Chapter 21 Hidden rules in "rituals"

There is a saying in China: Courtesy is reciprocal.Giving gifts is one of the most common forms of social activities in the world. There is a saying in China: "Gifts are reciprocated." Giving gifts is one of the most common forms of social activities for people on earth, and it is a material expression of expressing one's heart to the other party.In life and work, in order to express congratulations, thanks or sympathy to each other, it is often necessary to give gifts to enhance friendship and cooperation.But many people have headaches and troubles for gift giving.Because gift giving is not as simple as giving gifts to others.The process of gift-giving is not only the offering of gifts, but also the expression of one's own good communication etiquette and certain intentions.There are many obvious etiquettes and hidden "doorways" in gift giving. If you accidentally miss the etiquette, it may cause the result of "a good gift is not rewarded".

Gifts should be given according to the person.Sending health care products to young women will make the other party feel very embarrassed: I feel that I am old and have to rely on health care products?If it is given to a middle-aged woman, the other party will be very grateful.Gift-giving should be based on the age, identity, gender, hobbies, nature of work, etc. of the other party and choose different gifts. Pay attention to giving gifts to patients. Some people like to give patients tonics or health care products. In fact, this is very inappropriate, because patients are in the treatment period and need to take medicine or injections on time every day, so it is not suitable to take tonics.Flowers or small bonsai are suitable gifts for sick people.However, sending flowers is very particular, and some flowers are not suitable for giving to patients.Generally speaking, the following flowers are good choices: roses, carnations, baby's breath, lilies, birds of paradise, etc.

When giving wedding gifts, as a friend attending the wedding banquet, you should buy meaningful gifts in advance, such as sending 99 roses to represent "everyday", or sending commemorative gold greeting cards and wedding cakes to express blessings to the bride and groom. Celebrate someone else's birthday, because it's different for different people.When celebrating the birthday of the elders, the "ceremony" is slightly more.For friends of the same generation on their birthdays, there is no need to stick to the formality of giving gifts.To celebrate the birthday of elders, in addition to paying attention to clothes, you must also bring an item that contains the meaning of health and longevity, such as an exquisitely designed cake, or a commemorative golden greeting card.

Ordinary gifts can be given to the other party at any time, but some gifts will have better effects if you choose the right time to give them.For example, it is better to send the annual calendar at the beginning of December of the previous year. If you wait until the middle and late December when there are piles of calendars, you will not be able to stand out.Only when others have not started to deliver, you have seized the opportunity!You have to remember that the first calendar that the other party receives is the deepest impression. What is the best time to give gifts at home?Generally speaking, door-to-door gifts must be agreed in advance.It is best to be between 10 and 11 in the morning, and around 4 in the afternoon.Everyone has the habit of sleeping late during holidays, and arriving before 10 am seems a bit early.After giving gifts in the morning, try not to stay after 11 o'clock, and it is best not to have lunch at other people's homes.From 2pm to 3pm, some people have the habit of taking a lunch break, so it is more appropriate to give gifts around 4pm.

Usually, the timing of gift giving should be chosen as follows: Congratulations: When the other party has a happy event such as marriage, childbirth, or birthday. Congratulations: the other party's promotion, housewarming, going abroad, etc. Thank you: After receiving help from others, you can give it with an appropriate gift at the right time. Condolences: When the other party encounters natural disasters and man-made disasters and is in adversity. Commemoration: the reunion of friends after a long absence, the anniversary of lovers' acquaintance, wedding anniversary and other commemorative days.

Festivals: On traditional festivals such as the Spring Festival, Chinese people are used to giving some gifts when they visit relatives and friends; they should also express it on Mother’s Day, Teacher’s Day and other festivals. Pay attention to attitude, actions and language expressions when giving gifts.Peaceful, friendly, graceful actions accompanied by courteous language expressions are what the recipient is willing to accept.The practice of quietly placing gifts under the table or in a corner of the room like a thief will not only fail to achieve the purpose of gifting, but may even be counterproductive.

In the traditional habit of our country, when giving gifts, I always say too modestly: "Small gift! Small gift!" "It's just a little bit" or "I'm sorry..." This kind of practice is best avoided.Of course, it's not appropriate to say "this is a very precious thing" in an almost proud tone when giving it. When presenting the gift, one should emphasize the goodwill and brotherhood one has for the recipient rather than the actual value of the gift; It will make the other party feel like accepting bribes. Gifts should be beautifully packaged. Don’t put a bunch of unpackaged gifts together and just pack them in a handbag and send them to others. No matter how many gifts there are, the other party will not be happy, because it is disrespectful to the other party. the behavior of.When giving gifts, many words are expressed in "gifts", so we must pay attention to the packaging of gifts.

Gifts should pay attention to visual experience. Good packaging can make the gift look more grand and express respect for others.Moreover, packaging can increase the social and cultural connotation of the gift, weaken the value concept of the gift itself, and make the gift even better.Westerners pay special attention to this point.In fact, the significance of a gift does not lie in its own practical value, but in the intangible value conveyed by it as a carrier.Therefore, gift givers should also pay attention to the emotions and intentions reflected in the packaging. However, it should be noted that the packaging should match the gift itself and not overdo it.Because the person receiving the gift often judges the value of the gift through the packaging, if the gap between the gift itself and the expectation is found to be too large, it will have the opposite effect to the purpose of the gift.Therefore, in order for the packaging to play a "synthetic" role, it is necessary to pack it appropriately.

The above is the etiquette of gift giving, let's talk about the etiquette of receiving gifts. The etiquette of giving and receiving gifts.When you receive a gift, you should accept it with both hands and express your gratitude immediately.After receiving the gift, the Chinese generally wait for the guest to leave before opening it; foreigners are used to opening the package in front of the guest and saying a few words of praise for the gift.If you know that the gift is more expensive, it is best to unpack it in person.If the gift you receive is not satisfactory, you should say a few words of gratitude and praise to the other party just like accepting the gift you like.

After accepting a gift, it is polite to find a way to return it.The Chinese advocate "reciprocity", and so do foreigners.Although you can't return the gift immediately when you accept the gift, you have to prepare a gift to give back to the other party in the future.