Chapter 5 Chapter 4 The Virgin Complex The Virgin Complex

It is often said: "A man always desires to be the first man to the woman he loves, and a woman hopes to be the last woman to be her man." differences between men and women in ways. It is true that deep down a man always longs to be the first man of his woman, and this is what we call a virgin complex.In traditional weddings, the bride wears a white and flawless wedding dress, which symbolizes that her heart and body dedicated to her lover are as pure and flawless as the wedding dress she wears. This idea of ​​admiring virginity is still followed today. If the man hears rumors about his partner before the engagement, such as: "Hey, boy, be careful, that woman has a lot of lace news." He would be hesitant, and it was even heard from time to time that the marriage contract would eventually fall through.

If the woman is not a virgin, even in modern times, I am afraid that there will be troubles after marriage.In contrast, women's chastity requirements for men are very weak. Among women, almost no one is required to marry their virginity.So what is the reason for this difference in the concept of chastity between men and women? In the heart of a man seeking a virgin, apart from the longing for something that has never been touched by others, there is also a hidden desire to manipulate the woman he loves according to his wishes.Specifically, this includes an expectation of a man, namely: "If I can associate with a woman who is still a virgin, won't she be able to mature sexually as I imagined?"

But if we think about it from another angle, we will find that there is also a masculine mentality hidden in this idea that men can transform women as they like, and regard women as playthings. It may be too much to say that it is a plaything, but the idea that men want to be in a dominant position is indeed undeniable. The hysteria of virginity, and the idea that men can transform women as they please, arose after the medieval Kamakura period.They were fixed with the establishment of the samurai social order.They can be said to be the product of a male-centered society. Regarding this point, Hashia Akiko, who participated in the Women's Liberation Movement, once said: "Obviously, respect for virginity is caused by men's insistence." She believes that the so-called chastity and virginity complex are nothing but men's unilateral Just desire.

This assertion is so true that there is no room for refutation.But when we start to explore the inner world of men who advocate virginity, we will find that there is a deep anxiety hidden in it, that is, they worry that if the other party is not a virgin, they may be deeply affected by previous sexual experience and deeply marked by sexual experience. The imprint of the sexual habits of the former boyfriend, and will be too mature in the sexual aspect. Men can't stand being compared sexually by their girlfriends with her ex-boyfriends, which is related to men's lack of self-confidence in sex.Therefore, as far as men are concerned, behind the psychology of pursuing a pure virginity, there is actually a sense of uneasiness and naivety in male sexuality. Therefore, the virginity complex cannot be simply equated with the yearning for pure love.

In modern society, the number of women who believe that they must be virgins before marriage has been greatly reduced.It is not uncommon for women to fall in love many times before marriage and have had relationships with several men.On the other hand, although many men still hope that the woman they date is a virgin, they have realized that this is not likely to be the case in real life. Even so, men are still obsessed with women's virginity, always wanting to confirm that the other party is a daughter.This is really difficult to handle.Experienced men are another matter. It is almost impossible to ask a man who knows little about women to do this.

The reason for saying this is because there are women who consciously pretend to be virgins in real life. Regardless of whether it is right or wrong to do so, the final effect often varies from person to person, and most of them depend on personal judgment.Therefore, although most men hope that the woman will keep the body of a daughter, if not, they can only knock down their front teeth and swallow it in their stomachs. They have no other choice. But no matter whether it is a man or a woman, they don't want their lover to still maintain a disconnected relationship with their former lover.Especially when he finds out that his lover still has a real memory of having sex with his former boyfriend, almost no man can bear it.At this time, no matter how beautiful and intelligent his girlfriend is, the man will not forgive her for it.Generally speaking, a man is a sexual animal, so once he loses to others in terms of sex, he will feel ashamed.

Marriage and love have their ups and downs.It is not uncommon for people to marry the person they like, but find that the other person is not suitable for them, and then feel disgusted.But from a man's point of view, if he can be sure that the other party is still a virgin when he is dating him, then he will always think "she dedicated her first time to me" in the future, so he will take a tolerant attitude towards his girlfriend . Having said that, the topic has to be changed.Previously, there was an incident in which a doctor killed his wife in Tsukuba.Regarding the motive of committing the crime, many people think that it was caused by the husband's distaste for his wife's previous heterosexual relationship.The doctor's wife, slightly older than the doctor, is a charming and charming woman with an unusually rich sexual experience.At first, the doctor was moved by his wild and unrestrained sexual charm, but after marriage, with the increase of quarrels, his wife's past history of heterosexual interactions began to stimulate the doctor's nerves.The doctor guessed that the wife was so sexy because she had had sex with all kinds of men in the past, and those affairs were still going on in the dark, that she didn't take me as a husband seriously at all.The doctor also felt that his wife was constantly comparing him to his former boyfriends and playing him for a fool.

