Chapter 61 There is a way to learn to give in

There is a president of the United States named Ma Xinli, who was strongly opposed by some people because of the employment problem.At one congressional meeting, a member of Parliament taunted him roughly to his face.He tried his best to endure it without attacking.After the other party finished scolding, he said in a gentle tone: "You should be calm now. Normally, you don't have the right to question me like this, but I'm still willing to explain it to you in detail..." His forbearance His attitude made the congressman blush, and his hostile attitude towards Ma Xinli immediately eased.

Just imagine, if Ma Xinli was able to take advantage of his position and advantage to fight back aggressively, the other party would never be convinced.It can be seen that when the two sides are in a state of sharp confrontation, the forbearance attitude of the reasonable person can "cool down" the antagonistic emotions. Here are some ways to give in when the time comes. In "General Xianghe", Lin Xiangru actively avoids Lian Po, and does not have any direct friction with Lian Po. This is the most basic way of giving in.In the end, he won Lian Po's pleading guilty and created a political situation of internal unity for Zhao Guo.In ancient times, some people with lofty ideals often used this method to refuse to cooperate with the authorities.

Yang Huo is a retainer of Ji's family, the power minister of the Lu State, and a figure who actually controls the Lu State's political power. He is arrogant and plots evil.At that time, Confucius had a great reputation in the state of Lu, and all political forces wanted to win Confucius into their camp, and Yanghuo was no exception.But Confucius was unmoved and concentrated on studying knowledge at home. One day, Yang Huo was going to Confucius' house.Confucius learned the news in advance and avoided it.But Yanghuo sent a roast suckling pig to Confucius' family.According to the rules at that time, "it is inappropriate to come and not to go", Confucius must also go to Yanghuo's house to pay homage.

Although Confucius couldn't afford to offend Yang goods, he didn't want to have any contact with him. He would get a bad reputation of associating with rebellious officials and thieves, and give his political opponents an excuse to attack him.He thought of an idea, to pay respects to Yang Huo when he was not at home, so as not to be rude, but also to preserve his reputation. Unexpectedly, Confucius collided with Yanghuo on the way. Yang Huo said to Confucius, "Come on, I have something to tell you. Is it benevolence that you don't use your abilities and allow the country to be chaotic?"

Confucius had no choice but to say perfunctorily, "No." Yang Huo said again: "You like to participate in political affairs so much, but you miss opportunities repeatedly. Is this wisdom?" Confucius said, "No." Yang Huo presses on: "Time passes day by day, age waits for no one." Confucius said: "Very well, I will become an official." From the heart of Confucius, he hated Yang goods, but he had no power to stop him, so he tried to avoid direct conflict with him and maintain a normal relationship on the surface.Although Confucius verbally said that he wanted to be an official, in fact, he always took care of himself under the current situation where Yanghuo dominated the government.

In life, there are often some people who are particularly stubborn, and it is very easy to argue with others about some things, and the smell of gunpowder is strong.At this time, the right party should be magnanimous. He can explain and compromise at the same time. It is best to use non-irritating "50 big boards each" or "Hello, I'm ok". in order to avoid the expansion of conflicts. Once, a gentleman had dinner at his father-in-law's house. During the meal, Weng and his son-in-law chatted about the construction of a highway.The gentleman emphasized: "The progress of the road has been delayed again and again, which is a serious mistake of the parties concerned." But the father-in-law disagreed, thinking that the road should not have been built in the first place.The two talked to each other, and the debate became more and more intense.

Later, the father-in-law brought the problem to "Young people are selfish and have no awareness of environmental protection", obviously criticizing this gentleman.The gentleman was afraid of hurting his peace by further arguing, so he began to calm down, and he said tactfully: "Maybe our views will never agree, but that's okay, maybe we are all right, maybe we are all wrong , which is also unknown.” This gentleman's words not only set a stage for himself, but also saved his father-in-law's face.It avoids the endless arguments between the two sides, the expansion of contradictions, and the impact on feelings.Just imagine, if that gentleman continued to argue with his father-in-law, what would happen?It is likely to anger the old father-in-law and get scolded.

Sometimes, we come across people who are angry.People get angry because they don't understand each other and lack communication.At this time, the right party must not use anger to control anger because of the other party's fault.The best way is to explain more, find ways to communicate or apologize, comfort, and reach an understanding or consensus with the other party. In a hospital, patients filled the waiting room.A patient lined up in the line and did not move a step even after reading the newspaper in his hand. So he was so angry that he knocked on the window of the duty room and shouted to the duty staff: "What kind of hospital are you? There are so many people queuing up to you. Can’t see it? Why don’t you want to solve it? I have something urgent this afternoon!” Facing the patient’s anger, the on-duty officer patiently explained in a gentle tone: “I’m sorry to keep you waiting for so long. That’s right, the doctor is going to operate I can't get out for a while to rescue a critically ill patient. I'll call again to see how long it will take for him to come out. Thank you for your patience."

It is not the duty officer who is responsible for patients queuing up to receive timely diagnosis and treatment. However, in the face of patients’ mistakes, he calmly explains and comforts them. up. A husband didn't return all night, and only returned home the next day like a ghost. The wife complained a few words, and the two quarreled with each other.Suddenly, the wife said: "Forget it, it's nothing special, it's become fashionable for men not to go home at night - the only thing I want to remind you is that there are still scenery in familiar places!" Beat the dog in the water", just a few words of ridicule, and the conflict ended gracefully.

As far as most couples are concerned, neither side wants to fight a protracted war in the cold war. The key question is who will take the initiative to break the deadlock in the cold war. Show weakness and tell softness.Regardless of which side, as long as you don’t want the cold war between husband and wife to threaten the family, as long as you want to quickly end the cold war and normalize the relationship between husband and wife, you should learn the following tricks: Don't talk too much, and leave room for the other party. Invite mutual friends to be guests or ask each other to watch a movie, and take the opportunity to strike up a conversation.

The hot face meets the cold butt, showing "attention" to the other party. Avoid embarrassment by making a phone call and finding an excuse to talk. Ask the other person for a small favor to break the ice. Let the other person care by pretending to be sick or unwell. In short, there are many ways to break the deadlock, and the grievances between husband and wife should be solved rather than ended.The fundamental point is: Under no circumstances should there be any bad attitudes such as giving the other party a little color, punishing the other party, or forcing him (her) to bow his head and confess his guilt.Have something to say, be reasonable and reasonable, rather quarrel than cold war, this is an experience summed up by many harmonious couples.And once no one takes the initiative to mediate for you in the cold war, it is up to the "bell-tiers" on both sides to work hard to untie the "bell" of silence. In the U.S. military, soldiers are not allowed to have long hair.However, General Haig, then commander-in-chief of NATO forces, had long hair.A soldier was dissatisfied with this, so he found a photo of General Haig from the newspaper, pasted it on the door of the lieutenant's office, drew an arrow pointing to the long hair of the commander-in-chief, and wrote: Please look at his hair .When the commander saw this ingenious "protest letter", he didn't try to find out whose masterpiece it was, but extended the arrow to point to the commander-in-chief's collar patch, and wrote a line: Please see his official rank! If a general called his subordinates to criticize him because he was criticized, it would appear too shameless, and he would lose the demeanor of a general.However, the general adjusted the arrow in a humorous way without going into details, and the effect is self-evident.