Chapter 53 Birth: Introducing The Raider

When announcing the arrival of a newborn, it should not be too grand and exaggerated for the original child.It is enough to say: "We have a new baby in our family." No matter what the child's first reaction is, we need to know that there are still many questions in their heads that have not been asked, and there are many unanswered questions in their hearts. Talk about worrying.Fortunately, we, as parents, have great opportunities to help our children through crises.The fact that a newborn is a threat to the safety of the original child cannot be changed.For a first-born child, it is also a threat to his uniqueness.This is especially painful for first-born children, because in his experience, there is no sharing of parents.As the only apple in the eyes of his parents, it is impossible for him to welcome the arrival of the new baby happily, because the arrival of the new baby means the end of his happy life in Eden.

But it is up to our intelligence and our skill whether, through the stress and strain of this crisis, the character of the child is thus enhanced or distorted. The following incident is a good example of how introducing an incoming sibling can be helpful for the original child. When five-year-old Virginia found out her mom was pregnant, she reacted with such joy that she drew a picture describing life with a younger brother, sunshine, roses, and more.Instead of encouraging this one-sided view of life, her mother told her daughter, "Sometimes he's playful, but sometimes he's troublesome, and sometimes he cries, making us all sad." Nasty; sometimes he wets the bed, or gets his diapers dirty. I have to wash him, feed him, and take care of him. You may feel left out, you may feel jealous, you may even Say to yourself, 'she doesn't love me anymore, she loves baby.' When you think like that, do come and tell me, I will give you special love, so you don't worry too much, you will know that I love you .”

Parents who are wary of using this method, fearing that they may be putting "dangerous" ideas into their children's minds, can rest assured that these ideas are not new to their children.Our words demonstrate understanding of a child's emotions, it removes guilt and brings intimacy and communication.With newborns, children are bound to feel angry and disgusted, and it's best to let them express distress freely and openly rather than secretly moping about it.