Chapter 22 Feel good please "customer" unspoken rules

You met an acquaintance whom you hadn’t seen for a long time on the road, and after greeting you, the acquaintance said to you: “Ah! Long time no see, you must come to our house as a guest when you are free.” As a result, you prepared a gift and waited for a long time, but this acquaintance did not invite you You are a guest at his house.You said angrily: "This man really doesn't mean anything." In fact, the acquaintance's way of speaking is a social tone, meaning that it is not really an invitation.Knowing this, we can all recognize that this is just a formality, so there is no need to really prepare anything.If you mistakenly think that he is really invited and actually pay a visit, you will definitely get into big or small troubles.We must know how to treat guests: if he really invites you, he will agree with you on a specific time and place.

Two classmates went to visit a teacher they had admired for a long time.When they arrived at the teacher's house, the teacher's mother cordially greeted them to eat fruit, and warmly gave each of them an apple.Because it was the first time to come to the door, student A was a little embarrassed, so after repeated refusals, he took the apple and put it on the corner of the table.The enthusiastic teacher's wife looked at him and said nothing, but chatted with classmate B who took the apple and ate it. They are both students, why does the teacher's wife treat them hot and cold?

The host, the section chief, and several colleagues of the host were sitting at the family banquet. The food and drink on the round table was already very rich, but the housewife in a flowered sarong kept serving the dishes, saying bluntly : "There is nothing delicious, please deal with it!" The male host stood up, removed the unfinished dishes in front of the section chief, took the hot dishes and placed them in front of the section chief, warmly and politely served the section chief with food and added wine, but only said perfunctorily to other colleagues. "Please". As a result, other colleagues took a few mouthfuls and left after looking for reasons.

what about this? This involves the unspoken rules of being a guest and hospitality. Eating the host's food is the best affirmation of her hospitality.In fact, situations like this can be seen everywhere, such as visiting a friend’s house, meeting other friends in a coffee shop, they will warmly welcome you to a seat, and then invite you to eat.At this time, it is best not to be embarrassed, and you might as well take it generously. If they are sincere, you accept their enthusiasm, and they will naturally feel your kindness and easy-going. In the second story, in the face of such a "distinctive" hospitality, imagine how the host's colleagues would think?They were very embarrassed, so before the banquet was over, they left "something".Although people's social roles and social status are different, they all need to be respected and save face.If you forget this fact, when you communicate with people, you are respectful to important people and indifferent to small ones, which will naturally hurt the latter's self-esteem.

There are many unspoken rules that need to be paid attention to in hospitality and being a guest. A little carelessness will often bring troubles to our communication and make people break up unhappy.Here are some things to pay attention to, for your reference. If you want to visit others, be sure to make an appointment with the host by phone or letter in advance.After the time is agreed, be on time for the appointment.In case of special circumstances, you must greet the host in advance and re-appoint the visiting time.The appointment of visiting time should try to avoid the meal time of the interviewees.

The appearance should be neat and dignified, and the dress should be simple and generous to show respect for the host; when you come to the host's door, you should gently knock on the door or ring the doorbell.After the host hears the knock on the door or the sound of the electric bell, they can only enter the house after greeting each other, and they cannot enter the house immediately; even if the door is wide open, they should not enter the house directly, but should say at the door: "Is Professor Zhang at home?" "Is there anyone inside?" You can only enter the house after the host greets you.

When knocking on the door, you must grasp the strength and rhythm, and do not knock hard or kick the door with your feet.After knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell, if there is no response in the house, you can knock or ring the bell again, but the time should not be too long. After entering the host's house, you should hand over your hat, coat, gloves, rain gear, etc. to the host's family. If the host's house is carpeted or the floor is paved, you should ask the host to change into slippers. After entering the house, you should greet the elders, acquaintances and other guests who came first, and sit down after the host arranges the seats; the host should stand up to thank you and greet with both hands when serving tea and cigarettes; the host should wait for the elders and other guests to offer candies Take it first and then take it by yourself; the ashtray should be flicked in the ashtray, and the peel and core should not be thrown around; don't rummage about the host's things.

