Chapter 10 The first time to "install" well

"Primary cause" can also be said to be the first impression, which generally refers to the intuitive observation and attribution judgment of people when they first communicate with each other.The primacy effect is also called the first effect, priority effect or first impression effect.It means that when people come into contact with something or someone for the first time, they will be deeply impressed. In the process of social cognition, the individual will generate the subsequent cognition of the object through the first input information of the "first impression". influence.In interpersonal communication, the primacy effect plays a decisive role in the formation of people's communication impressions.

When we meet for the first time, the other person's expression, posture, appearance, clothing, conversation, etiquette, etc. form our first impression of the other party.In real life, the first impression formed under the primacy effect often affects our future views on others.Because once the first impression is formed, it is not easy to change.The first impression is the basis of long-term communication and the starting point of winning people's trust. Psychological research has found that when you meet someone for the first time, you can make a first impression within 45 seconds.This initial impression will have a strong impact on the social perception of others, and it will form and occupy a dominant position in the mind of the other party.Perhaps it is precisely because of this that Jeffrey the socialite said in "Being a Man": "When I meet a stranger for the first time, I spend half a day thinking about how to make a good first impression." In our interpersonal communication, You should also learn from Jeffrey's spirit and pay attention to leaving a good first impression on others.

So, how do we get each other's favor when we meet for the first time? When you see an adult wearing a pair of shorts on a grand occasion, don't you think he is an eyesore?Don't you think it's hilarious when you see someone with their trousers rolled up to reveal their ankles?So, please be mindful of your attire.This does not mean that you have to wear the most popular and fashionable clothes, but you must dress neatly and cleanly, in line with the social occasion and your identity.As for whether the clothes are new or old, whether the fabrics are good or bad, these are not the key to the problem.

Maybe your looks are average. Although your looks can't be changed, you can make a good first impression by improving your appearance.You can keep your face clean, your clothes tidy, and your outfits in harmony. Many large companies in Japan have very strict requirements on clothing for their employees.Before going to work, employees should at least pay attention to the following aspects: Are the shoes wiped clean? Is the pant leg unthreaded? Are the shirts buttoned properly? Is the beard clean-shaven? Is the hair neatly combed? Are the wrinkles in the clothes smoothed out? Not only in Japan, but in other countries as well.Employees of an insurance company in Singapore reported to the company that when they marketed to farmers, well-dressed employees outperformed poorly-dressed employees.It can be seen that people are more likely to trust neatly dressed people.

Don't laugh at the social ethos of "judging people by their appearance".When we communicate, we should pay attention to the reality and push ourselves to others, otherwise, we will suffer some unnecessary failures. We should decide different dresses according to the requirements of different occasions. Generally speaking, wearing uniforms gives people a serious and young impression; wearing formal clothes gives people a decent impression; wearing casual clothes gives people a relaxed and happy impression; Wearing work clothes gives a serious and professional impression.We have to choose different dresses on different occasions to leave a good impression on people.

Exercising and improving speech skills are skills that must be mastered in social interaction.Here you need to pay attention to the following aspects: One is to pay attention to the vocal language: talk about private life when you meet for the first time, only talk about yourself, tell stories, criticize others, be too lively or joking, talk about yourself without giving the other party a chance to speak.Thinking you're always right or being supercilious, etc., can give a very bad impression. Second, we should pay more attention to the negative effects of non-voiced language and gesture language.For example, in terms of facial expressions, the famous writer Romain Rolland once said: "Facial expressions are a language that has been successfully cultivated for centuries, and it is a language that is thousands of times more complicated than that spoken in the mouth." You must control your facial expressions when talking, so as not to give the other party a bad impression and be misunderstood by the other party.Also, pay attention to your movements.Perhaps an inadvertent small action, such as tapping the tip of your nose with your hand out of habit, will be considered by the other party as being contemptuous of him.Therefore, when you are communicating, you must pay attention to the information prompted by facial expressions, body movements, etc.

In addition, written language is also the language we often use to communicate.In the era of "language chat", the wording on an email or the punctuation marks in a text message may "sell" your "first impression".