctively, and they are overwhelmed by a deep sense of insecurity. Max in "A Storm of Love" initially possesses a Jewish woman on the sly, then falls in love with her.In fact, this was not allowed at the time, and Max knew it, but he still chose this path that would lead to his personal destruction.Lucia instinctively felt his fearless love through their frenzied sex.So when the memory of past sex broke through the gap and resurfaced again, the two immediately resumed their previous relationship without hesitation. For a split second, Lucia chose the more sincere and honest Max from the two. From this point of view, if you want to leave a good memory about sex, you need not only strong sexual pleasure, but also a spiritual satisfaction of being loved. However, many men always mistakenly believe that as long as two people are harmonious, they can make the other party unable to leave themselves.He often pays attention to external things such as sexual skills, but ignores the essence of sexual gratification. Only when the spirit is invested with true affection, can the two love each other to achieve the real unity of soul and body. For such love, women will not feel happy.This kind of love that achieves a high degree of unity of soul and body can only be realized when both parties have achieved a great sense of harmony and satisfaction in both spiritual and sexual love, and the two are indispensable.Among them, sex does have a mysterious power.It overrides reason, and it can sometimes even destroy a relationship that is about to mature.It is this mysterious power that makes the love between men and women more complicated and colorful. Therefore, it may not be appropriate to exaggerate or underestimate the power of sex.If you underestimate the bond of sex, you may lose your precious lover; if you think you can easily control your body through reason, you may fall into an unexpected emotional vortex as a result.That said, the flesh sometimes betrays what it has been so far quite simply. Sex is a very magical thing. Sometimes it can change a person, let him discover his true self and cultivate a new self.This is also the mystery and sublime of sex.