Chapter 45 Chapter Three: How to Master Negotiations

A few years ago, the telephone company in New York was in trouble.A demanding customer is dissatisfied with the service of a telephone company operator and throws a fit when the phone company charges him for his phone bill.He felt that these fees were a rip-off for the service he had received, so he angrily declared that he would unplug the telephone connection and lodge a complaint with the relevant parties. To resolve this complaint, the phone company sent one of its most capable "mediators" to meet with the troublemaker.After the two parties met, the furious user vented his anger domineeringly to the moderator, while the moderator listened quietly, occasionally saying, "Yes," sympathizing with the user's displeasure.

The mediator recalled afterwards: "He talked endlessly, and I listened attentively for 3 hours. I went to see him 4 times, and expressed sympathy for his views every time. In the fourth meeting At that time, this user said that he was going to set up a "Telephone User Rights Protection Association". I immediately agreed and said that I would definitely become a member of this association. The way and attitude to talk with him, so his attitude became friendly. The first three times we met, I didn't even mention the reason why I met him, but in the fourth meeting, we have turned enemies into friends and things went smoothly It was resolved. The user paid all the fees that should have been paid, and also voluntarily withdrew the complaint to the relevant parties.”

The famous American speaker Dale Carnegie once said: "Treat each other as an important person and treat each other with sincerity. Even enemies will become friends." In the example of our negotiation above, the user who made trouble out of nothing thought he was playing a role of upholding justice and safeguarding the interests of the public in the protest against the telephone company.In fact, all he needed was a sense of someone important.When the mediator listened patiently to his complaints, he got the feeling he needed, and after satisfying his desire for power and vanity, those out-of-the-box complaints naturally disappeared.The phone-company mediators have successfully employed what psychology calls "suggestive compliments," which are just the prescription for flattery.

Anyone, when he receives respect and trust from others, he will feel happy from the bottom of his heart, even though he knows that it is flattering, but it sounds comfortable.People with stronger self-esteem are more likely to have this tendency.At the negotiating table, people with strong self-esteem are often more difficult to deal with. If you want him to accept a complicated and unacceptable condition, the best way is to touch his self-esteem.Generally speaking, people with strong self-esteem are very confident, and no matter what the occasion, they will think that they are different, and they don't want to be confused with ordinary people.Therefore, when you impress him, you should pay attention to unconsciously making him realize the reason of "why not bother others, but bother him".For example, "It is really up to you to completely solve problems like this."Such a simple sentence can touch the opponent's heart and solve many problems.

This "suggestive compliment" once worked its magic in the hands of a corporate HR executive.He has handled many cases of downgrading the company's personnel, and each time it went very smoothly without arousing any resentment from others.Originally, the company's subsidiaries were distributed in remote villages, and few people would go there unless there were special circumstances. But what persuasion method did the personnel director use to make those people happily go to the countryside? First, he always criticizes the working conditions of the country branch to nothing, and then threatens that a very capable person will be needed to put that branch in order.He said: "If this continues, the branch will not be able to survive sooner or later, so we must try to solve it as soon as possible, but this matter is not for everyone, it must be a person with considerable ability. .In case of improper selection, it will have a considerable impact on the branch."

In his words, he intentionally or unintentionally emphasized that "it is none other than you".Therefore, at the beginning of the appointment, those who are currently assigned often feel "exiled", but after listening to his words, a sense of pride arises spontaneously, and they really did a good job after being assigned. It is said that this practice of the personnel director has been tried and tested and has never caused any trouble. Sincere devotion and sincerity are the key elements of any negotiation. Unless the negotiating parties can concentrate on doing their best, there will be no negotiation at all.Candor is not naive, it can shorten the distance between people very well.

In negotiating for business expansion or professional promotion, there is a skill that must be mastered, that is, to judge whether the opponent is sincere.It is not easy to master this skill well, because there is no shortcut to judge whether the opponent is sincere, and it can only be mastered through continuous accumulation of experience.To make it even harder, many people may mislead you on purpose.Even more unfortunately, many people talk but don't practice.For example, someone wants a real estate agent to show them a house, but has no intention of buying or money to buy it.Similarly, some people have no real power to make decisions about personnel appointments in the company, but they like to recruit employees and interview them.Most of them are company employees who like to give many suggestions to the company's suppliers, but actually have no decision-making power, or have no influence on things at all.Obviously, negotiating with these people must lead to nothing, because they are not bound by any promises at all, just empty words.

