Chapter 59 Tolerance and concession, benefit others and self

The story of Yang Zhu is recorded in "Miscellaneous Notes of Yupu". Yang Zhu's neighbor lost a chicken and accused him of being stolen by the Yang family.The family was furious, so they told Yang Zhu about it, and wanted to ask him to go to a neighbor to discuss it.But Yang Zhu said: "It's not our family surnamed Yang here, so how do you know we are the ones scolding, let him scold you!" There is also a neighbor who, whenever it rains, puts the accumulated water in his yard to Yang Zhu's house, which makes Yang Zhu's house suffer from floods as if flooded.The family told Yang Zhu, but he advised them: "There are always less rains and more sunny days."

As time passed, the neighbors were all moved by Yang Zhu's tolerance, and they came to his house to plead guilty.One year, a group of thieves conspired to rob Yang Zhu's property. After learning about this, the neighbors took the initiative to organize to help Yang's family watch at night to guard against thieves, which saved the Yang family from this disaster. People live in a complicated world, and they are inextricably linked with others. It is inevitable that bumps and frictions will occur.At this time, if there is hatred all over the sky, if there is reason and no forgiveness, the consequence can only be that both sides will suffer, and the net will be broken. If the way of tolerance and concession is adopted, then "the sea and the sky will be taken a step back, and the wind and waves will be calm for a while."When the other party feels that he has benefited from your tolerance and concession and feels that he owes you, it is time for you to get compensation.The compensation Yang Zhu received was much more and heavier than what he lost due to the concession. Comparing the two, it is self-evident which one is more cost-effective.Tolerant concession is a kind of wisdom in life and a magic weapon to establish good interpersonal relationship.The pain of giving in can be exchanged for living in harmony.

A gentleman crossed a single-plank bridge and met a pregnant woman just after walking a few steps.The gentleman turned around politely and went back to the bridge to let the pregnant woman cross.As soon as the pregnant woman crossed the bridge, the gentleman stepped onto the bridge again.Walking to the middle of the bridge, he met a woodcutter carrying firewood. The gentleman returned to the bridge without saying a word, and let the woodcutter cross the bridge.The third time the gentleman did not rush onto the bridge again, but waited for all the people on the single-plank bridge to pass before he hurriedly boarded the bridge.

As soon as we reached the end of the bridge, a farmer pushing a wheelbarrow rushed to meet him.This time the gentleman was unwilling to look back, took off his hat, saluted the farmer and said: "Dear Mr. Farmer, you see that I am about to reach the bridge, can you let me go first?" The farmer quit, stared at him, and said: "Didn't you see me push the cart to the market?" The words were not speculative, and the two began to argue.At this time, a small boat floated on the river, and a fat monk was sitting on the boat.As soon as the monk arrived under the bridge, the two asked the monk to judge for them.

The monk clasped his hands together, looked at the farmer, and asked him, "Are you really in a hurry?" The farmer replied: "I'm really in a hurry, and I won't be able to catch the set if I'm late." The monk said: "Since you are in a hurry to go to the market, why don't you give way to the gentleman as soon as possible? You only need to step back a few steps, and the gentleman will pass by. Once the gentleman passes, can't you cross the bridge earlier?" The farmer didn't say a word, and the monk smiled and asked the gentleman, "Why do you ask the farmer to make way for you? Is it because you are approaching the bridge?"

The gentleman argued: "I have given way to many people. If I continue to give way to farmers, I will not be able to cross the bridge." "Then are you going to pass now?" The monk asked back, "Since you have given way to so many people, let the farmer once again, even if you can't cross the bridge, at least you can keep your demeanor, why not do it?" What?" The gentleman blushed. Some people say that tolerance is a symbol of weakness, but it is not true. Tolerance that is suspected of weakness cannot be called true tolerance at all.Tolerance is a rare good state in life, and it is a state that needs to be practiced and practiced to achieve.

There is such a line in Shakespeare's famous play: "Tolerance is like the drizzle from the sky that nourishes the earth. It blesses the tolerant and also blesses the tolerant." If you treat others with tolerance, others will also And treat you. Psychologists point out that moderate tolerance is beneficial to improving interpersonal relationships and physical and mental health.A large number of facts have proved that if you will not tolerate others, you will also bring disaster to yourself.People who are too demanding on others or themselves must be in a state of tension. If the inner conflict or emotional crisis is difficult to resolve, it will easily lead to endocrine dysfunction in the body, such as excessive secretion of adrenaline and noradrenaline, causing a series of adverse physiological and chemical changes in the body, resulting in increased blood pressure, rapid heartbeat, and digestive juices. Decreased secretion, gastrointestinal dysfunction, etc.; and may be accompanied by dizziness, insomnia, dreaminess, fatigue, loss of appetite, upset and other symptoms.

The stimulation of nervous psychology will affect endocrine function, and the change of endocrine function will in turn increase people's nervous psychology, forming a vicious circle and harming physical and mental health.Some radicals even lose their minds and cause disasters, causing serious consequences.And once you forgive others, you will go through a huge psychological transformation and purification process, which will bring about a new turning point in interpersonal relationships, and many worries and depressions can be avoided or eliminated.