Chapter 74 think for others, plan for yourself

Some people think that their own interests are the most important. They think that only after satisfying their own interests can they consider other people's interests. This is the only way to make money. Don't you know that others have already seen through your personality and are unwilling to cooperate with you.Therefore, no matter what profession we are in, no matter who we face, we should not rush to consider our own gains and losses, but first consider the interests of the other party. Sometimes when we help others, we help ourselves. Opportunities often lie hidden in our eyes. To a place within reach.

Mr. Wan went to a furniture store to promote a product, but was "closed" as soon as he opened his mouth.Mr. Wan was very embarrassed by the refusal of the store manager, but he still smiled and said: "It's okay, then I will be one of your customers." The manager had to welcome this. After looking at the products, Mr. Wan pointed to a high-quality imported mattress and asked the store manager how it was selling. The manager couldn't help but sighed: "Generally, customers always have a process of understanding a new brand." Mr. Wan gave him an "idea": put a mattress at the entrance of the stairs, and set up a notice board next to the door, which read: "Break a spring, and I will give you a bed." The manager was skeptical complied.As a result, customers jumping on the bed first when entering the store became a scene in the mall. People came here after hearing the news, jumping and jumping one after another, laughing constantly, and the subsequent economic benefits can be imagined.Later, the manager of the mall specially invited Mr. Wan to a banquet and offered to sell his products in the mall.When Mr. Wan was rejected, he could have just walked away, but instead he ignored the previous suspicions, considered for the manager, and solved the problem for the store manager. In the end, he also solved his own product problem.

An important principle of interpersonal communication is to think for the other party first, and then plan for yourself.If a person puts his own interests first in everything, we often say that this person is selfish and despise him as a human being, so we will naturally seldom interact with him.On the contrary, if a person considers others in everything, then we will admire him as a person and be willing to associate with him.Thinking of ourselves and others, in order to create a harmonious and good interpersonal communication environment, we should consider each other as much as possible.

Dealing with interpersonal relationships is like fishing. If you want to get a friend or a client, the first thing you need to consider is: what do they like?What can you do to satisfy them?What draws them to you?If you want to catch different fish, you need to put in different baits. During the American War of Independence, the senior general Yi Te Qiaoqi once said: "If you want to be in a high position, then you should understand the principle of fishing. Starting from the fish's desire, the fish can only take the bait if they put the right bait. This is The truth couldn’t be simpler. Different fish need different baits, if you use one kind of bait to catch different fish for a long time, you will definitely be in vain.”

This is indeed a talk of experience and a summary of wisdom.Some people only think about themselves, regardless of the feelings of the other party, and only have the word "I" in their minds.Why do so many people like the word "I" in the head?This childlike thought is unreasonable and immature.Of course, it is impossible and impractical to completely disregard one's own feelings.It is human nature to meet one's own needs and achieve one's own goals, but if you hold the belief that "people are not for themselves, heaven and earth will destroy" in everything and become a full-fledged egoist, then you will be indifferent to others, Then you don't expect others to take good care of you.

Carnegie said: "The only way in the world to influence the other party is to always care about the other party's needs, and to find ways to meet the other party's needs." In fact, meeting the needs of the other party does not require you to pay a lot. Sometimes you only need to change your way of speaking.For example, when you don't want others to do something, you don't have to express your opinion sternly and positively, you can prohibit it from another angle.If you don't want your kid to smoke, you don't need to educate him, you just say "if you smoke, you can't make the basketball team" or something.And joining the basketball team is exactly what your child hopes to succeed, so he will consciously give up the idea of ​​smoking.

Sometimes, the more people think about their own interests, the less they can achieve their goals.If you start from the interests of the other party and consider the other party's ideas more, things that seem difficult to accomplish may be easily done. Once, Emerson and his son wanted to drive a calf into the cowshed, but both father and son made the same mistake. They only thought of what they wanted, but they didn't think of what the calf wanted.Emerson pushed behind and his son pulled in front, but the calf only wanted what he wanted, so no matter how hard he pulled, he would not leave the grass.

This scene was seen by the maid.This maid can't write books or articles, but she knows what Mavericks wants. I saw the maid put her thumb into the calf's mouth and let the calf suck her thumb.As a result, the maid used a very gentle method to introduce the stubborn calf into the cowshed. These principles are the most obvious, but people often "only think about themselves" behavior habits are difficult to change.Because since you were born into this world, the starting point of everything you do is for yourself, because of what you need. Maybe some people will question: "Not necessarily. For example, donating money, clothes, etc., are we also doing it for ourselves?" In fact, this is no exception. Charity; or you may be too embarrassed to say no, so donate.But one thing is for sure: you donate because you need something.

In Influencing Human Behavior, Professor Halley said: "Any action is born of basic desires... The best advice for anyone who wants to persuade others is to In political affairs and politics, one must first arouse some urgent needs of the other side, and if this can be done, one can have both sides, otherwise one may hit a wall everywhere.” How to deal with the relationship between people is very complicated and requires skill.Here, we quote a very famous quote to give you some good advice. Henry Ford said, "If you want to have a secret to everlasting success, the secret is how to put yourself in the other person's shoes -- a position that the other person feels but isn't necessarily real."

Being able to master this secret and apply it in real life is an ability, and this ability is your skill for success. Now you can try to see from someone else's point of view and see if this idea is in your consciousness.If not, you should review where you are not doing enough.If your point of view is basically the same as his, then you can start to think about how to improve your ability. Finally, it is necessary to repeat Ford's words again to impress you.Here it is: "If there's one secret to permanent success, it's how to put yourself in the other person's shoes."