Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Psychosexual Behavior Psychosexual Behavior

As a first step in exploring male sexuality, let's examine male sexuality. The most important thing in this regard is the erection of the penis.If a man's penis is not erect, it is impossible to have sex with a woman.On this point, I am afraid that women will not have a deep understanding.Some women may dismiss the appearance of an erect penis as something bordering on animalistic brutality.In fact, it is an extremely sensitive and unspeakable behavior influenced by psychological factors. The physical act of erection is closely related to brain function.When it is strong, it may shrink due to a little thing, and this change is mostly affected by psychological factors.

As far as the simple erection itself is concerned, if you are young and vigorous, of course you will have a strong erection.However, on the other hand, there are many occasions where it is affected by factors such as whether I have self-confidence, sexual imagination, and external stimuli.In particular, whether there is self-confidence in sexual behavior, which comes from the influence of the spirit, plays a greater role.Therefore, it cannot be blindly believed that the younger you are, the stronger your erection power will be.In fact the problem is extremely complex. Calling the sexual behavior between a man and a woman a "physical relationship", I think this term only expresses one aspect of sex, and does not capture the essence of sex.For men, sex is, in a sense, a physical act.However, in essence, the spiritual factor also occupies a considerable weight, and it is inseparable from people's psychological state.

All in all, when a man is full of self-confidence, the penis is easy to erect; on the contrary, when a man is uneasy, timid or worried that something will happen, he is prone to impotence. The reasons are varied.There are personal factors as well as social factors, and we cannot simply generalize.For example: poor work, low energy, unstable status and income, even children's poor grades, disputes between wives and mother-in-law, etc., will cause men to worry and stress, thus weakening their penis erection.There are also many people who have fallen into a situation of impotence due to the exacerbation of this condition.

Especially in modern society, the age of forty can be called a watershed in life.Going up to a higher level may be able to enter the company's operation and management camp; it may also stand aside doing nothing; or it may become a big weapon that is reused. Although men at the age of 40 have less sexual desire than when they were young, they are relatively rich in terms of economy and society, and their sexual behavior has reached a proficient level.However, in recent years, many men who have reached the age of 40 have experienced impotence due to increased work pressure, and have even become victims of impotence.

What is different from the aforementioned problem is that sexual impotence also appeared in the age group of twenty to thirty years old, that is, among young men of marriageable age.Although men in this age group have stronger sexual desire than men in their forties, once they appear impotent, it is difficult to maintain a normal marriage relationship. Therefore, people can often hear young wives confide their distress in this way: "I have been married for so long, but he seldom touches my body." Due to incompetence, this understanding is generally not wrong.Of course, the reasons are varied, but most of them do come from spiritual aspects.

It can be seen that the erection of the penis is largely affected by physical factors such as social pressure, unstable life, fatigue, cold, and lack of sleep.In other words, a man's penis is a sign of physical and mental health. Whether it is mentally or physically, if there is something wrong with either party, the penis will be difficult to erect. The situation is different in terms of the effects of both the spirit and the body: the impotence caused by physical weakness can return to its original state with the recovery of the body; however, the impotence caused by psychological factors, the problem Not so simple.

Give an example to explain it.Now let me tell a story I once heard from a friend: He was dating a woman.Once, as usual, the two of them went to bed and were about to have sex, when the woman suddenly said, "It's better to use a pillow to cushion it." Hearing this, his penis shrank rapidly.As a result, sex failed.Most women can't help but ask, "Why did this happen?" There are several possible reasons: First of all, putting a pillow on a woman's waist will lift her waist, making it easier for the penis to be inserted, and it is indeed easy to stimulate the woman's sensitive parts.However, since the woman had brought it up on her own initiative, he couldn't help but wonder if she had done this with men other than himself in the past.Especially when the woman used the word "best", it made him feel as if his previous sexual posture was not good, and it seemed to have the meaning of "hope he does better now".

Of course, this woman may have spoken like that out of a relatively simple desire, hoping that the sexual behavior of the two of them will be completed better.However, the man feels that he has been regarded as inferior, so he immediately loses his self-confidence.At the same time, he also suspected that she might have had sex with men who were more skilled than he before.Because of this kind of psychology, he felt that he was defeated by another man in an instant, and his penis quickly lost his erection ability.It can be seen that due to the influence of unexpected factors from the woman, the man loses his self-confidence.

