Chapter 201 Be human in front of jealous people

"People are afraid of being famous and pigs are afraid of being strong." To explain the reason clearly, it is difficult and easy to say, and it is so easy that only two words are enough: jealousy.It is not an isolated case where one person works, three oppose, five investigate, and ten spread rumors. "Shoot the top bird" and "the top rafters rot first", these are all "warnings" to the outstanding ones. Originally, if one person's talent is higher than another's, his position should be higher, which is as it should be.But this is not the case for a jealous person. For those who are more talented than him, he must find ways to slander him, and for those whose status is higher than him, he must find ways to overthrow him.

You may have encountered the following situations: After some hard work, you submit your carefully drafted work plan to your boss.He greatly appreciates your work achievements, pats you on the shoulder in front of everyone to show his importance to you, and everyone in the meeting unanimously praises your insights. For another example, you just successfully completed a task and made the company a lot of money, and the heads of various departments look at you differently.At this time, you must be proud of the spring breeze, you can't help but look happy, and you have the feeling that "the world belongs to me".

But when you get carried away with excitement, it may be when you plant your own bomb-making others jealous, making you the enemy of many people without knowing it. And there are always jealous people around us. If we want to succeed, we must learn to deal with such people.When you meet this kind of person, you should usually not reason with him head-on. You should always be on guard, show off your talents without restraint, and don't irritate the other party.But in the further communication, let him feel your noble personality and change from jealousy to admiration. This may not be a good way to deal with it.

The specific method can refer to the following points. When getting along with a jealous person, it is best not to take some measures to deal with him, because jealous people are suspicious and jealous.It's better to treat jealous people as ordinary people. As the saying goes, if you don't blame people, they will defeat themselves.Instead of trying to figure it out, it is better to "govern by doing nothing" and achieve the effect of "doing nothing without doing nothing". Confucius once said: "To be wise and wise, guard it with ignorance; if your achievements are recognized by the world, guard it with love; if you are brave enough to touch the world, guard it with affection; if you are rich in the world, guard it with humility." This is not just a simple strategy. In fact, when When a person is surrounded by flowers and applause, he needs to be more modest and cautious.

So, remember not to lose your head, be humble and humble everywhere, even when you are like a helicopter, and your power is getting stronger day by day, please still maintain the relationship with your old colleagues and spend time with them Get together.When talking, you can’t look up those success stories by yourself. Even if others flatter you, just ignore it, or simply say: “It’s not my credit, it’s because the boss is too kind to me” or “Thank you for your compliment.” , In fact, you have to work harder to be qualified for this job.” Mr. Parkinson said in "The Essence of Management Art": "Most organizations are structured like a pyramid. When a person climbs to the top of the pyramid, the most important positions are getting less and less. Therefore, a newly promoted Managers, must be very careful. First of all, most of his former colleagues believed that they deserved this position and were unhappy that they did not get it. But especially important: a promoted manager must try his best to show Shows humility and is not domineering. He must not forget his former colleagues."

The method of using love to hate is mainly to influence the jealous person with sincere love, so as to eliminate and dissolve the jealousy.As the saying goes: "Hate is a centrifugal drug, love is a glue." Therefore, when you are jealous, if you can repay the hatred with kindness and influence the jealous person with love, the hatred will naturally be resolved. Make concessions, be more polite and polite to others, and never have an arrogant attitude, so that you can reduce others' jealousy of you, because your low profile makes some people satisfied in terms of self-esteem! Showing weakness is an effective means for the strong to be emotionally considerate to the weak who are temporarily at a disadvantage in some respects.It can comfort the "weak people" around you, get a psychological balance, and reduce or offset the negative factors that may arise on your way forward.

Restraining unprincipled fights with principled tolerance is the key to eradicating two-way and multi-way jealousy.If someone who is jealous challenges you, instead of fighting against it, you will back off and seek common ground while reserving minor differences with moderate tolerance without losing your principles. This is a good way to resolve jealousy and avoid jealousy. There is a dean of a certain university who knows how to show weakness.When he was just promoted to the head of the department, a colleague was a little jealous of him and always found fault with his "funny appearance" to embarrass him.Later, the head of the department came to the colleague's house, had a heart-to-heart talk with him, and revealed his shortcomings and faults, saying: "I have very little experience in teaching and teaching management. My teaching work is really 'catch ducks to the shelves', in the future, please do your best to help me." The method of showing weakness is very effective, and since then, that colleague has never troubled him again, and instead often advises him.

Communicate with the jealous person and sincerely ask for his cooperation. Of course, you should also remind and praise the other person's strengths that you don't have, which can more or less eliminate his jealousy. Some jealousy is caused by misunderstanding, and we need to persuade and talk, otherwise, the misunderstanding will become deeper and deeper, which seriously interferes and destroys the normal communication of interpersonal relationships.When persuading, you should pay attention to calmness and be prepared to persuade many times. Take an encouraging attitude towards jealous people.Because jealous people are psychologically lost and unbalanced when they are at a disadvantage. Although they are superficially strong, they are actually empty inside and imply a pessimistic mood.Therefore, it is very necessary to adopt an encouraging attitude towards the envious person, mainly to objectively analyze his strengths, strengthen his confidence, change his wrong ideas, and provide some substantive help to the envious person within his ability. Turn envy toward fair play.