Chapter 92 Focus on the details and nourish the heart

Understanding the psychology of others requires not only grasping the general psychological fluctuations of the other party, but also working on the subtleties, using small stimuli to affect the psychology of specific situations, so that praise can not only receive the effect of "moisturizing things silently", but also Extremely targeted. On July 29, 1971, Kissinger led a delegation to visit China secretly to conduct negotiations to break the 20-year diplomatic deadlock between China and the United States.Before coming to China, President Nixon imagined the situation of this meeting for them more than once, thinking that the Chinese side would slam the table and shout "Down with American imperialism" and order them to withdraw from the Taiwan region of China and get out of Southeast Asia.For this reason, Kissinger and his party were very nervous.

But the facts were beyond their expectations.Premier Zhou Enlai met them cordially at the Diaoyutai State Guesthouse.Premier Zhou Enlai shook Kissinger's hand with a smile and said in a friendly way: "This is the first handshake between senior officials from China and the United States in more than 20 years." When Kissinger introduced the entourage to Zhou Enlai one by one, he The praise was even more beyond their expectations.He held Holdridge's hand and said, "I know, you can speak Beijing dialect and Cantonese. I can't even speak Cantonese well. You learned it in Hong Kong!" Said: "I've read your paper on Japan in the "Diplomatic Quarterly" and hope you will write one on China." Finally he shook Lord's hand and said: "Young man, so young, we should It’s a half-relative, and I know your wife is Chinese and is writing novels. I would like to read her books and welcome her back for a visit.”

Premier Zhou's short welcome speech contains superb praise skills.He recognized the nervousness of Kissinger and his party. On serious diplomatic occasions, he deliberately downplayed the political role, but grasped the subtleties, and conducted a comprehensive review of their language skills, papers, and family members. A clever compliment.These words are both kind and decent, which eased the tension of the other party, made the other party pay respect to the Chinese leader immediately, and at the same time realize the friendly attitude of the Chinese people, which really kills two birds with one stone.

Premier Zhou Enlai's ability to do this was the result of a lot of careful preparation in advance.He first made a certain understanding of the work and living materials of Kissinger and his party, accurately found out their small details that are usually not mentioned in diplomatic occasions, and at the same time made a general analysis of their psychology when they came to China.Only in this way can there be excellent performance and kind words on the diplomatic field. Praise not only plays a role in stabilizing people's hearts, eliminating barriers, and promoting candid exchanges between the two sides in diplomacy.In the workplace, praise often works wonders.What should be paid special attention to here is to express compliments to each other for every small progress.Carnegie said: "Praise the smallest progress, and each progress must be sincerely recognized and generously praised."

For employees who have just started their work, they often feel extremely difficult and lonely in their hearts. They cannot hear a word of encouragement when they are frustrated, and no one congratulates them when they succeed. At this time, if the employee gets even a few words of praise, it will make him very excited, which will further strengthen his confidence and urge him to work hard to do things well. Max Carey, general manager of Enterprise Resource Development, had struggled when he started his sales and marketing services company.At the time, he had only one temporary employee on his staff.In his words: "Big success is so far away from us. We hardly feel any motivation." He came up with a decision: to celebrate every small success.

Carrey went out and bought a siren, complete with a loudspeaker so that it would sound like an ambulance.If he can bypass the director of training department and talk directly to the general manager of that company when promoting his products on the phone, he will blow his horn once to celebrate; if he receives a large order, the siren will also sound.Today, his company has over 100 million assets and 11 employees.Every week, the sound of sirens echoes through the company more than 10 times. Whenever there is good news, everyone will come out to hear their colleagues talk about the success they have just achieved, which also provides opportunities for everyone to communicate with each other."Our employees aren't experienced enough to be hugely successful, so this kind of celebration is also a great encouragement," says Carrey. Amazing results.

Remember: praise every improvement, no matter how small.