Chapter 132 Thick-skinned, make sure you eat enough

In life, "thin-skinned" has various manifestations.Such people often blush and are speechless.Don't dare to enter the dance hall, dare not show your face in all public places.Don't dare to associate with strangers, do not want to associate with people whose status is higher than their own, for fear that others will look around.Afraid to speak in public places, even when speaking in seminars in the company, department, and department, I feel frightened, do not know how to place my hands and feet, feel awkward, always afraid that I will be ridiculed when I say the wrong thing, and always think that there are many people present They are all smarter than themselves, and dare not express themselves.

In short, the usual manifestation of "thin-skinned" is shyness and embarrassment, that is, often feeling embarrassed. This can be traced to psychological reasons, because shyness is a psychological manifestation from beginning to end. There are three types of shyness: one is temperamental shyness, that is, born with a relatively introverted personality and a relatively quiet temperament, speaks softly, blushes when seeing strangers, and even often has a timid mentality. Thinking about it, worrying a lot.Shyness of this nature is rare and has a certain relationship with the innate temperament type, but it can be improved through acquired adaptation and exercise.The second is cognitive shyness.The main reason for this kind of shyness is that they pay too much attention to "self" and worry too much about gains and losses. They are afraid that their words and deeds will be ridiculed by others. Dominated by the environment and other people's words and deeds, lack of initiative.Over time, I am ashamed to contact people, and even more ashamed to speak in public.The third is frustration and shyness.This type of people used to be not shy, cheerful, and proactive in communication, but due to various objective reasons, they suffered setbacks and became timid and passive.

Not only does shyness prevent normal, close friendships with others, it can lead to depression, anxious moods, and feelings of isolation, leading to weakness and apathy in character.So overcoming shyness is very necessary.So, how do we overcome this mentality? First of all, you should understand that the so-called "embarrassment" and "inferiority" are nothing to be ashamed of.Because everyone has this kind of mentality, it’s just that this kind of psychology is manifested to different degrees in different people, different nations and different historical stages.As a person, many things in life are often not able to fulfill a person's wish.Everyone cannot look at everything in isolation.You may really be inferior to others in some aspects, but it does not mean that others are better than you in everything. You should be good at finding your own strengths and try to make them shine.The so-called "everyone has strengths in every industry", being able to become a leader in a certain aspect and field is the first key to success.

We should understand that inferiority complex is not insurmountable.Napoleon, who is famous all over the world, was once ashamed of himself because of his short size; in addition, Tim Tinys, Edison, Caesar, and many famous figures in the history of the world had a certain degree of inferiority complex, but they were able to overcome the inferiority complex, Conquer yourself and eventually make yourself the most outstanding person in the world.In a sense, it is this inferiority complex that prompts them to look for a more perfect life, thus becoming an excellent model of human beings. To fully overcome this weakness, it is necessary to consider the origin of this psychology.Then, conduct targeted training for this root cause: choose a place with many people to express your opinions, pay attention to your mental state at that time; when thinking about a certain problem, pay attention to whether your decision on a certain matter is straightforward or not. Neatness; when facing a stranger, are you willing to treat him as your new friend; do you feel that you blush in front of others; do you usually have a lot of melancholy things; do you often complain that others can't find out your strengths.Analyzing all of these one by one, you can know the reasons that lead to your inferiority complex, so that you can prescribe the right medicine, reduce the difficulty of overcoming this kind of psychology, and practice excellent "thick" skills.

Don't be thin-skinned when asking for help.Because, as the saying goes: "Thin-skinned, you can't eat." A thin-skinned face is hard to accomplish.Some people are too thin-skinned and have too much self-esteem to withstand the blow of rejection. As long as they are slightly hindered, they will blush, feel humiliated, annoyed, walk away without looking back, and even quarrel with the other party and collapse. On the surface, this kind of person seems to have a bit of "backbone". In fact, this is a manifestation of too fragile psychological quality. It is difficult for people who only care about face and do not try to achieve their goals to get things done, and it is even more difficult to have a big career development.

Asking people to do things is very particular.When asking for help, the attitude should be sincere and the tone should be calm.Even if you are coldly received, hit a wall, or the other party loses your temper, you have to hold your breath. As long as the problem can be solved, it is worthwhile to suffer a little grievance.You still have to state your opinion calmly. Don't be impatient, visit patiently and tirelessly, and state your reasons and requirements.Don't expect to get an answer and deal with it quickly, and be mentally prepared for a long-term battle. As the saying goes: "People's hearts are fleshy." No matter how big the cognitive distance between the two parties is, as long as you deal with it patiently, hold on and don't let go, and use your actions to make the other party feel that you are very sincere, it will prompt the other party to think and understand you With painstaking efforts, jump out of the stubborn frame, then you will be "wrapped" out of hope.

In any case, don't be thin-skinned.However, thick-skinned is not "thick" regardless of principle. This requires us to never back down on issues of principle.If a person does not dare to stick to principles and sacrifices fundamental things in exchange for a moment of peace, he will lose his dignity and value as a human being. In people's eyes, such a person can only be seen as a coward. The main reason for those who dare not stick to principles is that they dare not pay the price, make deals with principles, and sacrifice principles to maintain the things they value that are actually of little value.Conversely, what will it cost to fight for principles?Adhering to principles is the minimum requirement for being a human being, and it is the most important thing for a person. Although adhering to principles may offend others and damage existing interests, it is worthwhile to maintain what is most important and should be maintained.In this way, in the eyes of everyone, you are still a good image who dares to uphold principles. Isn't this more worthwhile than unprincipled "thickness"?

Principles are the final limit of "thickness". There are mainly the following types that can be called principles: One is to preserve life.Life is the first element and foundation of being human.A person loses his life and nothing can be said about it.Therefore, when your life is violated, you must not be "thick".Otherwise, what's the point of losing your life?In this regard, we must pay attention to distinguishing priorities.Moreover, the purpose and the means must not be reversed.Because "thickness" is not the purpose of our existence, but a means to make our life better.The cherishment of life and the enrichment of life are our goals.It is a kind of stupidity to sacrifice or lose one's life in vain for "thickness".

The second is that the personality and national character must not be lost.Although Thick Heiology advocates that a person might as well practice "thick" skin.But it also emphasizes the need to maintain at least one's dignity and face.As the saying goes: "A man needs a face, but a tree needs a bark." When a person's dignity is hurt, if he can't afford it and resists, it is the beginning of degeneration. The third is that fundamental interests cannot be compromised.A person's interests come in many categories.Some are general interests. Ordinary people don’t need to worry about the loss of such interests. But when the fundamental interests are violated, they should not be indifferent and insensitive. In terms of fundamental interests, we should insist on "we will not offend us, and we will not offend others. If people offend me, I will offend others" principle.