Even people with real power may not be sincere about the issues you want to discuss.You may have an idea to create a new market for your company, but you cannot negotiate a favorable position for yourself to put your idea into practice because the head of production is closed or resistant to your ideas , although he has to say some things, he won't really consider your suggestion.Many times those in power do not have the time and thoughtfulness to deal with these issues.Instead of telling the salesperson outright that they're not interested or that their contract has been signed, they resort to non-resistance tactics and the constant acceptance of a free lunch, constantly saying they haven't made a final decision yet.

Another form of insincerity is known as "kickering".In companies, there is a fairly natural phenomenon in which many people avoid making decisions, or even who makes them.Sometimes you have to "dug out" who is authorized to sit down with you before negotiations can begin.When negotiating with someone, if you find that that person is not the right person, or lacks interest and authority to help you, it is best to expand your discussion by picking someone else.For example, you could say something like: "Director Wang, I know that my current proposal cannot be decided by one person, and I understand that you may be trying to advise your colleagues to deal with this matter. But since this is an unusual suggestion, I am very happy Wondering if I could be there when you formally discuss this?" Of course, the danger with this approach is that the person you're talking to isn't eager to get your message across, but sometimes it works quite well.However, generally speaking, it takes a long journey to find someone with real sincerity.

In a negotiation, the most frustrating thing is the insincere, broken promises people, these people may be around you, they will waste your time and make you deeply tired and frustrated all day long, until one day you completely see After clearing their faces, they began to look for more worthy people to replace them.It's not easy and there's no easy way to spot a liar, but if you're careful, there are signs.Generally speaking, the emptiest people are the ones who talk the most.Be on the lookout for those who promise too little, who brag loudly, and watch out for signs of broken promises and unfulfilled promises.

