Chapter 25 Decipher the opponent's psychological code

Some people exaggerately describe the social field as a "battlefield".Then, if you want to successfully win the "battle", you must know yourself and your enemy.Therefore, it is very necessary to learn how to detect each other's psychology.In the process of interacting with others, from the choice of words when talking, you can peep into the other person's inner state and understand how you should respond. Because the way of talking will reflect a person's psychological state at that time, the more in-depth the conversation will reveal his true colors.Therefore, the way of speaking and the choice of words are undoubtedly an important basis for ascertaining a person's true character and psychological state.

When the topic reaches the core part, the speed and tone of speech are the key for us to detect the deep psychological consciousness of the other party.Of course, the tone of speech is also an important point that cannot be ignored. Skillfully analyze the tone, speed, and tone of the other party's conversation, and explore what the other party is thinking in their hearts. This is the key to creating a harmonious interpersonal relationship. People with different identities speak different languages. Some people speak vulgarly and vulgarly, some speak courteously, some speak richly and truthfully, and of course some speak empty and incomprehensible.In short, when a person speaks, it can often reflect what connotation he has.

Noble, elegant, and extraordinary people speak softly and fluently, and they often use elegant greetings.However, this kind of people should be divided into two types, one kind of people is the same as the outside, and the other kind of people is duplicity.Many of the latter are people who are noble in appearance but ugly in heart. They don't want the other party to notice the purpose they are trying to hide, so they speak in a gentle tone. On the contrary, people who speak frankly and do not deliberately modify words appear to be more innocent.This type of person does not change his way of talking to his superiors or subordinates, to the same sex or the opposite sex.In addition, when meeting for the first time, this kind of person's likes and dislikes are quite obvious, either they are very impatient, or they are very affectionate, like treating a close friend for many years.

In addition, a person who cries and tears when he talks about his sadness shows that he is very dependent.Although such people usually appear to be amiable and flattering, they are actually very selfish and self-willed, and most of them are unpopular characters.People who are prone to tears have a tried and tested housekeeping skill, which is to use a half-crying and half-crying tone to impress the compassion of others in order to achieve their own goals.This pattern cannot be changed in a lifetime. Some people are not good at words, and they falter when they speak.Some of this type of people are unable to articulate what they want to say because of lack of expressive ability; some are feminine, deep in thinking or narrow in measurement;

People who don't listen to the other party and only care about their own eloquence and spittle are of the tough type. The biggest weakness of this kind of person is that their self-esteem is too strong, and they often like to be one step ahead of others.As long as this kind of person is willing to listen to him quietly with "um, um" when he is talking, he can gain a good impression. Language and facial expressions often reveal a person's character traits.We should be clear about each other's identity and character traits.Extroverts are easy to "laugh a lot", and they can talk freely with him; most introverts are "reticent", so you should pay attention to euphemism and persuasion with him.

During the conversation, we should grasp these psychological codes of the other party and take timely coping methods.If during the conversation, regardless of the psychological changes of the other party, and blindly bring out all the ideas, then you will not get his approval.Wishful thinking is often disgusting to the other side.If you speak when you should not speak, you are guilty of impatience; if you do not speak when you should speak, you will lose the opportunity to speak; In the process of conversation, the psychological activities of both parties are in a gradual state, which requires us to take into account the other party's psychological activities when talking with others, so that the content of the conversation and the change of the listener's mood are adapted and synchronized, so that the conversation can be smooth and smooth. The intention is to clarify and resonate.

If you don't put yourself in other people's shoes and think about it, but only talk about it blindly, the result will inevitably be to lose batch after batch of conversation partners.Therefore, treating communication opponents differently in conversation is the key to success in interpersonal communication. We can capture the other party's psychological activities through the other party's facial expressions.The following "face language" is relatively easy to read: Blush on the face is usually a sign of shyness or excitement; blue and white face is an expression of anger, anger or frightened and extremely nervous.

Frowning generally expresses disapproval, annoyance, or even anger; raising eyebrows generally expresses various emotions such as excitement and surprise; flickering eyebrows generally expresses welcome or strengthening the tone; eyebrow shrugging is slower than flickering, and the eyebrows stay for a short time after raising the eyebrows and then lower , expressing surprise or sadness. Closed lips represent harmony, tranquility, dignity and nature; half-opened lips represent doubts, strangeness, and a little surprise; fully open lips represent horror; upward lips represent kindness, politeness and joy; downward lips represent pain, sadness and helplessness ; lips pursed, expressing anger, dissatisfaction; lips tightened, expressing anger, confrontation or determination.

A happy expression is easy to capture in daily life. Its characteristics are: the corners of the mouth are pulled back;Unpleasant expression, its characteristics are: the corners of the mouth droop; the cheeks pull down and become slender; In terms of facial expressions, one can see the inner motives of others at a glance. He is a master of "face-to-face" and a master of communication initiative.Chunyu Kun in the Spring and Autumn Period was such a master. King Hui of Liang was so ambitious that he summoned all the famous people in the world.Someone recommended Chunyu Kun to King Hui of Liang many times. Therefore, King Hui of Liang summoned him again and again, and each time he would hold back and talk with him in secret.But Chunyu Kun kept silent the first two times, which made King Hui of Liang very embarrassed.Afterwards, King Liang Hui asked the recommender: "You said that Chunyu Kun has the talents of Guan Zhong and Yan Ying, how can this be true, or I am not worth talking about in his eyes."

The recommender was also puzzled after hearing this, so he questioned Chunyu Kun.Chunyu Kun smiled and replied: "Indeed, I really want to have a heart-to-heart conversation with King Liang Hui. But for the first time, King Liang Hui had a look of driving on his face, thinking about entertainment like running. , so I didn’t say anything. The second time, I saw that he had a look of enjoyment on his face, thinking about entertainment like sensuality, so I didn’t say anything either.” The man told King Hui of Liang what he said, and when King Hui of Liang recalled it, it was exactly as Chunyu Kun said.He admired Chunyu Kun's ability to know people very much.

From this story, we can see how complex and subtle information facial expressions can convey, allowing you to penetrate the other person's psychology. In reality, not everyone can see through facial expressions. This ability can only be obtained through hard study and long-term practice.It is not a trivial skill, but an extremely important ability to see, behave and make friends with people. Discovering and mastering it can help you become a well-rounded and liked person.