Chapter 101 Tactful criticism is also pertinent

When criticizing others, if you are too explicit, it is often not conducive to communication. While waiting for the elevator, Li Jia saw a man puffing and puffing, and she couldn't help being furious. She pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and shouted loudly: "You don't have eyes? Are you still illiterate? A little social No public morals, crazy!" The man blushed in public with embarrassment, and a war of words broke out... In the class, Li Jia was working hard, and the intern Xiao Li sent her a planning copy for her to read.Li Jia just read a few lines, and then became angry: "Are you out of your mind? Do you think this is a red-headed document? The title is actually red? Also, what happened, so many typos! Thank you for studying in college for a few years What!" Tears welled up in Xiao Li's eyes, and the colleagues around showed astonished expressions.Seeing this, Li Jia was even more furious: "What's so interesting? Crazy!" None of the colleagues paid any attention to her.She felt bored and buried her head in the work materials on the desk.

Back home after get off work, Li Jia found her husband throwing dirty clothes on the sofa again, her voice immediately raised an octave: "Are you deaf or low IQ? How many times have I told you, don't throw dirty clothes around! Your parents haven’t educated you, they don’t understand a little common sense, and you really don’t have a tutor!” Now, the usually good-tempered husband couldn’t take it anymore, and immediately threw the things in the house on the ground without saying a word, and told Li Jia roared loudly... In this case, Li Jia's criticism was originally "right" because they did something wrong, but because she did not pay attention to the way of criticism, a series of unhappiness occurred as a result.Straight-forward direct criticism is always easy to make the critics psychologically unbearable, so it can be carried out through gentle methods.

In addition, in this case, Li Jia's criticism also made a mistake: going online.One of the general principles of criticism is to treat things rather than people.Don’t exaggerate any criticism. Criticize this matter if there is a mistake in this matter, and correct that matter if there is a mistake in that matter. Discuss the matter as it stands, and never involve the other party’s temperament, character, upbringing, etc. This will make people think you are Intentionally insulting his personality, the other party will naturally refute, or be full of grievances. Li Jia's three direct criticisms were not aimed at the facts themselves, but were too exaggerated, on the line, seriously hurt the dignity of the other party, such as: "crazy", "no eyes", "brain injection", "no tutoring", etc. Words that damage the other party's personality.Such criticism not only shows that one lacks self-cultivation, but also inevitably leads to all kinds of unhappiness among people.

So what would an intelligent critic do in these three situations? One is to adhere to the principle of dealing with things rather than people.Try to limit the object of criticism to events rather than individuals, use those evaluation words for events, and avoid evaluation of characters. The second is to pay attention to the tone of voice to be gentle, and the wording is soft and tactful.Try to use a suggestive and negotiable tone, and pay attention to wording such as "please", "I suggest", and "sorry". The third is to make corrections.Generally speaking, a complete criticism includes three aspects: a good statement of facts; an analysis of the reasons or consequences of mistakes; and finally, suggestions.Some parts can be omitted according to the situation, but don't make unnecessary expansion.

Tactful critics will make good use of these three aspects, plus unique language skills, such as humor, hints, etc., to achieve the purpose of criticizing others while maintaining a harmonious relationship. In fact, Li Jia could have criticized it like this: For smokers: sir, this is a non-smoking area, please don't make any fouls here, as fouls will result in free throws. For small colleagues: use red for the title, which is generally not used in the style of the planning case. Maybe you want to highlight something, but this is against the rules.Also, there are a lot of typos in the copy, and customers will definitely feel that we are not serious about our work here, please pay attention and correct it immediately.

For the husband: Husband, don’t throw dirty clothes around, okay?It's not that you don't know that it's unhygienic to do so.I've said it several times, you don't want me to become "Sister Xianglin", do you? With such a tone, who would be angry with her? Smart critics have always been well versed in the way of "tactful criticism". A business owner once criticized his female secretary: "Your dress is very beautiful, you are such a charming lady. But I hope you pay attention to punctuation when printing documents, so that the documents you type are as cute as you." Female The secretary couldn't help smiling, and was very impressed by this criticism, and since then, there are very few mistakes in printing documents.

This boss can be regarded as a smart man, and his tactful and polite words are a manifestation of his self-cultivation and good manners.If he reprimanded in a domineering tone: "How do you work? You can't even figure out the punctuation marks. You are still a college student?" It can only make the subordinate feel wronged, and once the grievance cannot be vented, it will be passed on to the specific department. At work, it will make her work less hard, but it will not achieve the purpose of correcting the other party's mistakes. The classroom is very chaotic, some students are talking and laughing, some students are sleeping, and some students are looking out the window.The teacher in class suddenly stopped the lecture, and said to everyone earnestly: "If the students sitting in the middle talking and laughing can be as quiet as the one watching the scenery outside the window, it will also make the two sleeping in front of you quiet." The female students slept more soundly." This remark caused a roar of laughter, and the smiles of the students who were pointed out were tinged with shame.

The teacher did not directly criticize the students for not obeying the classroom discipline, but gently reminded these students who violated the discipline in a humorous way.Such an approach is really clever.