Chapter 73 Empathy, communication without trouble

A piglet, a sheep and a cow are kept in the same corral.On one occasion, Shepherd caught pig, loud howl, violently resisted.The sheep and cows hated its howling, and said, "He often catches us, and we don't howl." After hearing this, the little pig replied: "Catching you is completely different from catching me. He only wants your hair and milk when he catches you, but he wants to kill me when he catches you!" Problems, it is inevitable to take the serious problems encountered by others so lightly.Therefore, thinking about problems from the perspective of the other party can make us understand and tolerate people better, thus helping to communicate and cooperate better.When we talk with people, we can get good communication effects by using empathy.

Everyone needs care and help from others.Therefore, from the perspective of the other party, finding out what the other party needs to care about is an always popular topic in communication. There was a female reporter who had a brief conversation with Queen Elizabeth at a cocktail party.At the beginning, she asked the queen if she had inspected the iron mine in the wind and rain yesterday, which surprised the queen very much. It turned out that the queen's coat was stained with reddish-brown slag, and it was only discovered after a female reporter reminded her. Since the female reporter's conversation started with the topic of caring about the Queen, it naturally aroused the Queen's goodwill, which made the atmosphere of the conversation very harmonious, and the conversation was successful.

Some people who can persuade others often choose some topics similar to the experience of the person being persuaded to explain the other party.After the other party listens, they will definitely feel warm in their hearts. If you don't pay attention to empathy, and only think about how to achieve your goal, but ignore other people's feelings, it will often make communication unhappy. There are several "forbidden areas" and "sensitive areas" in the topic of conversation, so they should also be carefully avoided in conversation.For example, avoid talking to the unfortunate about the past of his misfortune, even the misfortune of others will cause the unfortunate to feel the pain of sympathy; when talking to the relatives of the disabled, it is best not to mention the disabled in his family, or related to it. things, and so on.

In business dealings, thinking about issues from the perspective of the other party can make you more prosperous. "Although our company really wants to upgrade the computer, the most important thing is the cost consideration." The customer said to the computer salesman. Faced with the customer's hesitation, the computer sales representative said: "I also consider it from the perspective of your company. Who doesn't want to save costs! That's why I made this suggestion to let your company use upgraded computers, not only to deal with The speed is fast, and more application software can be used, so that personnel expenses and other business costs can be greatly reduced, and in the long run, your company can save more money.”

As soon as the other party heard that they could save more costs, they immediately agreed to sign the contract.This order is a big order signed by their company. The computer salesman did not directly refute the other party's "considerations", but accepted the other party's thinking and considered for the other party. As a result, a deal was signed because of the other party's perspective. Empathy can also be applied in the workplace.Every company will have more or less stubborn or radical employees. At this time, as the boss, you can say to your subordinates: "I agree with your opinion very much, and I am willing to support you to do it. However, as long as there are any mistakes, As a supporter, I will be criticized and even have to shoulder the responsibility. At that time, I am afraid that no one will dare to support you anymore."

There are words in these words, which means that the subordinates are asked to consider the problem for you from your perspective.Radical subordinates will calm down and reflect on themselves when they think that they will hurt you; or, subordinates who are confident in themselves will be particularly careful when performing this task that you support him, so as not to lose you, the only supporter . When faced with the mistakes of others, we tend to only think about the problem from the perspective of needing to criticize the mistakes.But, is that right?Take a look at the story below before making a judgement.

Once, everyone wanted to smash to death a woman who was caught in adultery.Jesus said: "Whoever is without sin among you may be the first to throw a stone at her." Everyone present had a guilty conscience, and no one threw her in the end. Why did everyone become afraid to do anything before this question from Jesus?Because no one is qualified to do it--just think that they, too, could be wrong, and they can sympathize with the woman. Even the most incompetent people are often able to speak out when they blame others; even the most intelligent people are often confused when it comes to their own shortcomings.In order to avoid such mistakes, you have to learn to empathize and adjust the "track" of behavior on this basis.

Empathy, learning to tolerate and understand other people's mistakes can make you more friendly in communication.At the same time, those who are tolerated by you will be grateful to you.There is no guarantee that this kind of gratitude will not be transformed into a motivation to repay you in the future.