This dangerous emotion kept accumulating, and finally broke out on a certain day. If a woman inadvertently expresses an attitude that makes a man lose his sexual self-esteem, it will often make the man hurt and make him retaliatory, and some people will even resort to violent means in order to vent.Behind the above-mentioned incidents, there is this complex psychology of men making waves. The reason why men are so obsessed with women's chastity and are repeatedly suspicious is that men's sexual behavior is largely controlled by emotions and fluctuates with their own mental conditions.

Let us analyze the process of male sexual behavior in detail.First of all, when the woman refuses to communicate with him sexually, he will feel very anxious.In other words, when the man asks for sex, and the woman only agrees to some degree, or does not respond at all, then there is no further context.As long as rape is not resorted to, no matter how much the man insists, the sexual behavior between the two will not develop smoothly. After breaking through the first difficulty, the problem that the man faces is whether his weapon can enter the fighting state smoothly.It is not uncommon for people to have sex with the woman they love, take off their clothes and immediately enter the state of sexual intercourse, but suddenly find that they have lost their combat effectiveness.

Once a man has distracting thoughts such as "this woman has tried a lot of tricks" or "maybe she has fallen in love with a man who is better than me before" or "does she think I am clumsy", then his body will Will naturally be affected by these obsessions and become disobedient. Undoubtedly, this is the most embarrassing scene for a man. It is hard for the woman to accept him, but he cannot respond accordingly. In this way, the man's face will be completely lost, and his ability as a male will also be destroyed. under suspicion.And the result of things is often like this: one failure will lead to a series of failures in the future, thus forming a vicious circle.

If the other party is a virgin, even if it fails, it doesn't matter.Because there is no need to worry about being compared with her former boyfriend.Use any excuse like "I'm a little tired tonight" or "I've had a little too much to drink" and you're good to go. The reason why men pay attention to virginity is also because they have this sense of security in case of unexpected events. Men like innocent women with gentle manners, not only because of their elegant temperament, but also because they have such an expectation in their hearts: they hope that such women will not behave too much when sharing the pleasure of bed.In addition, even if a man does not perform well, the other party will not complain.On the contrary, if they meet an experienced woman who has been on the battlefield, some men will be full of worry at the beginning, and then run away because of lack of self-confidence. This may only be due to the subjective assumptions of men.However, men do have this fear that if a woman has sex with a man, he will leave his mark on her body for a long time.In other words, what a man is worried about is that after a relationship between a man and a woman, the woman will become the man's private property, and he will never forget the "tenderness" and will always be attached to him. Medieval knights asked their wives to wear chastity belts before going out to battle, in order to prevent their wives from having sex with others when they were not around. Otherwise, they would be considered ashamed. Men generally take the initiative in sex and take pleasure in bringing happiness to the woman.For men, the pleasure of sex is not only in the moment of ejaculation, it is also an indescribable pleasure to develop the erogenous zone of the woman he loves, to give him pleasure, and to make her his captive.In short, the so-called man is a sexually insatiable and difficult creature who can only get real sexual pleasure after leading a woman to orgasm. If a woman gets more pleasure from other men than she gives herself, it is undoubtedly a serious injury to a man.Because it completely negates the existence value of a man who is obsessed with sex.So, men who are upset about this are always obsessed with his girlfriend's past, hoping that the marriage partner has never been touched by others.They struggled to find a woman who still maintained her virginity. So far, we have learned that the so-called virginity complex of men has something to do with their fragile and sensitive nerves. It is just the wishful thinking of immature men with strong self-awareness. Recently, the number of women who feel uncomfortable about being a virgin has started to increase, and the value of virginity has dropped a lot compared to before.Even so, as long as a man's sexual ability is still fluctuating, no matter how others criticize opinions such as "the over-admiration of virgins is a product of male society", the virginity complex will never fade away, and it will always be hidden in men. deep inside.