Chapter 12 Well-packaged, trustworthy

People can't stand without faith. In communication, how to create a "reliable" image is a very basic social packaging skill. Dress neatly and decently, make up generously, show a focused and solemn expression, and communicate with each other's eyes in a timely manner.This is a basic trustworthy image.Just imagine, if you go to an interview in denim; you arrive at your workplace in a crumpled shirt; you appear in the workplace in a fancy dress, and your hair color is too exaggerated, can this image build up others' trust in you? That is to say, it must be done, and if it is done, it must be done, and a result must be produced.This sounds simple and reasonable, but most people just can't do it.If a person fulfills all the promises he has made, he will definitely become an outstanding person.

We have all encountered misfortunes caused by others' broken promises, and we have also grieved for such "broken promises".Losing your word is a terrible image to look at, and you must avoid it like the plague. If you want to establish a "sense of trust", you must first act according to the basic principle of "trust". What is said must be fulfilled.The agreement signed must be fulfilled. Here we pay special attention to two seemingly ordinary "little things": One is to be punctual.It's a well-known fact that you should be punctual when dating someone.But if the date is invited by ourselves, then we must arrive ten minutes earlier than the agreed time to show our sincerity.

Not being late is a kind of trustworthy behavior, so it can give people the impression of honesty, which in turn creates a sense of trust in you.But the most important thing is not to be punctual, but to keep the other party from waiting.Therefore, even if we arrive on time, it is meaningless if the other party has arrived before us.Therefore, we should arrive earlier than the scheduled time in order to wait for each other's arrival. In addition, we sometimes attend some important gatherings, which make us feel very nervous.At this time, if we can arrive at the appointment place earlier and let ourselves adapt to the environment first, it can relieve our tension to some extent.

If we can't arrive in time, although we can apologize to others to make up for it, it will not give others a sincere impression of "you value this meeting". Second, no matter how little money you owe, you must repay it on schedule.With the progress of the times, the value of ten or twenty yuan is getting lower and lower, so many people think that there is no need to repay a small amount of money.In fact, this is not desirable.Paying back money is a small matter, but the truth of life reflected in it is big.The problem of integrity is not the size of the money, but whether you can complete the credit you want to keep within the agreed period.Therefore, even if we borrow a dollar from someone, we must remember to pay it back, which can build others' trust in us.

Here, we've listed just two of the most common, yet unusually significant, things associated with covenant keeping.In fact, the issue of compliance involves not only two aspects of time and money.The other small agreements we make with others must also be fulfilled according to the agreement.Such talents will make people trust, and no matter what they do, it will be smoother. When we make mistakes, we often dare not directly admit the mistakes and take responsibility. Instead, we find a lot of reasons and try to excuse ourselves. In fact, the best way we can deal with the side effects of making a mistake is to simply admit it.This is much better than finding some evasive excuses to explain the effect to people.

Because evasive words often give people the impression of evading responsibility, and make people feel that "he has no sincerity to admit his mistakes at all".On the contrary, if you admit your mistake directly, you can increase your credibility and let the other party have the idea of ​​"maybe give him another chance". When a company held a meeting, several documents were missing from the materials sent to each participant.Although these few documents did not have a serious impact on the meeting, the young female staff who was in charge of printing the documents in advance was called in by her boss to criticize severely.

After the female employee apologized solemnly, she asked her supervisor to let her reprint it and reissue the complete information to the participants.Hearing her request, her boss' impression of her "irresponsibility" suddenly changed.Because she not only admits her mistakes with an apology, but also redeems her mistakes with actions, which shows her strong sense of responsibility.Since then, the boss has left a deep impression on the female employee. For employees, making up for their mistakes in time can win the trust of their superiors, and for leaders, admitting their mistakes in time and being responsible for their mistakes is also a powerful content to win the trust of employees.

Leaders are responsible for the imperfect side of their character, for who they are.Only in this way can we establish a sincere image in the minds of employees, and sincerity is the basis for winning trust.Of course, on the basis of responsibility, if the leader can improve the shortcomings, it will make the employees trust themselves to a higher level. No one is perfect.But often some people deliberately cover up their shortcomings in order to make themselves appear "perfect".In fact, if you don't deliberately cover up, it may open up your interpersonal circle for you. There was a girl named Kath Sandal who wanted to be a singer, but she was not good-looking: she had a big mouth with protruding teeth.Every time she sings in public, she always tries to pull her upper lip down to cover her teeth.She tried so hard to appear "pretty" that she made a fool of herself.

