Chapter 47 Hit the side to keep harmony

We always encounter some unfair things and unfair people in our lives, and we have to express our dissatisfaction; sometimes we need to criticize people close to us to let them understand.But how to express has a certain amount of knowledge, especially for some non-principle issues, it is really not easy to express dissatisfaction with the other party without destroying the harmonious interpersonal relationship.The side-shooting method may well be an ideal method. That is not to tell each other directly, but to call the other party tactfully from the side, so that they can understand their dissatisfaction and get rid of the wrong idea.This technique is usually expressed in the form of questions.

For example, A and B are good friends, and they both regard each other as confidants.Once, a colleague C said to A: "A, I always feel that this guy B is a bit too serious, almost to the point of stubbornness, don't you think so?" When A heard C's words, he felt disgusted and thought: you This kid is belittling my good friend behind his back, is he immoral?But he was not easy to get angry, so he pretended to be serious and said: "C, let me ask you first, I talk to you about my good friend behind my back, if he finds out, will he turn against me?" As soon as C heard this , his face turned red, and he fell silent.

Faced with C's question, A did not directly answer "yes" or "no", but changed the topic and posed a difficult problem for the other party, and this difficult problem can just play the role of instructing the other party, which not only implies that "B is My good friend, I will not talk about him with you", which also implies dissatisfaction with C talking behind his back and belittling B.At the same time, because this kind of advice is more tactful and subtle, it will not embarrass the other party too much. That is to compare two things with a certain similarity, suggesting that the other party's words and deeds are inappropriate, so that they can understand their dissatisfaction.For example, the manager of Company A was contradicted by the staff of Company B during a business negotiation.He angrily called the manager of Company B and said, "If you don't promise me that you will remove the unreasonable employee from his position last time, then you obviously have no sincerity in reaching an agreement with our company."

The manager of Company B smiled slightly after hearing this, and said: "Mr. Manager, whether to criticize and educate the staff or to dismiss them is entirely an internal matter of our company, and there is no need to make any guarantee to your company. This is not the same as ours. If you don’t require your board of directors to remove the managers who have had conflicts with our company’s staff, it is the same as your sincerity in reaching an agreement with us.” The manager of company A was suddenly speechless.Here, the manager of Company B has used the technique of analogy warning very well.Although there are many differences between companies A and B, there is one point that is similar, that is, the punishment of employees or managers by companies A and B is entirely an internal matter of each company, and has nothing to do with the sincerity of the other party. The manager of company B grasped this similarity for comparison, and warned the other party for the excessive and unreasonable request, expressing his dissatisfaction with the manager of company A who had an overbearing attitude.What needs to be explained is: Although this technique expresses dissatisfaction in a more obvious tone, it does not contain warning elements like the "bluntly speaking" technique, so it is called "analog warning" instead of "analog warning" .

Some girls like to get angry with their boyfriends at every turn to show that they have personality.If the girl is the apple of the eye of her parents, she cannot tolerate dissatisfaction with her.Some infatuated boys will rush to make amends and apologize for fear of offending their "princess" because a certain sentence of theirs has caused their girlfriend's displeasure, and what's more, they will belittle themselves and ask for forgiveness to show their loyalty to their lovers.In fact, there is no need to be so. When Xiao Xu, the daughter of a certain bureau chief, and Xiao Li of his unit fell in love, he always showed a certain sense of superiority, because Xiao Li was a farm boy, and he was a staff member in the bureau after graduating from college, without any backing.Once when Xiao Xu visited Xiao Li's house as a guest, he always showed unpleasant emotions towards some living habits of Xiao Li's family, and whispered in Xiao Li's ear from time to time.After dinner, she called Xiao Li's sister around, ordering water to be boiled and foot wipes.Xiao Li looked very uncomfortable in his eyes.He took the opportunity to smile and said to his younger sister: "To be a master, you must first learn as an apprentice! You can step up your training now, and when you marry into someone else's family, you can put on the airs of a master." Xiao Li said, Xiao Xu seemed to have heard something at the time, and later had to express in front of Xiao Li that he was a little too much.Xiao Li took no time to remind Xiao Xu with the saying "to be a master, learn from an apprentice first" to avoid direct conflict.The result of this is that even if the other party is slightly dissatisfied at the time, they will wake up later.

Humor is the lubricant of interpersonal relationships, and sometimes using humor to express dissatisfaction with the other party is also a good way.Here's a little humor: In a restaurant, a fussy woman orders fried eggs.She said to the waitress: "The egg whites must be well-cooked, but the yolks must be raw and must still flow. Don't use too much oil for frying, put less salt, and add a little pepper. Also, it must be a country egg." Fresh eggs laid by a hen." "Excuse me," the waitress said softly, "the hen's name is Jane, does it suit you?" In this short story, the waitress uses the technique of humorous reminder.Facing the picky female customer, the female waitress did not directly express her dissatisfaction with the harsh request made by the other party, but followed the other party's thinking and asked a more absurd question to remind the other party: Your request is too much, we cannot meet it .Thus humorously expressed dissatisfaction with the female customer.