After sexual intercourse, some men will ask the woman: "Did you do well?" The purpose of asking this question is also to gain self-confidence.If the other party answers "no", then the situation is bad, and some of them will stop asking the same question and go to find trouble for themselves.For those men who are particularly familiar with women and have full confidence in making the woman fully sexually satisfied, it is another matter.However, most men are not that confident.During sexual intercourse, they may be affected by the unintentional words from the woman, sometimes happy and sometimes sad, so they will lose confidence and even hurt their self-esteem, so they cannot maintain a normal intimate relationship with the woman.

In extreme terms, a man's penis is something that stands proudly.That is, when you have confidence in yourself, it is full of energy.However, even if a man is smooth in work and other aspects, as long as he lacks confidence in women, it is still difficult for his penis to be firm. The word "self-confidence" on this occasion can be called "being in a superior position" in another way.That is, when a man has a sense of superiority over a woman as the other party, the penis will be energetic.However, if you have a sense of inferiority, the penis will lose its power, and even impotence will appear.These may be the difficult aspects of male sexuality, and I am afraid they are also difficult for women to understand.

When I was young in Sapporo, I knew a wonderful woman.In the past she had been involved with an admitted playboy - an attractive middle-aged man.Probably because of this rumor, my poor penis couldn't get an erection at all during sex with her.Thinking about it now, at that time, I saw the phantom of that middle-aged man in front of her.Due to the pressure of "must have skillful skills" and the anxiety of "whether I can defeat him", the result is that things go against each other: the harder I try, the weaker my penis becomes.And once this happens, it cannot be controlled by one's own will.Therefore, the more anxious the heart is, the less energetic the penis will be. Fortunately, the other party is a very considerate woman who understands male psychology very well.She said to me: "I like you very much, it's good to be with you!" The next morning, she said to me again: "Let's stay together for one more night." At night, she was still tender He said to me, "I love you." Unbelievably, the penis, which had shrunk the day before, gradually became firmer.Thanks to her comforting words, I regained my confidence and my penis became firmer. A man's penis is more sensitive than a woman's imagination, and it may fall into impotence because of some trivial things; it may also regain self-confidence because of a caressing word or a little care from the other party.Especially when the relationship between the two is not harmonious, because the man is highly nervous and restless, a casual word from the woman will cause the man to suffer a fatal blow.Many men suffer from impotence because of this, which eventually leads to the deterioration of the relationship with the woman. In this case, the most cruel thing to the man is the accusation from the woman, such as "can you satisfy me well", "are you planning to get rid of me because of this", and so on.Even without the strong words mentioned above, words like "What's wrong?" "Are you tired?" "What's wrong?" can hurt a man.Even words of encouragement such as "I will do better in the future" and "It will be fine next time" can create negative pressure on men and make them impotent. Once encountering such a man, what should a woman do?Here's what I'm going to introduce, though not a surefire cure, but perhaps the best way: Forget about impotence for a while, and whisper "I love you" to him while soothing him gently. Here, we must not forget that the degree of love for the woman is not necessarily directly proportional to the strength of the penis erection.It's true that most men are motivated when they finally have sex with the woman they've been dreaming of.However, at the same time, due to excessive tension or excitement, impotence sometimes occurs instead.These are all subtly related to the relationship between the man himself and the woman, so it cannot be asserted that this is generally the case. After finally marrying the woman he loves deeply, but at this time the penis is unbelievable. There is nothing more humiliating and cruel to men than this.Once this happens, the man will lose confidence. Even if there is a chance to combine with the other party again, he may be uneasy because he is worried that he will not be able to do it. As we discussed at the beginning of this chapter, there is a strong relationship between penile erections and feelings of self-confidence and superiority.A one-time failure can make a man lose confidence, and the erection of the penis becomes more and more difficult.Once there is an unfavorable situation, many men will give up the women they love and leave in anger.Although the situation varies from person to person, one failure may also lead to the man's impotence in the future. Such men are extremely afraid of being frustrated again, so they are very cold towards women, and they are almost unwilling to speak.Most women tend to think that "such a man is pure" and "an honest man".However, among men, everyone knows with a sixth sense: "This guy lacks sexual confidence."However, women can't see through this, and tend to give such men a high