Chapter 184 "Turning Suffering Through Suffering" to Solve Problems

What should we do when our relatives and friends complain and ask for help?It is a good way to solve it by "transformation". While the daughter-in-law was working, the mother-in-law suddenly called, and the daughter-in-law hurriedly left work to answer the phone.The mother-in-law said that the heating at home had broken down and needed money to repair it. When the mother-in-law complained, although the daughter-in-law felt very impatient, she had to say: "Yes! It's so cold now, and the heating is broken, so what can I do? Really, what do you think should be done? "Comfort my mother-in-law again.

Anyone who is in trouble will not let go of even a life-saving straw.Since you expressed sympathy, you should solve it.If you have the ability to solve, this way of expression is of course the most appropriate.But if you don’t have the ability to say the above, it’s not good, because if you give hope to the other party first, but you can’t help in the end, it will only create another problem—the mother-in-law raised the issue of "money". If the daughter-in-law couldn't bear it anymore at this time, she blurted out: "So many brothers and sisters, why did you ask us for it?" Bar."

This is tantamount to slapping the mother-in-law who was upset because of the broken heating.The mother-in-law is bound to vent her complaints to her son, and the husband has no choice but to spend money to comfort the mother.So, what can you do to effectively avoid conflict and successfully resolve problems? Anyone who is married will have the above experience.Thinking of spending money will naturally make you feel depressed. You might as well explain to your mother-in-law patiently: "You know, we also rely on wages to make ends meet. I don't know if the money in hand is enough. Let me discuss it with him first. You'd better Let’s also say hello to my elder brother and younger brother first, I think it would be better for everyone to share and solve the problem together.”

Such a specific answer not only provides a solution for the mother-in-law, but also distributes the responsibility to other brothers.Of course, if the husband cannot give money, the mother will be the first to complain, but the husband and the mother-in-law are mother-child relationships, and even if there is any conflict, they will quickly reconcile. In this way, not only the bitterness of the mother-in-law is resolved, but also the "suffering" that I bear alone. To resolve bitterness, pay attention to the following three points: One is to express sympathy and understanding for the other party's "suffering".

The second is that it can be resolved by analogy, such as listing a certain person who has a similar situation, and then pointing out how people with similar situations have overcome difficulties.To give the complainer the feeling that his own suffering is not unique to him, and that he is "not alone", half of the psychological burden seems to be on "so-and-so". The third is to state your position, but be tactful.Give the other party reasonable advice.If the other party complains in order to ask you for help, by the way, you can indicate how you can help and how much you can contribute.Of course, if you have difficulties, you should also show your difficulties to the other party.