Chapter 187 Conquer the core, break into the circle

When shooting a man, shoot a horse first, and when capturing a thief, first capture the king. In the communication field, each communication circle has its own "leader" - the core figure.These characters are always well-dressed and travel to various occasions, exchanging business cards with all kinds of people during the feast, they have all kinds of friends, and every call may contain business opportunities.Many people get acquainted because of the core figures in the circle, and they also bring a lot of wealth. Therefore, if we grasp the core characters, it will open up a lot of opportunities for our communication.If you catch the "leader", you can play a key role in your social circle.

The core figure is the leader of a unit or a group, and the absolute owner of the unit or group's decision-making power and influence.Grasping the key qualities of core characters can help us adopt corresponding communication strategies. One is strong self-esteem and self-confidence.This is the most prominent psychological characteristic of the core character.Because the core people are generally successful people, and usually have absolute decision-making power and influence. The strong self-esteem of the core character usually reflects three aspects: the first aspect is that the more you respect him, the more he thinks he is great; the second aspect is that he will use the banner of the unit or group in the negotiation with the other party To meet his own self-esteem needs; the third aspect is the issue that could have been discussed in private, he prefers to negotiate in public in order to obtain the strong support of group members to meet his self-esteem needs.

The second is that the cognitive ability is relatively strong, and the will is relatively firm. The third is to have relatively skilled social communication skills, be good at observing words and feelings, and be good at choosing easy-to-connect objects and acceptable communication content and methods. The fourth is to have stable character traits. Fifth, they are familiar with and understand the knowledge and situation of a certain field or industry, and have relatively rich social experience or knowledge. From the point of view of communication, the core person usually has two functions.

One is representative function.Core figures generally represent the opinions of most members of their unit or group. The second is the suggestive function.The central figure is generally able to get the members of his unit or group to accept the information he provides, his evaluation of it, and so on, without suspicion or criticism. The knack of communicating with core characters can be summarized into four actions: approach, show, use, and support. "Close" is the first action.If you are afraid of the central figure and do not approach him, you will not be able to present yourself to him, let alone use him.How to get close to the key figures, you have to formulate an approach strategy based on the person, event, place, and situation.This is because the core character's personality is quite mature, and simple praise methods will not work.There are three main threads of thought when developing an approach strategy:

One is that most successful people are more proud, while a person who is truly proud of his struggle values ​​the struggle experience far more than the result of the struggle.For this reason, you have to try to be the best person to confide in the struggle experience of the core people you want to get close to. The second is that human beings have needs and human nature has weaknesses, so you need to know his most critical needs and most "fatal" weaknesses.In this way, you can improve the "hit rate" of communication. For this reason, you have to learn to "send charcoal in the snow", at least you must be able to "add the icing on the cake".

The third is to be good at creating the "self effect".A person who has nothing will not be vigilant, but a person with status, status or wealth is just the opposite, and his vigilance is proportional to his status or wealth.To do this, you have to make the target you approach think of you as "one of your own" as much as possible. "Exposing" is the second action.The core character is the intermediary between you and the members of the target group. Only by passing him can you show yourself to all members of the target group.If the core person does not approve of you, the target group members will not approve of you, which is determined by the function of the core person.Therefore, in order to win the trust of the key people, you must fully demonstrate your sincerity, confidence, skills, qualities, virtues, etc. to them.

"Use" is the third action.Approaching and displaying are not advanced skills to deal with the relationship with core characters, but learning how to use them is a higher level.The exploit has two functions: First, by reasonably satisfying the self-esteem needs of the core characters, the excessive expansion of their self-esteem can be effectively restrained.Because in the process of your interaction with the core character, once his self-esteem is over-inflated, your interaction with him will "stop here". Second, by giving play to the representative and suggestive functions of the core characters, it is possible to understand the situation of the target group in the shortest possible time, and to make the members of the target group act in the same way most effectively.

"Support" is the fourth action.Support is the application of the psychological principle of "promoting behavior to change attitude", which can be said to be the highest state of using core characters.There are two main points of support: One is in the process of presentation and utilization, cleverly adopt the method of "remedial lessons" to change the knowledge and experience structure of the core characters, so that they will have a strong interest or even preference for you and the products you produce or manage. The second is to maintain the image of the core person, consolidate the position of the core person, and make them completely trust you and even develop a dependence complex.

What needs to be explained is that once the communication with the core person reaches the highest level, when he regards you as a confidant, he will also become your true friend.