Chapter 3 thank you

The scope of this book is very wide. The stories and conversations we share with readers in this book are drawn from our own lives and our daily work with our many students, colleagues, and clients.In order to ensure the diversity of content and protect personal privacy, many of the stories in the book are "mixtures" of many similar and comparable personal experiences, and as a rule, many facts in the stories are also Everything has changed.Here, we would like to extend our sincerest thanks to those collaborators who generously shared with us their conversation materials!We have learned a lot from their selflessness and their courage to try new things.

In addition to our own research and reflection, this book also borrows and incorporates theories and ideas from many other disciplines.Our training initially consisted only of negotiation, arbitration, and law, but in the end, the book encompasses thought and scholarship in a wide variety of fields, including organizational behavior, epistemology, client-centered and family therapy, social psychology, communication theory, and Other related work centered around "dialogue". This book began as a teaching collaboration with teachers from the Family Institute of Camhridge.So, first of all, we would like to express our gratitude to the Center for their enormous contribution to this book.Doctors Richard Chessing and Richard Lee, along with Bruce Peyton and Roger Fisher, have taught us what we call the Interpersonal Skills Exercise (psychoenactment therapists, Carl and Sharon Holland, two physicians whose examples inspired this exercise), conducted research in which participants were guided through one of the most difficult conversations of their lives.The Negotiation Studio at Harvard Law School became the centerpiece of this exercise, and for more than a decade after that, all of our study and research revolved around it.Dick, Rick, Shailene Rose, Jody Skyer, and their colleagues from Family Training Center taught us about family dynamics and influence as they taught us this exercise. Knowledge, common reasons why people get stuck and tips on how to comfort someone in pain.

We would also like to thank Chris Achilles and his colleagues at Action Design: Diane McLee Smith, Bob Putnam, and Phil McArthur.Their unique insight in the field of organizational life and interpersonal structure has become our most powerful assistant in the process of studying and understanding the connotation of conversation - how people make mistakes in conversation, and how to get the interrupted conversation back on track .Many of the concepts in this book, including joint contribution, impact versus intent, and interpersonal intersections, are drawn from their research, as they are from our work One of the sources of inspiration, the metaphor of the double-column tool, the ladder and the footprints, and the method of mapping all come from their inspiration.Bob Putnam gave us two rules for expressing emotions.Don Scone and Diane Township Smith set up the research framework for us, and John Richardson helped us establish the principles of research and learning. It is because of their help and inspiration that we understand Only when we know how to tell our own stories, our work has a smooth start.Diana and our partner (Vantage) provided many helpful examples of how to explain these concepts and were of great help to us as we faced the challenges of organizational life.For that, we would like to thank them.

In the field of cognitive therapy, our work has been greatly supported and facilitated by the research and writings of Aaron Baker and David Burns, especially their work on the impact of cognitive distortions on self-image and mood , it has benefited us a lot.In addition, I would like to thank David Kantor, the co-founder of Family Training Center and Family Therapy.He helped us gain insight into what a "Self-Awareness Conversation" is, and how it can be used and impacted on team dynamics. In our work, knowledge of social psychology and communication theory is often overlooked because it is so commonly used.Although many of the insights and perspectives in this field are no longer the preserve of specialists, we are still indebted to the late Jeff Rubin for his many insights worthy of our attention and for his consistent guidance. Support and encouragement.In addition, we would like to thank Carl Rogers and Shegara Rundel for their support and help in our work on listening and the power of authenticity.There is also John Glyde, who provided us with the concept of three perspectives: your perspective, the perspective of other people, and the perspective of the observer.Here, we also express our gratitude to him.

