Chapter 52 Chapter 7 Envy: An Unfortunate Tradition

Compared with parents, children do not suspect the existence of jealousy in the family, they already know the meaning and effect of jealousy.No matter how well prepared they are, the birth of a new baby can still make them feel jealous and hurt.There's no reason a leading diva should be graciously ready to share the glory of the spotlight with a rising star.Jealousy, jealousy, and rivalry inevitably arise, and it is unfortunate, ignorant, not to anticipate them, or to be taken aback by their presence. The birth of a second baby is the most significant crisis for a small child who suddenly changes the trajectory of his life and needs someone to help him orient himself and navigate.To help them, not just emotionally, we need to understand children's true emotions.

When announcing the birth of a new baby, it's best to avoid lengthy explanations and false expectations, such as: "We love you so much, you're so wonderful, so Mom and Dad have decided to have another baby just like you, and you'll love the new baby." Baby's, it's your baby too, you'll be proud of it, you'll always have someone to play with." This explanation sounds neither honest nor convincing, and it is more logical for the child to draw the conclusion: "If they really loved me, they wouldn't want another child, I'm not good enough , so I want to trade me for someone newer."

If one day, my husband comes home and announces, "Honey, I love you so much, you are so wonderful, so I decided to bring another woman to live with us, she will help you with the housework, while I work, You won't be so alone, after all, I love two women enough." What would a wife think if the husband said that?I don't think she would be ecstatic about the arrangement, would wonder why she wasn't enough, why would he think she longed to share her husband with another woman? Sharing a parent or sharing a lover can be very painful.In the child's experience, sharing means getting less for oneself, like sharing an apple or chewing gum.The prospect of sharing parents is unsettling enough, but our expectation that children will be happy for a newborn is illogical.As the pregnancy begins, the child's suspicions become more plausible.The child notices that even before the baby arrives, it already occupies the parent's mind and body.Mom spends less and less time with herself, she may be sick and lying in bed, or tired and resting.Anxious toddler can no longer even sit on mother's lap because it is taken over by a hidden, yet-to-be-revealed intruder.Fathers are spending more time with their mothers and less time playing or engaging in other activities with their children.