evaluation.Among the people I know is such a man: Although he often haunts the Ginza area at night, there is no "lace news".Women praised him for being "clean and self-disciplined" and "playing very gracefully". In fact, he has a strong inferiority complex about sex, and he doesn't even have the confidence to hug a woman. In recent years, there has been a trend of frigidity and desalination in society.Although many lovers or couples have a harmonious relationship, they are very indifferent to sex. One of the reasons is that it is difficult for men to have a sense of superiority over women in modern society.In the past, there was a saying that "men and women have different seats at the age of seven", which means that men and women can no longer touch each other when they reach the age of seven.So they hardly knew each other until they were adults.However, in modern society the situation is different.Boys and girls have been together since childhood. Girls are very precocious, know more knowledge, and have good academic performance.In this way, it is difficult for boys to be in an advantage, so they naturally have an inferiority complex in front of girls.Modern women treat material life and spiritual life with a positive and optimistic attitude. However, men are very fragile in comparison, and they are more negative towards everything.Men in such an environment, even if they do not fall into impotence, their own sexual desire will be reduced to a certain extent.I once heard of such a case: a husband was impotent because his wife's annual income exceeded his own, but his wife has not yet understood the truth.Men may have an inferiority complex because of a little thing, and their penis is also very sensitive. Once they are depressed, it is difficult to get an erection for the other party. Before the Second World War, women aged 17 to 18 did not know much about the true relationship between men and women in the world, and they were all virgins when they married.It is generally believed that men's penises were much healthier then than they are now.Of course, I am not saying that it is not as good as it used to be. In the modern information society where the level of knowledge has improved, men and women have achieved equality, but the sexual function of men has declined to a certain extent, which is also a helpless thing.As men's libido decreases and their erections become weaker, they no longer have the desire to have sex with women.Women's aggressive approach to attracting men makes men more passive, creating a vicious cycle: When men show weakness, women appear stronger; conversely, when women are stronger, men become weaker.It can be said that the masculinity of men is gradually decreasing. There is an extremely serious problem in modern society that men are not able to satisfy their sexual desires in a healthy way at the age of eighteen to nineteen when they are most sexually active.For men, it is not suitable to sit in one place and study hard at this age.In ancient times, men in this age group had started to patrol mountains and hunt, were keen on fighting, and flirted with women at night.Just as the structure of the word "male" indicates, adding the word "force" under "field" means that a man's way of life should be to use his own physical strength to survive.Modern young people are very precocious, but they don’t set foot in the flower streets and willow alleys as early as the young people in the city in the past; moreover, the young people who lived in the countryside in the old days stayed out at the age of fifteen and got married around the age of twenty. The modern youth is confined to the classroom during the height of his sexuality.Since reviewing and preparing for the exam only requires brain power rather than physical power, their sexual desire cannot be released in other ways.In a sense, this is against the biological nature of human beings.To put it more extreme, except for a few geniuses, many men who won the battle in reviewing and preparing for the exam seem to be sexually frigid or have developed the habit of sexual repression.It is not difficult for us to come to the conclusion that the more men who can be admitted to prestigious universities and have higher education, the lower their libido.According to the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, in fact, the higher the education level of a man, the less his sperm volume and the weaker his sperm motility. It is often heard that intelligent men are often impotent.After they entered the society, they never interacted with women. After they reached a certain age, they married a certain woman through a matchmaker.Because of their strong self-esteem and sexual inferiority complex, it is difficult for them to have sexual intercourse with women.Especially those who get married through someone's introduction, most of them have no sexual experience before the wedding.Therefore, once married, the husband often appears impotent.In this way, male impotence is closely related to modern society.In other words, a man's penis is very sensitive yet extremely fragile.It is not only affected by the individual's mental state and physical condition, but also deeply disturbed by social factors.The more highly tense the social life is, the weaker the man's sexual function will be, and the more impotent men will be.In a sense, this may be a common problem in modern society. The same is impotence, but its degree and type vary widely.Some men, no matter who they are, cannot get an