Chapter 18 Unspoken rules are everywhere

"Unspoken rules" are relative to "obvious rules" and "meta rules", and the words come from Mr. Wu Si's book.In this book, Mr. Wu Si provides a new perspective and new tools to interpret Chinese society.Since the publication of this book, "hidden rules" have become an idiom, used to refer to those invisible, unspecified, conventional, but widely recognized, actually effective, people must "follow" of a rule. In communication, "hidden rules" are also "rules" that must be known and followed.why would you say so?Let's take a few examples.

First of all, all walks of life have their own unspoken rules.For example, buyers and sellers value equal information.As a buyer, if you know the unspoken rules of industry transactions, then when negotiating with the seller, you will not give the seller the feeling of "layman", so the seller will naturally not play tricks on you.Only in this way can you guarantee your own interests in the transaction.If the seller knows that you are not good at it, it is likely to cheat you.In some trading places, you bargain with people and ask people with your mouth: "How much?" At this time, you are wrong.Let others see that you are a layman.Some masters use a piece of cloth to cover the hands of buyers and sellers, and then use "sign language" to negotiate with each other.If you do not understand this unspoken rule, you will bring a great opportunity to the seller to trap you because of a question.From this common bargaining event, we can get a glimpse of the unspoken rules of the industry.You deal with people from different industries, how can you deal with people fairly if you don’t understand the “rules”?

Next, let's talk about another unspoken rule - "worship the mountain".If you want to develop a business in a certain place, in addition to obtaining licenses such as industry and commerce, health and other aspects according to relevant regulations, you also have to follow the unspoken rules to control the local guilds and certain local organizations that are either overtly or secretly powerful. Organizations, "greeting" to the leaders of various hilltops such as the competent departments.Only in this way can you ensure the smooth development of your career.Otherwise, if you don't treat well the mountain, it is likely to cause trouble for you.

The relationship that people often say is actually one of the unspoken rules.In a commercial society, the essential core of people's communication is the issue of interests, and there will be relevant people controlling all links related to interests. Therefore, if you want to make good use of your own profits, you must "pull the relationship" .This is an essential skill in interpersonal communication, and it is also a well-known "rule".It's hard to imagine how much a person who doesn't even understand the rules of "connection" can achieve in a highly competitive society.

Another example is the issue of sending "red envelopes" to the competent departments above and the employees below during the holidays.Some bosses only know that they should pay attention to unspoken rules, but think that it is not worthwhile to give red envelopes to employees, so they do not give red envelopes to employees.If you don't send it, someone will.When an employee sees that the bosses of other companies send red envelopes to employees, but he does not get the red envelopes from his own boss, he will inevitably feel unbalanced.If this kind of mentality is not comforted and resolved, he will not work hard, or he will simply resign and work for the boss who gave the red envelope.Can your business survive without the support of your employees?

The above are the unspoken rules that should be paid attention to when developing a career.Let's talk about the unspoken rules in the work.If you work in an agency, you must pay attention to your position in the bureaucracy, and don't easily break the unspoken rules.Even something as small as taking an elevator can reveal whether you have accidentally touched the red line of "hidden rules".Take the elevator with the leader, and you ask the leader to open and close the elevator for you. When you want to get out of the elevator, you don't let the leader go first, but you go first, which is undoubtedly a manifestation of "no leader".Your approach is undoubtedly the same as the performance of "no vision" as the jingle said, "The leader picks up the food and you turn the table".

Unspoken rules in life are everywhere.There are unspoken rules for weddings, funerals, weddings, welcoming and sending off.For example, the amount of money you give represents the closeness of your relationship with the other party, and so on.You want to give A and B a follower, you are as close to A as you are to B, you give A a follower 200 yuan, but give B 300 yuan, and as a result A will feel that you are not as good as you are to him Get close to B.Here, the unspoken rules are at work.There is no law that stipulates what conditions and how many you must follow.But invisibly, this condition exists, and it is the "hidden rules" of various etiquette and reciprocity.

From the above we can see that unspoken rules are ubiquitous in life, work and career.In fact, for a caring person, these unspoken rules are not difficult to find or understand. The difficulty lies in the operation. It must not be obvious and not touch the "red line" of "obvious rules" such as relevant laws and regulations. ", do not break through the moral bottom line. Being able to do a job with ease in the unspoken rules and impress the other party to achieve the purpose of communication is a very thoughtful thing. It requires a bright mind, flexible thinking, and focus on practical results.