Chapter 75 "Role-playing" to resolve differences

Sometimes, due to various interests, conflicts and even disputes will inevitably arise in the process of getting along between the two parties. At this time, how to solve it? "Role-playing" is a good method of transposition communication.The famous trainer Mr. Yu Shiwei once told the story of communication between himself and his daughter: In the past few days, my daughter has been muttering about what her mother is doing wrong, and even questioning that she is not a good mother.My wife and I said privately: "It's time to fix her again, and the drill has started..." We walked over to our daughter and said, "My dear, these days you keep saying that your mother is not doing well enough, so you must be able to be What a good mother! Well, then you will be the mother, and we will be the brother and sister."

"Dad, are you kidding?" "No kidding, really." "Okay, I'll show you." At around 5:30 the next morning, I walked into my daughter's room: "Mom, wake up, my sister and I are hungry, go and get us breakfast!" "Oh, Dad, what time is it now?" Let me sleep a little longer." "Mom always gets up very early, it's already late today. Hurry up, I want to eat egg pancakes, my sister wants to eat grilled sausage and it's not spicy. The money is on the table downstairs superior." "Where to buy it, I don't know." "Turn into a small alley 400 meters ahead, and then turn right 200 meters and there is a breakfast shop."

She got up to brush her teeth and wash her face, but I hurriedly stopped her: "Mom doesn't even brush her teeth and wash her face, I'll go buy breakfast first." In desperation, she rode out to buy it.After buying it, I wanted to eat something, and I said, "Mom never eats it, leave it for us to eat, and you have to wash the dishes!" After washing the dishes, she wanted to go to sleep again, and I said, "Mom , It’s time to clean the house.” She cleaned for more than an hour, and I said, “Mom, I’m going to the market to buy vegetables. We want to eat dumplings at noon, and add some vegetables. The menu is written for you.”

Speechlessly, she rode her bicycle to the vegetable market again, but she didn't come back after more than half an hour. Her mother was worried, so she went to find her.Later, because she couldn't tell which dishes were which, she kept wandering around in the market. When we got home, we didn’t help her because she was the only one cooking lunch. She didn’t know how to cook many dishes, and cooking dumplings was even more laborious. We didn’t eat dumplings until one or two in the afternoon.Then I asked her to do the laundry. Some clothes could not be washed in the washing machine but had to be washed by hand. She worked hard for nearly two hours, thinking: I can take a rest now.I said: "Mom, hurry up and prepare dinner, we are going to starve to death at such a slow speed like you."

At this time, she cried and said with tears in her eyes, "Dad, I was wrong, don't continue." "You know you were wrong now? Your mother has worked hard for you for more than ten years. Have you ever seen her complain? She worked so hard to pull you to such an age, but you said she was not good at this or that? In the future Don't let me hear these words again!" In this way, she realized that "it turns out that what my mother did was not done by a human being", and she dared not say anything in the future! Mr. Yu Shiwei let his daughter know his mistakes through role-playing, and let her experience the greatness of being a "mother".

It is not only in the family that complaints can be resolved through role play.In the workplace, you can also use this method to achieve good communication. In the workplace, due to the different division of labor between colleagues and different departments, it is inevitable that there will be various differences and contradictions.How to resolve these contradictions?Someone invented the method of "role-playing". "Role-playing" is to allow all members of the company to put themselves in other people's situations, understand other people's psychology and behavior, so as to adjust the relationship between company members.In order to solve the mutual complaints between superiors and subordinates, a company had to switch positions between employees and managers, allowing employees to perform the duties of the manager and the manager to complete the work of the employees.Three days later, both the manager and the staff said with deep emotion: "It turns out that being a manager (staff) is not easy." "It turns out that when the other party does this, I also feel unhappy." They will be able to understand each other and work more happily and harmoniously.

In fact, this method of transposition communication is to enable both parties to consider issues from the perspective of the other party.It is an important skill to understand and respect people to think about problems from the standpoint of the other party. People think about problems and things mostly from their own point of view. Similarly, there may be great differences in views on the same thing. Therefore, in the process of mutual communication, in order to better understand, help and care for people, it is necessary to look at problems from the other side's standpoint."Changing positions" with others in everything will surely enhance understanding and support, which will be conducive to the development of all aspects of work.