After entering the restaurant, the first thing that should not be forgotten is to say hello, especially to the hostess, and to say some words of praise to the host’s banquet, so as to create a harmonious and warm atmosphere for the host; Sit down rashly; sit at the table and pay attention to body etiquette, listen attentively when the host toasts, stand up when the host toasts in return, even if you don’t know how to drink, you should touch your lips to show respect, and wait for the host to greet you before using your chopsticks to pick up dishes Pay attention to eating etiquette during the meal, talk and laugh during the meal, talk about more pleasant and relaxing topics, try to avoid leaving the table halfway, and if you are really helpless, you should apologize to the host before leaving.

Before leaving, thank the host and hostess for their hospitality.When the host sends out the door, the guest takes a step to turn around and give thanks.When the host sends you to the door to break up, you should take the initiative to shake hands with the host to say goodbye, and say to the host: "Please go back", "Please stay" and other words. Sometimes you have to stay at the home of your relatives and friends for a few days, because your own arrival has caused a lot of trouble for the host, so you should pay more attention to the relevant etiquette: first of all, you must understand the living habits of the host, and try to follow these habits of the host. Clean up by yourself; secondly, when the host accompanies you to go sightseeing and shopping, pay as much as possible by yourself, and try to choose the host's holidays; thirdly, during the short stay, do not enter the host's study or bedroom without the host's permission, and you are not allowed to browse books, periodicals, letters, etc. , the topic should avoid the content that involves the host’s privacy or money; finally, don’t forget to do something for the host’s family during the stay.

The above are the things to pay attention to when you are a guest. When we entertain guests, we should also pay attention to the following: Treating guests at home is generally more casual, and the door should be cleaned in advance to welcome guests, and tea sets, smoking sets, beverages, fruits, sugar, coffee, etc. should be prepared.Guests arrive at the appointed time and should go out to meet them in advance.When guests come to the house, they must be warmly received.But you should also pay attention to some necessary etiquette. When entertaining guests, the host should not dress too casually.If you wear pajamas and pajamas at home, you should change into plain clothes, even if you are a very familiar guest, you should also change into plain clothes.

When entertaining guests, keep the following in mind: First of all, pay attention to the arrangement of seats.The arrangement of seats should be paid attention to, especially for important family banquets.The seating arrangements for Chinese-style banquets, because the main room is facing south, so the north side of the square table (the side facing the door) is the guest seat, and the left side is the upper side and the right side is the lower side, which is the chief and second seats.The two sides are still arranged according to left as upper and right as lower.The host sits behind the door. The custom in our country is to arrange each person according to their own position, so as to facilitate conversation.If the wife is also present, the women are usually arranged together, that is, the guest of honor sits on the upper right of the host, and his wife sits on the upper right of the hostess. Second, pay attention to the order in which the dishes are served.Generally, more solemn family banquets should pay attention to the order of serving dishes, that is, when the guests sip and chat, put cold dishes to accompany the wine first, and then serve stir-fried dishes, big vegetables, beets, dim sum and soup. Again, pay attention to the etiquette of serving dishes.When the dish is served, the host should briefly introduce the flavor or characteristics of the dish. If the guest is particularly interested in a certain dish, the host can also briefly introduce the cooking method of the dish.When each dish is served, if there is a distinction between the senior and younger guests at the table, the host should ask the main guest or the elder to taste it first.When the guests give in to each other and refuse to eat chopsticks, the host can stand up and share the dishes with serving chopsticks and spoons.Be careful not to use your own chopsticks to divide or pick up dishes under any circumstances.When dividing dishes, on the one hand, pay attention to the order of distribution, that is, distribute them to the elders present first, and then distribute them in order according to the order of seating; I don't like to eat and feel embarrassed.Some dishes may have to use a knife and fork, or ask the guests present to help, do not tear it hard, it is very unsightly.Don't force the guests or forcefully push the dishes into the guests' bowls without considering the tastes and preferences of the guests. When the guests express their gratitude to a certain dish, they should be forgiven.In fact, it is impolite to be overly enthusiastic during a meal. When guests say goodbye, they should generally stay with each other politely.If the guest wants to leave, he should wait for the guest to get up, and then get up to see him off. The host should not stand up as soon as the guest says he wants to leave.Seeing off guests should generally be delivered to the door.Some guests often bring gifts, for this, we should respond when seeing off guests, such as expressing gratitude, or asking guests not to bring gifts when they visit in the future, or thanking some gifts accordingly, we must not accept it as if we deserved it If nothing happened, nothing said.