Chapter 186 Grab the key and persuade

In communication, you sometimes face contradictions such as the confrontation between emotion and reason, disagreement between each other's wishes, and mutual incomprehension between the two parties.And once the conflict reaches a certain level, opponents often form a group to put pressure on you, and everyone unanimously says you are wrong. At this time, how should you deal with it?Might as well adopt the method of seizing the typical representatives and convincing people with reasoning. After the Li family destroyed the Sui Dynasty and the Tang Dynasty, Li Shimin ascended the throne and rewarded meritorious ministers. Fang Xuanling, Du Ruhui and others were all highly valued and regarded as ministers with shares.This caused dissatisfaction among many old ministries.Among them, his uncle Li Shentong was the most displeased.

Li Shentong, the king of Huai'an, said to Li Shimin: "When I set up troops in Kansai, I was the first to support Gaozu. Now, people like Fang Xuanling and Du Ruhui are on top of me. I am the elder of the Li family. How can I be convinced by this?" ?” As soon as Li Shentong said this, he immediately received a response.Those old people in the mansion of King Qin (Li Shimin was King Qin before he ascended the throne) who had not been promoted also complained one after another. Li Shimin said to Li Shentong: "Uncle is my close relative, and I respect you very much. But although you initiated the rebel army, you did nothing for the country. The purpose of raising troops is to avoid danger. You were wiped out in Shandong first, and then you fought with Liu Heitai Fleeing in the face of the wind during the battle. Without the assistance of Fang Xuanling and others, I would have been defeated by the enemy long ago. I cannot reward you and the founding fathers just because you are my uncle."

Li Shentong blushed and remained silent.Li Shimin also said: "The way of governing, only selflessness can convince the people of the world. Rewards can only be judged according to merit, and useful talents are appointed. Although the people in the Qin Palace are my old subordinates, some people lack virtue and talent. You can only complain in vain, how can this be a great plan for governing the country?" After hearing Li Shimin's words, everyone was convinced and said: "Your Majesty is so impartial and has no selfishness towards his dear uncle and his former ministers. What else should we worry about? We dare not think anything wrong at all. You can only do your best to serve the country.”

Li Shimin's remarks specifically aimed at Li Shentong, the "initiator", can be described as profoundly righteous. It not only took care of the faces of Li Shizu's relatives and the old people of the Qin Palace, but also pointed out their injustice in the war, and pointed out that they What they have done is not in line with the plan of governing the country and the security of the country.Let them be untenable in reason, and know that they are sorry for him emotionally, so they will no longer use each other's family or old friendship to pester Li Shimin. In life, we also encounter similar problems of being under siege.At this time, you might as well learn from Li Shimin's method, and communicate with those who have the strongest attitudes among the opponents or those who play the role of "backbone", and use the method of presenting facts and reasoning to make them "reasonable and retreat".

Both A Duo and her husband intended to have another child three years later, but the elders on both sides strongly opposed it.Take turns telling them about the benefits of "having a baby early" from time to time.As a result, the couple were too scared to go home because of the four old people. Later, A Duo discovered that the most critical person among the four elderly people was her mother, so she and her husband launched an "offensive" against their mother, listing the reasons for not having children for the time being.In the end, the work of the mother was done, and the other three elderly people were not so strongly opposed.