The so-called survival thinking refers to staying calm in a dangerous situation, seizing opportunities, taking advantage of favorable conditions and giving full play to superb coping skills to get out of danger and turn danger into safety.Survival thinking is dialectical thinking in essence. To look at unfavorable factors dialectically in a difficult situation, to find advantages from disadvantages, and to turn bad things into good things is an important way to survive thinking. Negotiators sometimes encounter difficult or embarrassing situations during negotiations. At this time, they adopt a roundabout way of thinking to survive and use their brains, which will often sweep away the embarrassing atmosphere and achieve twice the result with half the effort. A manager of the Coca-Cola Company in the United States was in Beijing to discuss the establishment of a joint venture factory. He was staying at the Fragrant Hills Hotel in Beijing when he happened to meet a young Chinese calligrapher writing banners for foreign guests in the living room.Seeing this, the manager asked the young calligrapher to write an advertisement for him, which read: Confucius said: "Coca-Cola is great!" The young calligrapher felt very embarrassed and didn't know what to do, so he had to ask his teacher for help. .The teacher asked him to write it correctly, but after finishing writing, the teacher added another line: "The dream of an American friend." At this time, all the bystanders appreciated the teacher's wonderful writing, and the American manager was also very satisfied. The young calligrapher above was really in an embarrassing situation at that time. He couldn't write well, and he couldn't write well. It seemed that "death" was inevitable.However, his teacher used the thinking of seeking survival, detoured from the side, and filled in the blanks, which not only met the requirements of American friends, but also avoided the desecration of the traditional culture of the motherland. Playing hard to get is a strategy in which one party in a negotiation pretends to be indifferent and covers up his eagerness even though he wants to make a deal. "Vertical" is not a "negative" vertical, but an "active" and orderly vertical.By "manipulating" arousing the other party's eager desire to make a deal and lowering its bargaining chip to achieve the purpose of "capturing". Playing hard to get is the practice of deliberately adopting various measures to make the opponent feel indifferent to the negotiation that is determined to win, so as to suppress the opponent's appetite for asking prices and ensure that one's own side can make a deal under the expected conditions. There is a man who wants to own a business of his own.He found a vendor willing to sell the property and retire.The two arranged a meeting to discuss the sale.The buyer is very kind and friendly, he is very experienced in business, and the seller feels very comfortable negotiating with him.The buyer seemed to agree with the asking price and never raised any objections.They met several times, and each time the buyer paid for the lunch or dinner, and the seller felt very good.Knowing that the buyer was familiar with the industry, he pointed out to the buyer that his company was well positioned and that his customers were reliable and loyal, but before an agreement was reached, the buyer completely sabotaged what the negotiations had established. He agrees with the seller's asking price, but he does not agree to pay any cash at the signing of the deed. He will pay the higher amount monthly by promissory note.In fact, in doing so, he pays the seller with the money he makes from the business.These conditions greatly dissatisfied the seller, but the buyer's argument was quite convincing.What good would paying cash do him?Moreover, paying cash up front will inevitably bring about a reduction in the selling price, leading to unproductive and intense haggling.There is no doubt that he is willing to accept this deal and go all out to develop this business, but without paying cash up front. The seller was discouraged, anticipating a quick and easy deal, mentally he was retired and on vacation in the South Coast.He's disappointed because he knows he can't live off a no-cash contract.He called the buyer and told him it would be to his advantage to have someone with his experience take over the business.He explained that even if the buyer was an honest and good person, he could not convince himself to accept such an arrangement to sell the property, and only obtained a legal commitment to pay promissory notes in monthly installments.He asked the other party to pay a small amount of cash first, showing good credit.The seller said, "I give you my business, can't I expect something specific in return?" But the buyer just wouldn't budge, saying that was his usual way of doing business.The seller sighed and hung up, knowing he would have to find another buyer.Later, he discovered that his instincts were correct and the decision was favorable.The buyer later succeeded in acquiring the same business on monthly payment by promissory note, but within a year it had to be returned to the original owner due to poor management. Therefore, although the seller had to withdraw from the negotiation, in fact his approach was extremely beneficial to himself.He stood his ground. After offering every possible alternative to the buyer, the buyer was still unwilling to make a sincere and responsible financial commitment, even a symbolic payment.When the buyer refused to pay the nominal cash, he had in fact told the seller that he was not willing to make any promises to him-except verbal ones.This behavior makes the seller feel that the buyer lacks sincerity, and the verbal promise lacks protection at all, and it is not worth the risk. The point of this story is: You should not be afraid to walk out of the negotiation, and you should not sacrifice your original intentions. Don't make the negotiation a bitter cup, a cross on your own burden, and don't just win at any cost.If you do, you will end up with a heart attack.And if you can't negotiate calmly, your negotiation efficiency will be greatly reduced, and many transactions are not transactions at all.In fact, the vast majority of transactions are like this, the selection process is part of the business, and patience is indeed a virtue worth cultivating. In negotiations, if the opponent comes prepared and aggressive, a smart negotiator generally does not have a direct conflict with the opponent, but tries to avoid the opponent's arrogance