In the field of conversations, we would like to thank Laura Chessing and colleagues at the Public Cornersations Project and friends on the Conflict Management team and Erica Fox; and Bill Isaac, Louise Diamond , Richard Moon, and others, because thanks to their hard work, we've learned how speaking our minds and getting to the point in a conversation can be so transformative in its outcome . We would also like to thank Fisher, Bob Nukin, and David Hurwitz from Harvard Law School for their continuous encouragement and valuable learning opportunities.I would also like to thank Rob Resiliano, Joe Stanford and Don Thompson of the Conflict Management Team, Eric Kolhauser of the Conflict Management Team Australia, Shirley of CIBC Bank Canada (Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce) Knight, Archie Epps, Harvard Student Affairs, Colonel Danny Carpenter and Joe Tetz of Southern California Base, Gary Jussela and Nancy Ann Stebbins of Boeing (and Caroline Gerlerman, who introduced us), Deborah Copper of the Negotiation Program, and the entire staff at Conflict Management.Our friend and colleague Stephen Smith not only helped us grow our initial work into what we now are a family business and foundation, but also introduced us to agent Esther Neuberger and her work at ICM (a UK authority Here, we would like to express our sincere thanks to the excellent team of the polling agency, for their confidence in us at the beginning and their support for our work over the years.

We are lucky because we have a group of wise and sincere friends and working partners who are willing to put aside their busy work to read our drafts, give us advice, and always surround us to encourage and support us.When Fisher, Erica Fox, Mike Moffitt, Scott Papert, John Richardson, and Rob Recirianu and Diana Smith chose to live with us When they were working with each other, they might not have imagined that this cooperation would be so long, but from the beginning to the end, they never showed the slightest bit of burnout.They always take every revision into a rewrite so seriously, whether it is part of a chapter or the entire chapter.Needless to say, their contributions have had a profound and significant impact on this book.In addition, we would like to thank Dennis Akakoso, Liso Baker, Bob Borden, Bill Breslin, Scott Brown, Stevenson Calback, Toni Chayers, Day Ana Zegas, Amy Edmondson and George Daly, Iusabeth England, Danny Ertel, Keith Fitzgerald, Ron Fordagna Ryan Gunson, Rory Goldenthal, Mayan Gordon, Sherlock Graham, Haynes, Eric Hall, Terry Hill, Ed Hillis De Johnson, Helen King, Stu Creek, Linda Cruz, and Diane Koskinas, Jim Lawrence, Susan McCafferty, Charlotte McConick, Patrick McElwaney, Jamie Moffitt, Monica Parker, Robert and Susan Richardson, Don Rubenstein, Sylvie Ka, Carol Rubin, Jeff Saul, Drew Tulumello, Robin Wezerel, Jeff Weiss, Jim Young, Louisa Hackett and all those who helped us, thanks for the topics, feedback and Support us.

Over the years, our family has been by our side, waiting for this book to be published.They read those drafts more than once, put forward many pertinent opinions and suggestions without reservation, and consistently accompanied us and gave us spiritual support.For their efforts, we appreciate and appreciate them, but cherish them more: Robbie and David Blackett, Jack and Joyce Sheehan, Jill and Jason Grennan, Stacey Sheehan, Bill with Carol Patton, Bryan Patton, Defra Hitzski, John Richardson, Diana Smith, Don and Anne Stone, Julie Stone, Dennis Dahetti and Randy Stone. We are certainly lucky to have such an exceptional editorial team at Viking Penguin.Our editor, Jan Ong Merren, not only possesses the perceptiveness and wit of a good editor, but is also approachable and witty.She and her team—Susan Peterson, Barbara Grossman, Ivan Held, Patty Kelly—knowed where we were headed and immediately took this Jobs are delivered to more hands.We are very grateful and appreciative of their efficient work and dedication.Although we insisted on using "they" to keep the book gender-neutral, our layout editor Bina Kamrani and copyright editor Janet Furnard took the incredible courage to include the three of us. Daimyo (As this usage is used more and more in speech, younger readers may think this is commonplace. However, we still want to express our deep apologies to those readers who have difficulty accepting this usage).

As always, the last thing we want to say is that this book is the result of the hard work of many people. Please forgive me if we have forgotten something.