Chapter 103 Faithful words don't hurt ears

We all know that "loyal words are harsh to the ear, but good medicine is bitter to the mouth".But in communication, it is also possible to achieve "loyalty does not hurt the ear". Advice plays an irreplaceable and important role in building sincere interpersonal relationships.Conversely, a person who cannot give advice to others is not a sincere person. Such a person will not tell the other party how he really feels.In other words, people who don't care about others will not give advice to others, and people who are not cared about will also not receive advice.Therefore, we should welcome advice and, more importantly, give advice.

Still, why do people in general hate advice, why does it always sound bad? The reason is that ordinary people are easily dominated by emotions. Even if they have rational knowledge in their hearts, they are still easily influenced by emotions and it is difficult to listen to rational advice.It is not enough to only have good intentions for the sake of others. Advice also requires skill, otherwise it will have the opposite effect.If we pay attention to the three elements of advice, your advice will be accepted and your advice will be pleasing to the ear. Proceed with caution first.In the final analysis, advice is for the other party, and serving the other party's good is the fundamental starting point.Therefore, if you want the other party to understand your good intentions, you must act cautiously, and you must not be negligent or hasty.In addition, the attitude must be modest and sincere when speaking, and the language should not be violent, otherwise the other party will have a resentment of being taught a lesson.

Second, choose the right time.In principle, when giving advice, it is best to do it one-on-one, avoiding the eyes and ears, and never give advice to the other party in front of others.Because in doing so, the other party will be driven by self-esteem and have resistance. Again, don't compare.Just don't give advice in the way of comparing things with things and people with people.Because the comparison at this time is often to compare the strengths of others to the weaknesses of the other party, which can easily hurt the other party's self-esteem. Or give an example to illustrate.

The officers and soldiers of the first company of a certain army assisted the local TV station in shooting a documentary. Due to time constraints, they worked overtime at noon one day to shoot.When the team leader arrived at the scene, he found that he had brought few props. He was very annoyed, and criticized the company commander in front of the whole company, saying: "How did you become the company commander? How did you organize the team? It even affected the progress of the shooting!" The company commander couldn't hold back his face, so he justified a few words, and the regiment leader became even more angry, shouting: "Not only do you not reflect on your mistakes, but you also have no leadership. I will punish you. Now you go back to me." Write an inspection." The accompanying staff officer Ding felt that the regimental leader's handling was a bit too much, so he asked the regimental leader to report the situation that afternoon, but the regimental leader was very insistent on his opinion.So Staff Officer Ding first pointed out that the company commander really shouldn't contradict the regiment commander face to face, saying that the company commander was young and energetic, and criticized the company commander, and then said: "I have understood the situation, and the company did not bring all the props because of the arrangement. The comrades of the props did not explain clearly, and they are not entirely responsible. Later, the director made a remedy, so it did not affect the shooting, and the company commander was criticized so harshly by you in front of the soldiers of the whole company. How can you tell him to lead the troops in the future. "After hearing what Staff Officer Ding said, the head of the regiment also felt that he had gone too far.That night, the head of the regiment asked Staff Ding to go to the company together. He said to the company commander: "I was a little impatient today, and I misunderstood you." The company commander was very moved and reviewed his own problems.

The staff officer wanted to offer his own advice on the criticism of the regiment leader, and asked the regiment leader to pay attention to the way of criticism, so as to save face for the company commander.If the staff officer is also impulsive and blindly confronts the head on the spot, it will only irritate the head, make the head have more opinions on his subordinates, strengthen the wrong ideas in the head of the head, and increase the difficulty of resolving the head's stubbornness .Therefore, the staff officer did not speak directly, but patiently stated the facts, and conducted a reasonable analysis based on the facts.So in the end, the success of giving advice will come naturally.

1. Only when you are sure that the other party understands what you mean can you express it politely and implicitly. 2. When rejecting and criticizing others, you should observe the words and expressions, not only to see if he really accepts criticism, but also to see if he really understands your criticism. 3. To be tactful is sometimes the key to the word "turn". It is necessary to make a good preparation for "turn" and "turn" naturally. 4. When making suggestions or advice politely, it is necessary to find out the "reason", then supplement it with specific explanations, and add "human touch".