and dangerous moves.At this time, you can use the method of playing hard to get, and use your strength to lure the enemy into the deep method to paralyze the opponent, so that the opponent will fall into his trap when he loses vigilance. Afanti and the king met, and the king asked Afanti if there were two things in front of you, one was gold and the other was virtue, which one would you like? Avanti replied: "Of course I want gold!" The king said triumphantly: "Avanti, you are such a villain! If it were me, I would choose virtue. Money is everywhere, and virtue is everywhere. But it is rare!" Afanti replied calmly: "Yes, what a person wants is what he lacks the most, isn't it? We want what we lack, we just want What they lack!" The king was speechless. The defense method used by Avanti to the king is just playing hard to get. Zen master Ikkyu in Japan was smart since he was a child. One day, he accidentally broke a very precious teacup (a rare treasure) of his teacher, and he was very scared.Just at this moment, he heard the teacher's footsteps, so he quickly hid the broken cup behind him. When the teacher came to him, he suddenly asked, "Why do people die?" It’s a natural thing, everything in the world is born and dies.” At this time, Ikkyu took out the broken teacup and said to the teacher, “Teacher, your teacup’s time to die has come.” The teacher looked at the broken teacup, but he was angry, but he didn’t feel angry. Well it happened again. This seems like a child's cleverness, but it is actually a great skill to lead the opponent into the trap that has been set up and let the opponent be caught without a fight. Here are a few things to keep in mind when using this strategy: In the negotiation, if you behave as if you are separated, every "divorce" should have an appropriate excuse, so that the other party cannot easily get it, nor let the other party give up easily.When the other party gets another chance, he will cherish it even more. Pay attention to your speech and behavior, and don't act to humiliate the other party, avoid hurting the other party emotionally, and shift the focus of conflicts. To make the other party feel that they can really get benefits from the negotiation, this benefit is enough to bring the other party back to the negotiating table, so as not to let the opponent "swipe" away and make oneself a complete failure. There was a Norwegian businessman who was shrewd and able to do as the Romans did.He went to a certain country in Africa to do business, and one day he was invited to visit the home of a local senior employee. The two sides talked very harmoniously, but he kept silent about the business from beginning to end.The master exclaimed: "You are the first Western businessman who doesn't talk about business once he enters the door." As a result, the savvy Norwegian businessman landed a fortune.It turns out that in Africa, people who are anxious are usually considered suspicious and untrustworthy. The road to success is always tortuous, and there will inevitably be deadlocks in the bargaining process.To deal with deadlock, don't be afraid, don't panic.Deadlock is not the end of the negotiation, and it is quite dangerous to throw a tantrum without remedial measures.Both sides should work together to make the necessary concessions to break the deadlock and allow the negotiations to proceed. Breaking the deadlock also requires the use of certain strategies. Using strategies to break the deadlock is not only conducive to the smooth operation of the negotiation, but also may gain the initiative in the negotiation and seize the opportunity to obtain a favorable negotiation result.It is generally believed that the following strategies can be adopted when an impasse occurs in negotiations: First of all, you must be calm-headed, and you must not speak impulsively to stimulate the other party. "A good word warms the winter three times, and a bad word hurts the June cold." Harsh words will form emotional confrontation, which is extremely harmful to breaking the deadlock. Replace negotiating team members.Let go of members who might irritate the opponent.A very experienced negotiator will not be asked to leave for offending the other party, because he may play a large role in the bad guy's strategy.Now is the time to take the pressure off the other side, remove these people from your team, and make concessions. Reinterpret the problem in a different way; provide new reasons, new information to explore the broader issue; find a bridge to make some aspects of the requirements part of the agreement. Talk about something light-hearted, or an entertaining news piece, or an interesting story to ease the tension. Review past or future needs, and together figure out the consequences of failing to reach an agreement. Create a task force with personnel from both parties. Recourse to Power suggests using a third party. Take a temporary adjournment to calm the minds of both parties, sort out their thoughts, and seek solutions.For your own side, it is best to give a detailed explanation of your plan before the adjournment, and ask the other party for further consideration during the adjournment. Try to change the atmosphere in the negotiating room.If the win-win focus in a negotiation has been muted, try making it more competitive.If the negotiation has become difficult to control, try to open more win-win channels. Review and summarize the issues that the two parties have negotiated to eliminate the frustration caused by the deadlock.Or talk about the issues that are easier for both parties to reach an agreement first, and then talk about the issues in the deadlock after both parties have a certain sense of satisfaction.For example, you can encourage each other: "Look, we've already solved many problems, and now this is all that's left. Wouldn't it be a pity if we didn't solve them together?" It is worth noting that in negotiations involving multiple discussion topics, special attention should be paid to the importance and priority of the issues. For example, in a negotiation involving six issues, four are important and the other two are not.And assuming that three of the four major issues have been agreed, leaving only one major issue and two minor issues, then, in order to resolve these issues in one fell swoop, you can tell the other party: "The four difficult issues have been solved." Three, if the remaining one can also be solved together, the other small problems will be easy to deal with. Let us continue to work hard and discuss the only difficult problem! If we