Chapter 77 good self-communication

To do a good job of empathy communication, the most fundamental premise is to do a good job of self-communication.If a person can't pass the hurdle of "self", then how can he consider problems from the perspective of others and communicate well in empathy?Therefore, people must learn to communicate with themselves.Self-communication must do the following. Everyone has a way of self-communication, but if you are very extreme and have a negative attitude, the more you "communicate", the darker your mood will be, and you will enter a vicious circle: think of a bad thing even worse; think of a good thing He also thinks very badly about things, and makes himself even more troubled by digging into the corners of an ordinary thing.This way of thinking will definitely make people depressed and lose their fighting spirit. When faced with difficulties or difficulties, they will only think of giving up, but they will not face or fight against the difficulties ahead.

And a person who is good at self-communication always only thinks from the benefit. When encountering difficulties, he will firmly believe that the problem will definitely be solved, but it will only be a matter of time.There is a saying in an ancient poem: "The mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way out, and the willows are dark and the flowers are bright and there is another village." After the difficulties, there must be another new scene.Because I am a "strong grass in the wind", I like to face difficulties very much. In the face of difficulties, I will survive adversity, and become stronger when I meet the strong, and the more I fight, the braver I am!

We should admit that there is no perfect person in the world, and there is no absolutely perfect thing. As long as it is a "human", it must have shortcomings.In order to improve interpersonal relationships, we must remember that there are no absolutely good people and no absolutely bad people in the world, because there are no absolutely perfect people in the world. Others have the right to do things that are different from ordinary people. Don't dislike them because of their different habits and hobbies.Don't force others to change, don't want to restrain others, let him do whatever he wants!Although you have the right to "identify" your own opinions, it is enough to "examine" yourself. As for the opinions of others, you have absolutely no right to interfere.

For a successful person, congratulate him sincerely, and for a sad and depressed person, comfort him in a timely manner; Be a spiritual force for everyone so they will definitely accept you again! If you want everyone to accept you, you must make others feel that you are an important existence, and you must make people feel that you are also an important existence. Therefore, be grateful for the little things, so that others can feel that what you do for them is not what you should do, but what you do willingly. Zi Gong, a student of Confucius, asked him: "Is there a single character that can be used as a law of unswerving pursuit throughout life?"

Confucius replied: "It's forgiven! Don't do to others what you don't want yourself to do to yourself." The "forgiveness" here means to be considerate of others in everything.It means that what you don't like to do, don't impose it on others.This sentence can be regarded as the basic cultivation of dealing with people and things. If you can do this, you can establish a good interpersonal relationship. The core of "forgiveness" is to deal with problems in a way that judges others by oneself and pushes oneself and others.This can create an atmosphere of great importance, respect for faith, regardless of previous suspicions, and no personal revenge, and it will be more convenient to achieve each other's careers.

"Using people as a mirror, you can know the gains and losses."The first condition for self-communication lies in self-awareness, knowing where your shortcomings, obstacles, limitations and problems are. If we can analyze our thoughts calmly, we can almost find many loopholes. If we can effectively control them, then you will have a correct view of others, and you will definitely find qualities such as love and admiration from him. Compared with Presidents Eisenhower and Kennedy, President Johnson's self-aware popularity is far behind.So, after learning from the pain, he wrote down nine principles, recorded them on a note, and often took them out to warn himself.These principles are well written and you can use them as a reference:

Memorize other people's names. If you can't do it, it means that you don't care much about others. Make the other person feel that there is no sense of restraint when they are with you, just like wearing comfortable clothes and hats. You have to cultivate the ability to deal with everything calmly and calmly. Don't boast about your strengths and avoid the "I know it all" megalomaniac. Make people feel that they will be able to get something from him. Work hard to eliminate all past and present shortcomings. To be able to truly love others. For a successful person, you should sincerely congratulate him, and for a sad and depressed person, you should comfort him in a timely manner.

Be a spiritual force for everyone so that they will definitely accept you again. 1. Transposition communication must first understand the psychology and position of the other party. 2. Standing in the other side's position does not mean giving up your own position.Otherwise, without your own position, transposition communication will not be successful. 3. Only by doing a good job in your own communication can you do a good job in empathy communication. 4. "Role-playing" is a very meaningful way of transposition communication, but the suitability of doing so should be considered: who is suitable for it?What preparations do you need to do to play?Only in this way can the role play be done well.