In particular, it needs to be pointed out that for the boss, it is very helpful for the boss to think about the problem from the standpoint of the subordinate.For example, when the boss asks his secretary to print a document, he says "Please do me a favor" and "Thank you for your hard work!" Let the secretary feel that his work is valued and appreciated by the boss, knowing that he is ordered by People, he will readily agree.The quality and efficiency of subordinate work have been improved.Occasionally, the boss said something inappropriate or did a puzzling thing, and the staff can also express their understanding tolerantly.In this way, the relationship between the top and bottom of the company is harmonious, and there is always an endless energy in work.

In addition, smart managers should also pay attention to creating opportunities for employees to vent their resentment, including their own resentment. This is a kind of broad tolerance and mind, and it is also a manifestation of sacrificing self-interest.In the management process, managers should try their best to let their subordinates fully express their emotions and opinions. Panasonic once set up a portrait of the general manager made of rubber. If employees have any complaints about their superiors, they can pick up a big stick and hit the "general manager" to vent their grievances and grievances.After the employee's anger subsides, the employee can go to the next room, where there are dedicated managers to listen to the employees' opinions and suggestions.

Dealing with conflicts in communication, proceeding from the interests of the other party, and playing the role of the other party is a higher level of transposition communication. During the Warring States Period, Liang State and Chu State bordered each other, and the two countries set up border pavilions on the border, and the pavilion guards also planted watermelons in their respective fields.The soldiers of Liang Ting are hard-working, often weeding and watering, and the melon seedlings grow very well; while the soldiers of Chu Ting are lazy and never take care of the melon fields, and the melon seedlings are thin and weak, which cannot be compared with the growth of the melon fields opposite.The people in Chu Ting felt that they had lost face. One day, in the dark of night, they sneaked over and tore off all the melon seedlings in Liang Ting.

The people from Liangting found out the next day, they were so angry that they reported it to Song Jiu, the magistrate of Bian County, saying that we should also go there and tear off their melon seedlings!Song said: "It's obviously despicable to do this! But we obviously don't want them to tear off our melon seedlings, so why do we turn around and tear other people's melon seedlings? Others are wrong. If we follow suit, it will be too narrow-minded. Yes. You listen to me, from today on, go to water their melon seedlings every night, so that their melon seedlings will grow well, and when you do this, you must not let them know." After listening to Song Jiu's words, Liang Ting's people felt that it made sense, so they followed suit.The people in Chu Ting found that their melon seedlings were growing better day by day. After careful observation, they found that they had been watered every morning, and the people in Liang Ting quietly watered them in the dark. The county magistrate of Bian County in Chu State felt ashamed and admired when he heard the report of the pavilion soldiers, so he reported the matter to the King of Chu.When the king of Chu heard about it, he also felt grateful for the sincerity of the people of Liang to build a good relationship with their neighbors. He specially prepared a special gift for the king of Liang to show his self-blame and reward. As a result, the pair of enemy countries became friendly neighbors. Song knew that the other party wanted his melons to grow well, so he took the initiative to play the role of the other party's waterer.This practice of sacrificing one's own interests for the other party has won the other party's generous treatment.Sacrificing self-interest means not caring about personal interests, being strict with self-discipline, being lenient to others, and voluntarily sacrificing personal interests for the needs of others.People who are good at sacrificing self-interest are always welcomed and loved by others. When the two parties have conflicts and awkwardness, if one party can tolerate and take the initiative to reconcile, this quality of tolerance and tolerance is also a manifestation of being good at sacrificing self-interest. Over time, this excellent character will definitely be liked by everyone. Those who really understand and are good at sacrificing self-interest are very clear: a short-term loss of immediate interests may be exchanged for greater interests.Those smart communicators understand that: starting from the long-term overall interests, with the attitude of "sacrificing a little self-interest is okay", it will inevitably help to establish a wider and more stable network of relationships. Song is thinking from a long-term perspective: If both sides slap me because of the melon field incident, I will slap you back. If this continues, it will not be beneficial to both parties.And if one side voluntarily withdraws and goes to the other side's field to act as a "melon farmer" for a while, letting others take a step, what will be reaped is a long-term friendship.