A guest at the nightclub who heard Sandal sing thought she was talented.He said bluntly to Sandal: "Let me tell you, I have been watching your performance, and I know what you are trying to cover up. You think your teeth are ugly, don't you?" Embarrassed, but the guest continued: "Does it mean that a person is extremely sinful just because he has buck teeth? Don't try to cover it up, open your mouth, if the audience thinks you don't care, they will like you. Besides , Those teeth you want to cover up may bring you good luck.” Kath Sandal was greatly encouraged, and she accepted the guest’s advice to stop paying attention to her teeth .From then on, she only wanted her audience, and she opened her mouth wide, singing with enthusiasm and joy.Eventually, she became a leading singer in both film and radio.Today's comedians take pride in following her example.

If a person deliberately conceals the shortcomings of "everyone knows", he will make himself "packed" too much.And once he accepts his shortcomings frankly, does not deliberately cover up, but fully demonstrates his strengths, he will open up a new world for himself. The same is true of being a human being.Expressing your shortcomings clearly will often gain the trust of others.But this is not to say that you should tell all your shortcomings in detail. Doing so will not only fail to achieve the above-mentioned effects, but will have the opposite effect of destroying your own image.

So, what should be done to achieve the best results?We can disclose our shortcomings, but not too many, at most one or two insignificant shortcomings will do.People with a few minor shortcomings often give people the feeling that "although there are a few shortcomings, they are generally good".Such people are often more likely to gain the trust of others. Once, a professor at the University of California in the United States presented the results of his mouse experiment in class.At this time, a student suddenly raised his hand to ask a question, put forward his opinion, and asked the professor what would be the result of the experiment if he used another method to do it.The audience at the meeting looked at the professor, waiting to see how he would answer this experiment that he could never have done.As a result, the professor didn't rush, and said bluntly: "I haven't done this experiment, I don't know." If the same situation happened to a certain professor in the East, the situation might be completely different.He must have racked his brains to say something like "I think it will turn out to be..." or something. Admitting that we "don't know" will not make us appear ignorant in the hearts of others. On the contrary, it can increase other people's trust in us and leave a very honest impression on people. And dare to say "don't know", this kind of courage will also admired by others. For managers, honesty is also very important.On key issues involving the interests of employees, or ambiguity on the handling of task consequences, employees have no idea, which not only dampens the enthusiasm of employees, but also discredits managers themselves.Therefore, as a manager, you must learn to communicate with your employees with an open mind and clearly inform them of issues related to their interests.Of course, the premise is that confidential matters are kept confidential. In order to gain the trust of the other party, some people increase their speaking speed several times than usual, and often speak a lot in one breath.Such an approach is often counterproductive.Let's take a salesman as an example to illustrate this problem.Not all good salesmen are eloquent.While this does not mean that articulate people are unsuitable as salesmen, articulateness is not a requirement for a salesman.In fact, being too eloquent often leads to suspicion—is it really that good?Conversely speaking, if you are a little dull, it will give the other party the impression of being "honest", and you will have the idea of ​​listening and watching before you talk. Of course, in order to encourage customers to have the desire to buy, it is necessary to use various promotional techniques to achieve it.But the most important thing is to gain the trust of the other party first. This can be applied not only in sales, but in any situation where persuasion is required.Especially when trying to impress a person's heart, speaking too fast often only leads to the opposite result.Therefore, we should use some techniques to win the trust of the other party.One of the simplest and most effective ways is to speak slowly.This is especially the case when meeting someone for the first time, so as not to leave the other person with an impression of being impetuous and unreliable.The following example may give you more inspiration. A homeowner hired a carpenter for an estimate to remodel the house.As a result, the carpenter did not answer immediately, but after looking at the house, he slowly said to the landlord: "It's a pity to tear down such a good thing! If it were me, I would have left it intact." When he said this, the homeowner immediately had a sense of trust in him.Although I heard that his craftsmanship is very good, but because it is the first time I have asked him to work, I am not sure whether he is trustworthy.But the carpenter's honest words wiped away the homeowner's doubts about him. Why?Because the carpenter isn't as articulate as your homeowner might expect, saying things like "how hard this job is, and that's why it's expensive."We usually infer what the other person will say by his occupation or social status.Therefore, when the other party says something exactly contrary to our expectations, we often trust him involuntarily because we are surprised by his honesty. Just imagine, how would we feel if we heard the other party say all the numbers below the decimal point clearly?Do you think the other party's memory is amazing?Usually some people are honored as "Superman" because they are willing to work hard and remember the numbers after the decimal point accurately. In fact, telling the numbers accurately can often give the listeners a sense of trust.For example, when a grocery store owner went to the bank to apply for a loan, he asked the bank to lend him 991,000 yuan.The manager of the bank felt very strange, so he asked him why he didn't just borrow 1 million yuan.The boss firmly stated that after careful calculation of the amount of his loan, he really only needed to borrow 991,000 yuan, so he only needed to borrow 991,000 yuan.When the bank manager heard that he was very reliable, he immediately approved his loan. It can be seen that in similar communication, it is very necessary to clarify the single digit of the number.