just give up like this, everyone will feel regretful!" Hearing what you said, the other party will probably nod and agree to continue the negotiation.When the fourth important issue has also been resolved, you may wish to repeat the above statement again, so that the negotiation can be successfully concluded. Many people use strategic delaying tactics in many negotiations. This strategy takes many forms and has different purposes.Because it has the characteristics of static braking and leaving few loopholes, it has become a commonly used tactical method in negotiations.So, in what situations is it most effective to use strategic procrastination tactics? To cite a common situation, when the two parties "cannot agree" and cause a deadlock, it is necessary to slow down the pace of the negotiation and see where the obstacles are in order to find a solution.At this time, we often need to use strategic delay tactics. Conan Doyle, the author of "The Collection of Sherlock Holmes", is a well-known figure, but few people know that Conan Doyle is also a very stubborn person by nature.After finishing the fourth volume of Detective Collection, I insisted on refusing to write any more, and used practical actions to make Sherlock Holmes and the criminal Professor Moriarty fall into the abyss together, "one and one hundred".Koshik's publisher, Mays, is a shrewd man, knowing that Koshik is just tired of writing this kind of popular literature, and Koshik still has a soft spot for Holmes, who has brought great reputation and benefits to the author.As a result, Metz firmly grasped the copyright agent, and at the same time devoted himself to Koch's work, telling him the regrets and dissatisfaction of Sherlock Holmes fans from time to time, and at the same time promised him a generous remuneration of 1,000 pounds for each story.The two-pronged approach really yielded results a year later, and Conan Doyle resumed writing, allowing Holmes to climb out of the canyon, and then staged a series of wonderful detective stories. In the above example, if the publisher is impatient and keeps pressing, I am afraid that the history of detective literature will lose a shining star.In the same way, when encountering difficulties in any negotiation, you should give yourself a buffer time, and at the same time give the other party a buffer time. Of course, some obstacles in negotiations are "hidden", often hidden under various blatant excuses, and are not easy to be seen through at once.This requires us to procrastinate first, take it easy, and deal with this situation calmly. D. Kirby, a well-known negotiator of ITT Corporation in the United States, once told such a case: the negotiation between Kirby and S Company is coming to an end.However, at this moment, the other party's attitude suddenly became tough, and they were critical of the agreement that had been negotiated, and made various unreasonable demands.Kirby was very confused, because the representative of the other party was not the kind of unreasonable person, and the agreement must be beneficial to both parties. Under such circumstances, why did S company block the signing?Kirby sensibly suggested that the negotiation should be postponed, and after collecting information from various sources, he finally understood the key point: the other party thought that ITT was much more advantageous than his own side!Although the price was acceptable, the feeling of psychological unfairness was difficult to accept, which led to the shelving of the agreement.As a result, the negotiations were re-negotiated. After Kirby compared the prices, the other party knew that the profits of the two parties were roughly the same, and signed the contract an hour later. In actual negotiations, there are still many such hidden obstacles. To deal with them, delaying tactics are quite effective.However, it must be pointed out that this kind of "delay" is by no means passive, but to use the time gained from "delay" to collect intelligence, analyze problems, and open up the situation.Passive waiting, the result can only be failure. In fact, this kind of procrastination is very similar to a strategic delay, that is, if you can't solve the problem at hand, then you should wait until you find a solution. There is an opportunity to solve a problem. If you encounter obstacles in the negotiation, it means that the time to solve this problem is not ripe, so blind action will only cause you losses.For example, when you are negotiating with the other party, the other party’s asking price is very high, but you know that after one month, the market price will drop significantly, and the time for you to solve the price problem should be one month later.Then you should delay the time, put pressure on the other party, and win a good environment to bargain at the same time. Delaying tactics also have a strategic significance, that is, by delaying time, waiting for changes in regulations, market prices, exchange rates, etc., so as to take the initiative and force the other party to make concessions. There are several well-known cases that illustrate the significance of using strategic delay to gain opportunities in negotiations. In 1986, a customer in Hong Kong negotiated fur business with a foreign trade company in a northeast province, but the terms were favorable but they were delayed for a long time.More than two months passed in a blink of an eye, the international fur market, which had been thriving before, was overwhelmed with goods, and the price plummeted. At this time, Hong Kong businessmen bought at a very low price, which made us suffer a big loss.For another example, when a spinning mill in Wuchang was built in 1920, it ordered 20,000 spindles of spinning machines from the British company Amway, worth 200,000 pounds.At that time, the exchange rate between the British pound and silver was 1:2.5, and 200,000 pounds was only worth 500,000 taels of silver.By the end of 1921, the world's financial markets changed suddenly, and the exchange rate between the British pound and silver skyrocketed to 1:7.At this time, the British businessman took the opportunity to urge the yarn factory to settle the foreign exchange and receive the goods. The price of 500,000 taels of silver suddenly became 1.4 million taels, which caused the factory to suffer huge losses. Strategies and tactics are flexible. From the above examples, we can see that everyone may fail in the negotiation because the other party uses strategic delaying tactics. Conversely, they can use this strategy to give themselves the upper hand.