erection; and some men can't get an erection only with special women, but can achieve harmonious sexual relations with other women.Most women believe that if the other party cannot have a sexual union with themselves, then he and other women cannot complete sexual acts.This is actually a kind of misunderstanding. In fact, what is typical of impotence for a particular woman is that men are often incapable of sexually arousing their wives.The male penis is easy to be excited in non-daily life, but not easy to be excited in daily life.Since the couple lives together under the same roof, the husband does not have to worry about his wife running away from home, so it is impossible to have sexual desires for his wife every day. To put it a little exaggeratedly, it may also be called excessive demands.And another phenomenon that cannot be compared with love is: some men cherish their wives very much, but they cannot have sexual desire for her. Although as a couple, the mutual sexual attraction is not necessarily strong.Many wives have not been sexually satisfied since their marriage.As the mutual sexual attraction weakens, so does the warmth of mutual care and consideration between husband and wife.It can be said that the wife unconsciously deprives the husband of his sexual desire.For example, when the husband makes a sexual request, the wife does not agree; or when the wife proposes to make love, there are more tricks, more techniques, and so on.In recent years, women's magazines often advocate that when a couple has sexual relations, the wife should actively ask her husband.However, if the relationship between husband and wife is not so harmonious, the wife's initiative to make sexual demands will actually reduce the husband's sexual desire. Presumably wives will have no objection on this point, that is, if two people love each other, they should maintain a sexual relationship.Even in love, however, sex is another matter.The failure of the wives to understand this can sometimes lead to a deterioration in the relationship between husband and wife, even to the point of divorce. No matter how loving the couple is, because the wife follows her husband closely in daily life, repeated sex life will make people lose freshness, so it is difficult for husbands to still have sexual fantasies about their wives after ten or fifteen years of marriage .Only when the penis is erect can we have sexual relations, and the penis is easy to erect in non-daily life.Therefore, for women who are very familiar and close, it is difficult for the penis to produce vitality.Some wives may criticize this.If they assert that no sexual relationship means no love, then the husband will be ashamed and unable to defend himself. It is obviously unreasonable to seek everything from the form of marriage, such as a stable life, a comfortable life, family happiness around the children, and passionate sex.Wives must live in a world of non-routine sex if they want to maintain a passionate sexual relationship forever.I am afraid that only the "tryst-style intermarriage" adopted by the aristocratic class in the Heian period can maintain this passion, and ordinary marriage methods cannot solve this problem at all. However, I think that even if there is no passionate desire between husband and wife, they can still enjoy warmth without intense sex.For example, the man takes the initiative to snuggle up to the woman, hold her hand tightly and rest quietly with her... In this way, even if there is no sexual relationship, the man can continue to pass on tenderness to his wife through skin-to-skin contact, so that she can be in love with her in the future. Feel comforted psychologically, so as to be able to maintain a normal relationship between husband and wife satisfactorily.But I think most Japanese men are not doing enough in this regard, they lack the minimum patience. As men's sexual problems, we must remember that if men do not maintain sexual relations with women on a regular basis, they will develop a habit of not wanting to have sexual contact.It is often said that a man's sexual desire is like water stored in a cup, which will overflow when it is full. This is a purely physiological phenomenon.This statement does speak to one aspect of the truth, especially when people are young, sexual desire is so strong.However, if you develop the habit of suppressing sexual desire, or if you still do not touch sex for a long time after reaching a certain age, a man's sex will become dull and his sexual desire will tend to weaken. Men like to indulge in their hobbies, gambling, horse racing, competitions, having certain interests, and so on.Many of them think that having sex with women is troublesome.In this way, they will be obsessed with certain activities and have no time to take care of women, so they lose their sex unconsciously.If things go on like this, their sexual psychology will tend to be flat.Men's sexual repression has surpassed women's imagination. We can see that in modern society, many factors will make men's sexual performance decline. In recent years, women have shown a desire to actively grasp the pleasure of sex by themselves.This just shows that there are differences between men and women, and we can even say that this difference is the tragedy of modern society.Regardless of men or women, how to break this gender boundary is a big issue related to the theme of life—that is, "what is happiness in life?"In this regard, everyone, every couple should seriously think about it.